The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 4.24

September 20th, 2014 // 5 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where I hope you like jokes about Michael Bay and the Amy Winehouse statue because that’s what literally half of these are. They were your muse. Anyway, we’ve got a short gallery, but it’s probably one of the more darker, so whatever’s happening in your lives to cause that, try and prolong it so you’ll keep being funnier on the Internet. Good talk.

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The Crap We Missed – Friday 9.19.14

September 19th, 2014 // 344 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where for some strange reason, every photo I picked today was a giant giggling butt. Like Nina Agdal up there. Check out that giant giggling butt on her chest! Totally weird, right? Or how bout Jean-Claude Van Damme karate chopping through a giant giggling ice butt. Where’d they even find such a thing? Mr. T found a giant giggling butt just sitting in a carseat, right on the sidewalk!! Can you believe it?

On a serious note though, I just went to the bathroom and peed out of a giant giggling butt into a giant giggling butt, then washed my giant giggling butts while looking into a giant giggling butt in the mirror SOMEONE CALL ME AN AMBULANCE!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

SUGAR BEAR DONE CHEATED ON MAMA JUNE!

September 19th, 2014 // 35 Comments
Sugar Bear Mama June Honey Boo Boo
Previously In Rednecks
Sarah Palin
Jesus Says Knock You Out! Read More »

Somebody is having sex with the man in this photograph besides the giant woman next to him. That’s literally what you’re about to read because our reality is a Mentos dropped in a Mountain Dew bottle: Pure chaos. TMZ reports:

Mama June and Sugar Bear Thompson are done — separated — because she’s convinced he’s been cheating on her … sources tell TMZ.
We’re told Mama June has repeatedly caught Sugar Bear trolling on online dating sites. One of them is plentyoffish.com, in which Sugar Bear — with the handle Georgiafighter31054 — says “i love to hunt fish and ride 4wheelers and have a good time. i luve muddy Boggs and love to ride in the mudd.”

Jesus. How do you not fuck that? Anyway, producers are “scrambling” to figure out what to do next because apparently the show requires more than simply aiming a camera at white trash and waiting for them to put butter on something and/or get pregnant. Then put butter on it.

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Photos: Splash News

And Now Courtney Stodden’s Breasts

September 19th, 2014 // 72 Comments

Originally, I was going to write a post about Jonathan Dwyer head-butting his wife for not having sex with him, but then I saw these pics of Courtney Stodden’s breasts and decided we needed 30 photos of them because they look all weird. As for which of those topics would’ve opened a more beneficial dialog, who’s to say? Maybe there’s a young woman thinking about getting implants, but she has no idea that they can stretch your tits down to your knees. Or that it’s worth the risk anyway. We all have our own journeys.

Photos: HEDO/AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

That Deadpool Test Footage Worked

September 19th, 2014 // 20 Comments
Deadpool Test Footage
WATCH: Deadpool Leaked Test Footage
Starring Ryan Reynolds!
Green Lantern Ryan Reynolds Blake Lively
What Could Go Wrong? Read More »

After getting stuck playing an absolute shithouse version of the character in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Ryan Reynolds will finally get a chance to star in a solo Deadpool movie – a project he’s pursued since 2003 – that will presumably be R-rated considering the spark was the leaked test footage (above) he made years ago with now-director Tim Miller, but only just put on the Internet back in July to gauge interest. THR reports:

In a recent interview, Reynolds commented on the leak, suggesting it helped move the process along. “The movie has been in a state of limbo for a while. There was such an overpowering reaction to the footage, you sort of feel like, ‘Oh, so we weren’t crazy for our reasons for loving this character, for loving this role.’ It’s interesting to see the power of the Internet. It’s awe-inspiring, actually,” the actor told the Niagara Falls Review. “And it’s neat that Twitter and Facebook and Instagram can move mountains when used in the right way.”

So, wait, some people liked a YouTube video and now Fox is just going to forget Green Lantern ever happened? Were Blake Lively’s breasts in the room when this decision was made? Because I feel like key pieces of information are being left out here, and one of them involves the words “sexual kaleidoscope.” Call it a hunch.

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How Dare Mere Muggles Tell Gwyneth Paltrow Not To Ride Her Vespa?!

September 19th, 2014 // 6 Comments
Martha's Out For Blood
Martha Stewart Gwyneth Paltrow
She Will Strike Down Upon Thee With Great Vengeance Read More »

Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow was filmed cutting off a school bus (above) with her Vespa as her daughter rode behind her because the laws of physics are a beggar’s game. Except apparently the lowly mortals who call themselves “school chiefs” felt they had the authority to dictate Gwyneth’s means of conveyance while sloughing her children into their ramshackle of a teaching facility. There’s not even a gluten-free tapas bar! What happened to education for the wealthy in this country? Page Six reports:

A source told us: “The scooters had been convenient for zipping around Los Angeles traffic, and dropping the kids off at school without having to wait with other parents and kids in the car-pool line. But after Gwyneth was photographed on the Vespa pulling out in front of a bus, school chiefs reprimanded her and said they’d rather she and Chris didn’t bring the kids to school on scooters.”

While Chris Martin‘s rep couldn’t give less fucks, Gwyneth’s has already responded and get ready for a giant horseshit pill to swallow:

“This story is not true. It was last year that they would occasionally drive the kids to school on scooters. This year, the kids take the bus.”

Gwyneth Paltrow’s kids take the bus. That’s what she expects us to believe here. Her rep could’ve said the children each ride a Pegasus that lands safely on the roof where it eats enchanted carrots until it’s time to go home, and I would’ve sat here going, “Yup, that happens. That definitely happens.” But the bus? Jesus Christ, lady.

Photo: TMZ

Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea Hope You Like Asses

September 19th, 2014 // 39 Comments

So remember Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” video? Apparently Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea did because here’s their video for “Booty” which makes “Anaconda” look like a shitty ripoff of “Baby Got Back” but with Nicki Minaj’s fake butt bouncing around. And if you’re thinking to yourself, “Wait, wasn’t it supposed to look like that?” poor Photo Boy just screencapped eight million asses. Why the hell are you even reading this? Are you on drugs? If you’re on drugs, your mother and I will get you help, but you gotta talk to us.

Jennifer Lopez ‘Booty Ft. Iggy Azalea’ After The Jump

Good Morning, Chelsea Heath, And Other News

September 19th, 2014 // 6 Comments

- Chris Martin‘s singing for Jennifer Lawrence at his concerts now. [Lainey Gossip]

- Matthew McConaughey is officially not in Magic Mike XXL. THIS WORLD MUST BURN. [Dlisted]

- Bouncing Breast GIFs. Don’t resist them. [theCHIVE]

- Lindsay Lohan looks.. healthy? No, that can’t be right. [Fishwrapper]

- GWAR has a new lead singer named Vulvatron. We live in a bold new age. [The Frisky]

- Cameron Diaz poses in her underwear for GQ Germany. [WWTDD]

- Anne Hathaway knows Tai Chi. [Popoholic]

- Gwen Stefani is straight up calling Adam Levine offensive in interviews. [tooFab]

- Anastasia Ashley‘s ass made a video. [IDLYITW]

- What’s up, Maryna Linchuk? [Hollywood Tuna]

- Bruce Jenner has to be trolling us. [Celebslam]

- Jesus Christ, Caitlin Stasey… [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

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