Good Morning, Amanda Cerny, And Other News

September 22nd, 2014 // 1 Comment

- Amy Adams is probably going to win another Oscar. [Lainey Gossip]

- Don’t pay money to see Lauryn Hill. [Dlisted]

- Future Lower Back Problems means big breasts. In case that was too subtle. [theCHIVE]

- Paula Patton is winning. [Fishwrapper]

- David Bowie does a better Tilda Swinton than Tilda Swinton’s David Bowie. [The Frisky]

- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley‘s breasts will sell you Coke with Stevia in it now. [WWTDD]

- 4chan convinced idiots to microwave their iPhone 6. [Death and Taxes]

- Goddamn, Emanuela de Paula. [Popoholic]

- Alicia Keys is naked and pregnant. [tooFab]

- What’s up, Mayra Suarez? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kelly Brook still has giant breasts. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

There Is.. Another.. Fappening

September 21st, 2014 // 36 Comments
There Is No God
Hilary Duff Legs Butt
Hilary Duff Fappening Pics Are Fake Read More »

NOTE: This is not a leaked photo of Kim Kardashian. This is the shit she gives away for free.

The last time I covered The Fappening our servers broke for two weeks, so if it’s Monday morning and there’s nothing but a crater where the site once was, avenge me. Now that that out’s of the way, apparently the FBI has not caught the hacker(s) responsible for the last glut of celebrity nudes because Saturday afternoon more hacked photos started appearing on reddit and 4chan. However, they were removed almost as quickly as they were uploaded just to give you an idea just how many lawyers are involved with this thing now. Shit, the guy who hacked Scarlett Johansson got 10 years in prison, so I’m pretty sure they’re going to bomb whoever did this because we’re talking about all the rich people now. And if you think I’m joking, here’s the list so far which just added Amber Heard barely an hour ago: More »

The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.24

September 20th, 2014 // 13 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where I hope you like jokes about Michael Bay and the Amy Winehouse statue because that’s what literally half of these are. They were your muse. Anyway, we’ve got a short gallery, but it’s probably one of the more darker, so whatever’s happening in your lives to cause that, try and prolong it so you’ll keep being funnier on the Internet. Good talk.

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The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.19.14

September 19th, 2014 // 355 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where for some strange reason, every photo I picked today was a giant giggling butt. Like Nina Agdal up there. Check out that giant giggling butt on her chest! Totally weird, right? Or how bout Jean-Claude Van Damme karate chopping through a giant giggling ice butt. Where’d they even find such a thing? Mr. T found a giant giggling butt just sitting in a carseat, right on the sidewalk!! Can you believe it?

On a serious note though, I just went to the bathroom and peed out of a giant giggling butt into a giant giggling butt, then washed my giant giggling butts while looking into a giant giggling butt in the mirror SOMEONE CALL ME AN AMBULANCE!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

SUGAR BEAR DONE CHEATED ON MAMA JUNE!

September 19th, 2014 // 34 Comments
Sugar Bear Mama June Honey Boo Boo
Previously In Rednecks
Sarah Palin
Jesus Says Knock You Out! Read More »

Somebody is having sex with the man in this photograph besides the giant woman next to him. That’s literally what you’re about to read because our reality is a Mentos dropped in a Mountain Dew bottle: Pure chaos. TMZ reports:

Mama June and Sugar Bear Thompson are done — separated — because she’s convinced he’s been cheating on her … sources tell TMZ.
We’re told Mama June has repeatedly caught Sugar Bear trolling on online dating sites. One of them is plentyoffish.com, in which Sugar Bear — with the handle Georgiafighter31054 — says “i love to hunt fish and ride 4wheelers and have a good time. i luve muddy Boggs and love to ride in the mudd.”

Jesus. How do you not fuck that? Anyway, producers are “scrambling” to figure out what to do next because apparently the show requires more than simply aiming a camera at white trash and waiting for them to put butter on something and/or get pregnant. Then put butter on it.

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Photos: Splash News

And Now Courtney Stodden’s Breasts

September 19th, 2014 // 78 Comments

Originally, I was going to write a post about Jonathan Dwyer head-butting his wife for not having sex with him, but then I saw these pics of Courtney Stodden’s breasts and decided we needed 30 photos of them because they look all weird. As for which of those topics would’ve opened a more beneficial dialog, who’s to say? Maybe there’s a young woman thinking about getting implants, but she has no idea that they can stretch your tits down to your knees. Or that it’s worth the risk anyway. We all have our own journeys.

Photos: HEDO/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

That Deadpool Test Footage Worked

September 19th, 2014 // 20 Comments
Deadpool Test Footage
WATCH: Deadpool Leaked Test Footage
Starring Ryan Reynolds!
Green Lantern Ryan Reynolds Blake Lively
What Could Go Wrong? Read More »

After getting stuck playing an absolute shithouse version of the character in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Ryan Reynolds will finally get a chance to star in a solo Deadpool movie – a project he’s pursued since 2003 – that will presumably be R-rated considering the spark was the leaked test footage (above) he made years ago with now-director Tim Miller, but only just put on the Internet back in July to gauge interest. THR reports:

In a recent interview, Reynolds commented on the leak, suggesting it helped move the process along. “The movie has been in a state of limbo for a while. There was such an overpowering reaction to the footage, you sort of feel like, ‘Oh, so we weren’t crazy for our reasons for loving this character, for loving this role.’ It’s interesting to see the power of the Internet. It’s awe-inspiring, actually,” the actor told the Niagara Falls Review. “And it’s neat that Twitter and Facebook and Instagram can move mountains when used in the right way.”

So, wait, some people liked a YouTube video and now Fox is just going to forget Green Lantern ever happened? Were Blake Lively’s breasts in the room when this decision was made? Because I feel like key pieces of information are being left out here, and one of them involves the words “sexual kaleidoscope.” Call it a hunch.

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How Dare Mere Muggles Tell Gwyneth Paltrow Not To Ride Her Vespa?!

September 19th, 2014 // 6 Comments
Martha's Out For Blood
Martha Stewart Gwyneth Paltrow
She Will Strike Down Upon Thee With Great Vengeance Read More »

Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow was filmed cutting off a school bus (above) with her Vespa as her daughter rode behind her because the laws of physics are a beggar’s game. Except apparently the lowly mortals who call themselves “school chiefs” felt they had the authority to dictate Gwyneth’s means of conveyance while sloughing her children into their ramshackle of a teaching facility. There’s not even a gluten-free tapas bar! What happened to education for the wealthy in this country? Page Six reports:

A source told us: “The scooters had been convenient for zipping around Los Angeles traffic, and dropping the kids off at school without having to wait with other parents and kids in the car-pool line. But after Gwyneth was photographed on the Vespa pulling out in front of a bus, school chiefs reprimanded her and said they’d rather she and Chris didn’t bring the kids to school on scooters.”

While Chris Martin‘s rep couldn’t give less fucks, Gwyneth’s has already responded and get ready for a giant horseshit pill to swallow:

“This story is not true. It was last year that they would occasionally drive the kids to school on scooters. This year, the kids take the bus.”

Gwyneth Paltrow’s kids take the bus. That’s what she expects us to believe here. Her rep could’ve said the children each ride a Pegasus that lands safely on the roof where it eats enchanted carrots until it’s time to go home, and I would’ve sat here going, “Yup, that happens. That definitely happens.” But the bus? Jesus Christ, lady.

Photo: TMZ

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