Nov 20 2009 Miranda Kerr and a bunch of chicks are topless
These are handouts from the 2010 Pirelli Calendar Launch Party in London last night, and I'm not pointing any fingers here, but had Summit Entertainment passed out free porn, maybe I would've came to their little launch event this week. -- Okay, you're right, I still wouldn't have shown up, but I might have sent an intern with a duffel bag and instructions to get Ashley Greene's phone number because apparently she's the easy one. So put that in your marketing pipe and smoke it.
Scope Out (12) Pics of the 2010 Pirelli Calendar After the Jump
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Nov 20 2009 Heidi Klum and the Other Victoria's Secret Models I'm Just Now Getting To
Here's some more shots from the 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show including Heidi Klum daring to walk on stage after having a baby, the unfathomably hot Ana Beatriz Barros, Behati Prinsloo and Chanel Iman who I specifically saved for last for reasons that will make you say "DAYAMN" unless you're allergic to pure joy.
Scope Out (16) Pics of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show After the Jump
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Nov 20 2009 Kim Kardashian's ass in boots and other news
- Ashley Greene is the Kate Hudson of the Twilight franchise? But Ashley has breasts... [Lainey Gossip]
- Kate Hudson proving my point from above. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW]
- Vanessa Hudgens is still maintaining Zac Efron's cover. [PopEater]
- Rihanna performs at sea. [Just Jared]
- Barron Hilton has pull at nightclubs that let him illegally drink. Ain't Hollywood grand? [Celebslam]
- Josh Duhamel and Katie Holmes discuss the trials of having cock-hungry spouses. [PopSugar]
- Jude Law is an incredible neighbor. [The Blemish]
- Tyra Banks is apparently some sort of racist. [Betty Confidential]
- Tim Burton being eyed for fourth Twilight movie? I don't think the world's ready for the vaginal tidal wave of Johnny Depp playing a sparkly vampire. We need more levees, dammit! [Socialite Life]
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Nov 20 2009 Carrie Prejean's brother: 'I'd watch her sex tape'
I never thought I'd find myself feeling sorry for Carrie Prejean, but Jesus Christ. Via RadarOnline:
Billy did come to his sister's defense once again:"It was from a cell phone, it was supposed to be totally confidential. I think people should move on."
Still, even he admits that he would watch the tapes if they were published: "If they were put in front of me I'd probably watch it."
I don't have a sister, but if I did, I guarantee I'd immediately kidney punch whoever put a video of her spelunking her Jesus cave in front of me. Unless they were only joking and it was really my first cousin. It's not like you can make a one-arm baby just looking at a sex tape. Alabama knows what I'm talking about.
Nov 20 2009 Shauna Sand: Mother of the Year
Continuing her trend of embarrassing whore moments in front of her kids, Shauna Sand spent last night flashing her panties to the paparazzi during a night out with her daughters. Although, in Shauna's defense, I'm pretty sure the paps wouldn't have shown after she called unless there were promises of making with the goods. But then again, that was probably a given. "Gentelmen, Shauna Sand's having a quiet dinner with her kids tonight. Who wants to shoot some labia?"
Scope Out (12) Pics of Shauna After the Jump
Nov 20 2009 Miley Cyrus cares deeply about her employees
After the tour bus accident that left a man dead this morning and injured others in her crew, you'd assume Miley Cyrus would postpone Sunday's show out of respect for her employees. Unfortunately, you'd be out of your goddamn mind because everyone knows The Jailbait Express waits for no man. TMZ reports:
TMZ spoke with an employee at the Greensboro Coliseum Complex in Greensboro, NC who tells us they've been flooded with calls asking about Miley's concert. At this point, the employee tells us, "The show is going on as scheduled."
Of course, I'm sure this is all just some elaborate scheme to get Miley Twittering again. Think about it: Where else could she instantly offer her sympathies then talk about how gay Twilight is moments later? Sure, a man died, but if it ends with the world receiving the 140 character thoughts of an over-religious teenage cash cow, are we not better for it? Sometimes you can't make an omelet without breaking some of the little people who can't even drive a bus without dying. Gawd.
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Nov 20 2009 Now who's gonna snowmobile with Tom Cruise?
Leaving Tom Cruise with no couch to jump on, save those of shirtless sailors and dollhouses, Oprah Winfrey announced today she'll be ending her talk show after 25 years on the air. Via People:
"After much prayer and careful thought, I decided that next season, season 25 will be the last season," Winfrey told audience members. "I love this show. ... This show has been my life and I love it enough to know when it's time to say goodbye."
Winfrey, 55, thanked her viewers for their support over the years. "These years with you, our viewers, have enriched my life beyond all measure," she said. "We've grown together. You've raised your families, had your children. And left a spot for me in the mornings or the afternoons. ... I want you all to know my relationship with you is one that I hold very dear."
The Superficial would like to offer its sincere condolences to anyone whose sole plan to own a car included being in Oprah's audience. However, I heard she chucks them out the window at squirrels getting into her garden, so if you can manage to cross the moat and dodge the machine gun turrets, there's still hope.
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Nov 20 2009 The 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
If you don't like looking at insanely hot women in lingerie, now would be a good time to go see New Moon and/or become a People subscriber. These are shots from last night's 2009 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, and I started things off with Alessandra Ambrosio and Marisa Miller who seem to be engaged in some sort of epic ab battle where the only real loser is all of us who will never get to touch them. -- Wow, I honestly didn't set out to drive people to suicide, yet here we are. My bad.
- Added Miranda Kerr whose ass should've been the top pic. I've failed you.
- Added Selita Ebanks because I hope Nick Cannon is reading and sobbing in his butler outfit. This isn't how you make Mariah's sandwich.
- Added Doutzen Kroes. Do I really have to explain why?
Scope Out (40) Pics of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show After the Jump
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Nov 20 2009 Miley Cyrus' tour claims a life
Presumably as punishment for simulating masturbation on stage, the Lord saw fit to flip one of Miley Cyrus' tour buses this morning in Virginia leaving the driver dead. Miley was not on board. The AP reports:
Sgt. Thomas Molnar said the bus overturned around 8:15 a.m. about 40 miles (65 kilometers) south of Richmond.
One of the other nine passengers had minor injuries. Police would not identify those aboard.
A wrecker arrived late Friday morning to haul away the black-and-maroon luxury tour bus, which was on its side in a ditch off the highway where it had apparently skidded for several hundred feet.
According to Miley Cyrus' Web site, the pop singer is scheduled to perform Sunday in Greensboro, North Carolina.
Remember, kids, if God can't find a kitten, a bus driver will always do.
Also, all that stuff about going blind.
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EDIT: The Superficial offers its sincere condolences to the driver's family. Much like I noted when Madonna's tour killed someone, I don't even know how you reconcile losing a loved one so Disney can rake in billions teaching 10 year old girls how to be jailbait strippers. My jokes are aimed solely at the Miley Cyrus franchise, and I apologize for any insensitivity that may be perceived.
Nov 20 2009 Megan Fox is stretchy
Hey, guys, running a tad behind this morning (Thank you, Victoria's Secret Fashion Show), so here are outtakes from Megan Fox's recent photoshoot for The New York Times Magazine. Because there's really not enough pics of Megan Fox accentuating her groin out there, so I'm just doing my part.
