Nov 25 2009 Peter Facinelli is a good sport
Since it's the day before Thanksgiving we've reached the point where I'm basically posting whatever the hell I want and you'll like it. So here's a sketch form last night's Attack of the Show starring Twilight's Peter Facinelli who was remarkably game to poke fun at his gravy train. Although, at the end of the day he gets to go home and bang Jennie Garth, so it's not like the franchise can take that away from him. Unless, of course, it's gotten that powerful, in which case, prepare for President McSparkleskin to sweep the 2012 election with his Mandatory Vampire Prom Date platform.
Thanks to Jonah Ray whose turn-ons include puppies and 80s-style montages.
Scope Out the Video After the Jump
Nov 25 2009 Katie Couric is f-cking sexy
Sometime Monday, an anonymous source started passing around these old Facebook photos of a drunken Katie Couric celebrating her debut as an anchor for CBS News. And my God, I thought I knew what eroticism meant, but brother, I was all wrong. It's like a gin-soaked duffel bag of raw sexuality telling me to get her estrogen pills because the shit is on. RAWR!
In related news, I'm ready to admit I have a drinking problem now.
UPDATE: I don't usually call out comments, but meg nailed this bitch out of the park:
She's just Jon Gosselin's type!
WIN.
Nov 25 2009 Katie Holmes is lucky to be alive
Clearly on a suicide mission to free herself of tiny shackles forever, Katie Holmes went to see New Moon over the weekend and basically threw herself to the lions. FOX 411 reports:
"Katie talked through all of 'New Moon.' It was unbelievable - they talked nonstop about the movie and everything else. Some people wanted to tell them to be quiet, but when they realized who it was, they stayed silent. No one wanted to shush Katie."
Wow, Twi-hards are dumb because I'm pretty sure it's incredibly easy to shush Katie Holmes. All you gotta do is inhale a bunch of helium then say something like, "Katie, why are there so many Thetans in this room?" Or "Katie, I thought I told you to wear metal underwear on that thing." She'll clam right up.
Nov 25 2009 Megan Fox not invited to Transformers reunion
Tensions are apparently still high from the open letter calling Megan Fox a "thankless, unfriendly bitch" because she was noticeably absent from Michael Bay's reunion party for the cast and crew of Transformers, according to Page Six. At this point, it's safe to assume these two will never be in the same room together until it's time to film Transformers 3: This Time All The Robots Have Giant Metal Testicles and One's Gay.
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Nov 25 2009 Chace Crawford used to bang Shauna Sand
The headline pretty much covers it. Star reports:
Four years before Gossip Girl brought him instant stardom, the 18-year-old hunky college freshman had a steamy, sex-filled romance with model/actress Shauna, the ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas and May 1996 Playmate who is 14 years his senior!
"He was so incredibly beautiful -- I immediately fell in love with him!" Shauna tells Star exclusively about meeting Chase at a college party in Malibu. The couple began dating "and I even gave him a key to my apartment," Shauna said.
They quickly wore out a path to the bedroom. And though Chace has said he dated a girl for three years while in high school, a friend tells Star: "Chace told me, 'Shauna was the first girl I ever had sex with! She blew my mind, and I'll never forget it!'"
Wait. The source of this story is Shauna Sand? Jesus. Let this be a lesson to you, young Hollywood: The things you stick your penis in will always come back to haunt you. Right, Phantom Copy Machine trying to call TMZ? -- HEY!
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Nov 24 2009 Claudia Schiffer, Helena Christensen and Eva Herzigova get naked together
Here's supermodels Claudia Schiffer ,39, Helena Christensen ,40, and Eva Herzigova ,36, posing nude together for the winter issue of i-D Magazine, and these shots are seriously making me rethink my theory of marooning women over the age of 35 on a desert island. (Don't worry, there'd be a Bon-Ton. I'm not an animal.)
Pics link to NSFW versions.
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Nov 24 2009 Taylor Lautner in Rolling Stone and other news
- Rihanna does Good Morning America while Adam Lambert learns a lesson about ABC not being MTV. [Lainey Gossip]
- Lady GaGa gets breasty at Best Buy. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are apparently going to do it. [PopEater]
- Kate Bosworth is leggy. [Celebslam]
- Leighton Meester can go in my stocking. Blake Lively, you get under the tree. [Just Jared]
- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart tweet together. [PopSugar]
- John Mayer in DETAILS. [ICYDK]
- Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian bought a new home. With his money. [Betty Confidential]
- Ashley Greene? But she's not dressed all slutty like. This has to be a mistake... [Splash News]
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Nov 24 2009 Zoe Saldana in a bikini thinks you're a pansy
Actress Zoe Saldana (Star Trek) poses for DETAILS.com and talks about her penchant for starring in action flicks like the upcoming Avatar:
"I'm such a physical person, action-film work came natural," Saldana says. "Even at 5 years old, I was watching Sarah Connor. If you fucking switched the channel to The Last Unicorn, I would've been like, 'Ah, Jesus--just find your way home, you fucking unicorn!'"
Ways to Bang Zoe Saldana
- Write a blog.
- Wear a unicorn around waist using penis as a horn.
{{{ - Hot-glue circuits to testicles, claim to be The Terminator. }}}
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Nov 24 2009 Brad & Angelina don't agree on politics. OH SHIT!
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie apparently have heated discussions over Obama, according to Us Magazine:
"She's into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise," adds the source.
"Angie isn't Republican, but she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors," the source says.
And those political views are putting her at odds with Brad Pitt, 45, who is a big fan of the president and even went solo to the 2008 election party in Chicago.
"They get in nasty arguments all the time about it," says the source. "She doesn't respect Brad when it comes to politics, but, in the end, this won't tear them apart."
MEMORANDUM
TO: Editors Stuck Working This Week (Sorry!)
RE: Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
Hey, if you guys could make up a wacky story where Angelina Jolie inexplicably repeats Glenn Beck talking points while liberal Brad gets all offended, that would be tits.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Management,
Us Magazine
11/24/09
#
Continue Reading " Brad & Angelina don't agree on politics. OH SHIT! "
Nov 24 2009 Jon Gosselin sold his kids to pedophiles. Or something.
Michael Lohan's tape recorder is back. Instead of targeting Lindsay and Dina, Michael's selling private phone calls with Jon Gosselin to RadarOnline that reveal the Homely Humper's ability to use horrible choices of words during a secretly recorded conversation. Via E! News:
On the true market for Jon & Kate Plus 8:
"I mean, I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it? It's disgusting."
On selling interviews to tabloids:
"It's like a shopping game now. Because everyone knows I talked. So like, 'Oh my God, he's free game now cause TLC doesn't give a fuck.' They don't! They haven't said shit! What the fuck? Why the fuck didn't I do this, like, months ago?"
On "fucking" TLC:
"They struck side deals and none of that money went to my kids. To leak that to the public? Oh my god, Michael, can you imagine? They'd be so fucked! Their stock would tank! That they stole from eight kids!"
On his penchant for choosing amazing friends:
"I've known you a couple weeks, and I like you...you know, but I don't even know your past, Michael. Our relationship started a couple weeks ago. I don't care about the past. I could care less. It's the same with Hailey. She did all this shit in college, but I didn't know her then. Our relationship started May 4. You know, it's like, it's irrelevant to me. So, you know, that's how I'm gonna go."
If anyone's seen episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8 prior to the divorce, Jon Gosselin never said more than two words. But in this phone call and last night's big finale, he's literally going a mile-a-minute. I'm not saying the guy's on coke, but I'm also not saying Kate shouldn't count the kids after they've been with Jon.
KATE: 5, 6, 7- Hey, where's that other one? The Asian-looking one.
JOEL: Daddy said Collin needed to move to Thailand so he can buy "happy sugar."
KATE: WHAT? Gosselins, form ChildTron!
JOEL: But Collin was the leg.
KATE: Goddammit.
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