Heidi Klum’s Topless In This Post, Too

December 29th, 2014 // Leave a Comment

When I scheduled this morning’s Topless Heidi Klum Best of 2014 post last week so I could do jackshit over the last four days, I had no idea that Heidi would also spend this past weekend sunbathing topless in St. Barts. And yet here we are, so if this is part of Agent Klum’s Doomsday Instructions from Der Führer, let her do it. Let her do the stuff. In fact, I have her orders right here. – *unrolls intercepted German communique* – “Kill everyone in Pennsylvania using streussel. Especially bloggers.” (Still on board.)

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Photo: Abaca / Vantagenews / AKM-GSI

Salma Hayek In A Bikini And Other News

December 29th, 2014 // 2 Comments

- Helena Bonham Carter is single in case that means anything to you. [Lainey Gossip]

- Eminem comes out of the closet in The Interview because it doesn’t have enough hype. [Fishwrapper]

- Idris Elba is aware you want him to be the next Bond. [Dlisted]

- Red Lipstick Is Always A Nice Touch [theCHIVE]

- PSA: Don’t smuggle crack pipes in your vagina. [The Frisky]

- Mark Wahlberg‘s wife in a bikini. [WWTDD]

- Neil deGrasse Tyson trolled the shit out of Christmas. [Death and Taxes]

- Goddamn, Stella Maxwell… [Popoholic]

- Charli XCX is kinda dumb. [IDLYITW]

- Irina Shayk made one of those dancing lingerie LOVE videos. [Hollywood Tuna]

- 2014: The Year in AHHHHHHHH! [Celebslam]

- Victoria Justice has breasts? I honestly had no idea. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: FameFlynet

BEST OF 2014: Heidi Klum Topless

December 29th, 2014 // Leave a Comment
BEST OF 2014
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Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don’t even have to write anything, that’s how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. Complete nonsense. And I’m going to put it on every single one of these. You won’t even care!

APRIL

Here’s Heidi Klum completely topless. Do I really need to make a pithy comment about how these made it here? I finally got a PS4 for Christmas. Why are you being dicks about this?

Posted: 4.16.14

Original Post: That’s Heidi Klum Completely Topless

Photos: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News

BEST OF 2014: Jennette McCurdy Leaked Photos

December 26th, 2014 // 20 Comments
BEST OF 2014
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The Superficial's Top Visited Posts of 2014 Read More »

Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don’t even have to write anything, that’s how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. Complete nonsense. And I’m going to put it on every single one of these. You won’t even care!

MARCH

Unlike The Fappening, these “leaked” Jennette McCurdy photos weren’t greeted with lawsuits and FBI investigations, but instead were allowed to be disseminated across the Internet because I’m guessing somebody knew Sam & Cat was about to be cancelled, and they weren’t going to degrade themselves by turning into a spoiled diva who makes people carry her like a baby. You took the high road, Jennette. You took the high road.

Posted: 3.3.14

Original Post: Jennette McCurdy Lingerie Selfies Leaked Online

BEST OF 2014: Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz Tour

December 26th, 2014 // 15 Comments
BEST OF 2014
Superficial Logo
The Superficial's Top Visited Posts of 2014 Read More »

Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don’t even have to write anything, that’s how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. Complete nonsense. And I’m going to put it on every single one of these. You won’t even care!

FEBRUARY

Miley Cyrus kicked off her Bangerz Tour in Vancouver which would eventually become a worldwide epidemic on par with the Ebola virus. Except the Ebola virus can be actually cured whereas most people will remember Miley Cyrus rubbing her chipmunk vagina on a giant inflatable penis until the day they die. That shit’s with you forever, and there’s nothing modern pharmaceuticals can do to help. I ran clinical trials.

Posted: 2.17.14

Original Post: Happy President’s Day! It’s Miley Cyrus Blowing A Dude In A Bill Clinton Mask

Photos: CYVR/AKM-GSI, Getty, Splash News

BEST OF 2014: Courtney Stodden Plays The Field

December 26th, 2014 // 15 Comments
BEST OF 2014
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The Superficial's Top Visited Posts of 2014 Read More »

Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don’t even have to write anything, that’s how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. Complete nonsense. And I’m going to put it on every single one of these. You won’t even care!

JANUARY

Late last year, Courtney Stodden pretended to be single before eventually realizing nobody cares about anything except her breasts and admitting she was still with Doug Hutchison the whole time. Which is also a move that Heidi and Spencer tried to pull off, so I’m assuming it’s in the instruction manual for every new pair of cartoon breasts. “Your Laughably Large Tits And You – Chapter 1: Faking A Divorce For Even More Attention Even Though Your Nipples Are Visible From Space.”

Posted: 1.31.14

Original Post: Courtney Stodden’s Implants Are Playing The Field

Photos: Coleman-Rayner

Happy Holidays, Everybody!

December 24th, 2014 // 86 Comments

Alright, folks, it’s that time of the year again. We’ll return Monday for a few days of light blogging, but look for the first three Best of 2014 posts to start rolling out on Friday. (I already put the runner-ups for January, February, and March under the tag, so don’t say I didn’t get you anything.) In the meantime, you can check out our fine quality link partners below or force yourself to endure the company of others in a cramped, familial setting. The choice is yours, but I should warn you that the last one has a 72% chance of hallucinating a talking rabbit that tells you to get a gun. His name is Jeffy, and he likes meatballs. Tell him I said “hi.”

Happy Holidays!

Lainey Gossip | Dlisted | theCHIVE | Fishwrapper | The Frisky | WWTDD | Popoholic | COED
Death and Taxes | IDLYITW | Hollywood Tuna | Celebslam | DrunkenStepfather

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The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.23.14

December 23rd, 2014 // 282 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which might be your last one before Christmas since it was basically nothing, or pics like Orlando Bloom holding a watermelon and Jim Belushi on a Vespa. Yes, of course, it has butts, but I’m not going to lie, I sort of wish this gallery was never born. George Hamilton knows what I’m talking about.

Shit, almost forgot. Eat a stocking full of dicks, Dan Bilzerian,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News

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