The Crap We Missed – Monday 2.6.12

February 6th, 2012 // 5 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed full of treasures like Russell Crowe eyeing up his Blackberry’s next target, Ray J propositioning Whitney Houston with a career-reviving golden shower, Tim Burton feeling the joy of fatherhood and Ashley Tisdale getting this porn plot all wrong. You order the extra sausage, not deliver it. And here I thought Disney was preparing these kids for the sex industry.

Objects in the rear view mirror are closer than they app- JESUS,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer- Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Gisele Bundchen Hurt The Patriots’ Feelings

February 6th, 2012 // 28 Comments
Consoling Tom Brady
Gisele Bundchen
The Gisele Bundchen Story Read More »

And Maria Menounos just made them commit suicide.

As the New England Patriots try to figure out how the hell they lost another Super Bowl to the Giants, perhaps they should look into how a team of grown men are apparently delicate flowers who can’t handle one stick-thin supermodel making a legitimate statement. Just seems like a good place to start. TMZ reports:

Sources tell TMZ, the teammates are “disappointed” Gisele decided to air her grievances after the game last night — when she said, “My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”
According to sources, Tom’s teammates feel betrayed by Gisele’s behavior — the Pats organization is a brotherhood and Gisele’s pot shot violated the code — which is basically … win as a team, lose as a team.
As one source put it, “It’s like knocking someone when they are down.”

See? Look what you did, Gisele Bundchen, you big bully. Kicking a poor defenseless team of muscular athletes when they’re already feeling self-conscious. Some of them could’ve been on their period! But, no, you didn’t think about that, did you? It’s all about Gisele and how Gisele’s feeling. Well, there’s a code, lady. “No hurting fee-fees after game day.” Now hand over your Patriot seat-warmer. We earn things on this team.

Photos: Getty

JWoww Restores Class & Sophistication To The Super Bowl

February 6th, 2012 // 7 Comments

And by class and sophistication, I mean summoned Tim Tebow by making a cross with giant glowing dildos and then hanging out with Jenny McCarthy and Carmen Electra who, judging by this photo, banged later.

So, again, way classier than whatever the hell this is. Your honor has been restored, America.

Photos: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News

Christina Aguilera’s Fat Is Ruining ‘The Voice’

February 6th, 2012 // 56 Comments
'My Boyfriend Loves My Fat'
Christina Aguilera Fat
Methinks The Mighty Jabba Doth Protest Too Much Read More »

Seen here taking her son to a show that claims Michael Jackson is “immortal” yet, somehow, not a single person goes, “Child sacrifice, ‘ey? Not on my watch,” Christina Aguilera‘s weight is becoming the tights-wearing elephant in the room on the set of The Voice, according to the National Enquirer:

“Christina holds up pro­duction with her constant demands, saying, ‘Don’t make me look fat’ or ‘Don’t show my butt,’ ” the insider revealed.
“She’s insisted the cam­eramen only shoot her at flattering angles, forcing a few segments to be reshot. She also demands that the stylists bring her the latest slimming fashions, and she’s always ordering the makeup artists to make her face look thin­ner.”

“Blake and Cee Lo get annoyed at Christina’s silly requests, but Adam really can’t stand it,” ex­plained the insider. “He’s the first one to say that she’s unpro­fessional and producers shouldn’t reshoot takes just because she doesn’t like how she looks.”

What I want to know is how they’re actually shooting scenes that don’t make her look fat. Is The Voice even budgeted for CGI? Because I could see Adam Levine getting pissed about that. That’s back-end revenue right out of his pocket. “Well, folks, there were going to be bonuses, but then the McRib came back, and let’s just say one of you is apparently allergic to jogging.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Rihanna Partied With Chris Brown Again

February 6th, 2012 // 28 Comments

A few weeks back, Rihanna and Chris Brown were spotted partying together at the same club, although later reports cleared up it was just a coincidence and Chris was even there with his girlfriend Karrueche Tran. Jump to last night, where the two ended up at the same club again, according to Hollywood Life:

Rihanna, 23, and Chris Brown, 22, did an eyebrow-raising repeater as they were caught partying at Greystone Manor nightclub – the same LA club they were seen together at just last month.

Although Chris and RiRi deny being back together, a source told HollywoodLife.com on Jan. 23 that they thoroughly enjoy messing with the stalkerazzi.
“They knew it was going to cause a scene, and they actually are enjoying the fallout from it,” said the source.

KARRUECHE: Who are you texting that has you laughing so hard?
CHRIS: Check it out. Rihanna’s going to show up at Greystone again so people think she took me back.
KARRUECHE: Ohmygod, that’s so funny! They’re totally going to say you’ll kill her or something.
CHRIS: Ha! I know, right? Now remind me what I said about peeping about my phone, bitch?
KARRUECHE: Ohmygod, Chris, I’m sorry. HELP!!
CHRIS: Psyche! Bahahahaha! God, that never gets old. Love ya, babe.
KARRUECHE: Love ya, too, you big jokester.

(How I imagine that works.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

LeAnn Rimes Like You’ve Never Seen Her Before, Except Not Really, and Other News

February 6th, 2012 // 12 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

- Hot Chicks in the middle of nowhere. Easy, Ben Roethlisberger… [theCHIVE]

- Steven Tyler is why sexual harassment laws (and boner pills) exist. [Huffington Post]

- Kelly Clarkson didn’t forget the words or spontaneously menstruate. Well done, ma’am. [Dlisted]

- Jesse Eisenberg definitely has the charisma and showmanship to pull this off. [Lainey Gossip]

- Arianny Celeste in what could easily be misconstrued as crime scene photos. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Lady Gaga covered her naked breasts up with a football because she can’t help who she is and bullies are meanie-heads. [DrunkenStepfather: NSFW]

- Okay, maybe George Clooney knows what he’s doing. [Popoholic]

- Kim Kardashian won’t partake in any more football-playing black penis. [TMZ]

- Celebs review Madonna‘s cartwheeling batwing before M.I.A. destroyed America’s honor. [TooFab]

- The 15 Hottest Viral Female Athletes [Bleacher Report]

- This chick just ate LeAnn Rimes‘ lunch. Violently vomited it back up, but ate it nonetheless. [BuzzFeed]

- Amanda Seyfried‘s vagina, merked or unmerked, will not be in Lovelace. [FilmDrunk]

- Connor Cruise‘s DJ name is C-Squared. C-Squared, everybody. [Just Jared]

- Channing Tatum talks about The Vow in a way that suggests this movie should be taken seriously on some level. Greatest acting performance we’ll ever see from him. [Popsugar]

- Cee Lo Green doesn’t understand that having diabetes won’t drain your bank account. [Starpulse]

- The 20 Hottest Photos of Candice Swanepoel, Volume 2 [Heavy]

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News

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