“You can never escape – your master.
MUAHAHAHAHA!”
Photos: Fame, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
‘You Can’t Escape Me…’
November 29th, 2010 // 55 Comments
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I was there!!!!!! And the Pillisbury Doughboy was screaming in terror that she was gonna eat him. As you can see he was in terror.
Does the DoughBoy giggle when it’s scared?
And her fart obviously killed the little fairy on top of the blue thing in back of her!
Which one is the Pillsbury Doughboy??? I can’t freakin tell anymore.
The DoughBoy has a big puffy penis (that Jess DID eat), and the DoughGirl had big puffy boob biscuits and a yeast infection from screwing the DoughBoy.
I was really there, at 37th street to be exact.
Look! It’s the Pillsbury Doughboobs!
Wow, totally looks like ghostbusters,
and yeah it totally looks like he is saying You will never escape me
hahahahah
The poor gingerbread man didn’t see it coming.
looks like someone tried to glue her lips shut………the fools! That will never work. I bet he was a goner by 38th street!
If she wore clothes a size larger, she wouldn’t look like a sausage. That coat is way to tight on her.
thank YOU!! she always looks one button pop away from unfurling….
a jacket one size bigger wouldnt have been too bad ^^
Insert…Eclairs…NOW!!!!
Oh parade planners, your “coincidence” in float planning has not gone unnoticed. Tee hee!
Frigging corporate horseshit! Now they are letting TWO Pillsbury Doughboys into the parade?!
Jessica’s collective gas was used to blow up many Thanksgiving Day floats. Here we see the Pillsbury Dough boy inflated after a day old taco, which was found in the folds of her neck
“Remember, the secret to looking slim is to stand next to people who are fatter than you!”
-Rodney Dangerfield
I have never seen the Pillsbury Doughboy looking so svelte…
This picture is worth a thousand words…or muffins, can’t decide.
Jessica: “Does this balloon make my ass look fat?”
Now how did we know she would be on the Pillsbury Doughboy float????
Keep the comments relevant to the post, you twat.
hahahahaha at you for cussing out a SPAM ADVERTISEMENT!!!
It’s amazing how much you can load on the back of a flatulent-bed truck.
Wow, she’s really testing the tensile strength of those buttons, huh.
When I first saw this picture I thought “Big deal, Jessica is dragging home her shopping cart after going out for groceries”.
First…. :)
The oven conveniently hides the fact that the Pillsbury Dough Boy’s poppin’ fresh dough behind her.
Mumpsface.
You have to open your mouth wide to eat an air biscuit.
End of passion play, crumbling away
I’m your source of self-destruction
Veins that pump with fear, sucking dark is clear
Leading on your deaths construction
Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I’m killing you
Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master
Master of Puppets I’m pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can’t see a thing
Just call my name, ’cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, ’cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Needlework the way, never you betray
Life of death becoming clearer
Pain monopoly, ritual misery
Chop your breakfast on a mirror
Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I’m killing you
Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master
Master of Puppets I’m pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can’t see a thing
Just call my name, ’cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, ’cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Master, Master, where’s the dreams that I’ve been after?
Master, Master, you promised only lies
Laughter, Laughter, all I hear or see is laughter
Laughter, Laughter, laughing at my cries
Hell is worth all that, natural habitat
Just a rhyme without a reason
Neverending maze, drift on numbered days
now your life is out of season
I will occupy
I will help you die
I will run through you
Now I rule you too
Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master
Master of Puppets I’m pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can’t see a thing
Just call my name, ’cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, ’cause I’ll hear you scream
Master
Master
Here’s one more reason that Metallica should hire someone to write their lyrics… my cat could do better than this. Saw a documentary on them, and it showed them “writing” lyrics… the best they could come up with was “my lifestyle determines my death style.” Heavy, man. ROFL
Hey didnt say it was my favorite band, just thought it fit. Oh well.
Hey loser, your favorite band is shit and you are a waste of space.
This is the closest she’s ever been to having a bun in the oven.
Nothing could prepare the young trumpet player for the KFC vortex that would ensue.
Fucking epic. ROFLMAO
“One time, at band camp….”
Good Lord this girl is big! I hate to think what she’s going to look like after she pops out a couple of puppies.
Since I’m sure it would have to be done doggy style.
Please buy a coat that fits comfortably over those big hooters & thick waist.
Thank U.
“Show me how wide you had to open your mouth to inhale the durtucken”
“Oops, I farted!”
“Give me back my cookies!”
one day she’s gona be that big :(
Nine months later the stay puft marshmallow man was born.
Biggest lunch box ever.
For the first time together, the doughboy AND the doughgirl!
Damn she got fat.
My sister was there, and overheard a group of children shouting, “Is it Santa? It’s Santa! It’s Santa! Oh wait, it’s just Jessica Simpson.”
True story.
Mehh, I’d still hit it. Hey, I’d even coax her into bed with the promise of extra frosting.
Which one is Jessica Simpson?
Is that Amber from Teen Mom sitting up there? It IS Armageddon!!
i swear superficial writer is obsessed with jessica simpson like he secretly wants to fuck her or something..
This pose is precisely why the Pillsbury dough boy floated behind Simpson.
Hey, it’s Jessica Simpson following a float with a tiny lookalike!
I have to say that while this site is usually good for a laugh, this picture and caption made me laugh out loud at my desk. Love it!