Jul 2 2009 Kim Kardashian in a bikini
Ever had a fantasy about Kim Kardashian grilling you delicious hamburgers while wearing a bikini? Your dreams have come true, my friend. Provided you ignore the fact her ass is conveniently missing in every shot which is kind of making me think this is really a nightmare. Only one way to find out: Are Heidi and Spencer still alive? Yes? Fuck it's a nightmare.
Jul 2 2009 Cheryl Cole: 'Hey. Are my breasts hanging out?'
Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud celebrated her 26th birthday last night wearing a dress that apparently exists for the sole purpose of making me go "Aw, c'mon!" Seriously, if I had an archnemesis, one day he'd have me strapped to a bomb only to reveal he designed this dress. And also invented DUI laws. -- You fiend!
Continue Reading " Cheryl Cole: 'Hey. Are my breasts hanging out?' "
Jul 2 2009 Debbie Rowe wants the kids and restraining order against Joe Jackson
Debbie Rowe has thrown down the gauntlet and plans to seek custody of Michael Jr. and Paris who she maintains are her biological children. NBC Los Angeles reports:
"I want my children," Rowe said during a 90-minute phone conversation Thursday morning with NBCLA's Chuck Henry.
She said she would seek a restraining order to keep Jackson's father, Joe Jackson, away from the children. The agreement does allow for visitation, but Rowe said it's a very difficult process. She said if she misses a visitation date, it is difficult to reschedule with the Jacksons.
"I am stepping up," Rowe said. "I have to."
Rowe said she was still grieving. She said she decided she had to seek custody after Jackson's death.
"We had an agreement... he didn't keep his end," Rowe said, referring to Jackson's death.
Rowe said she was concerned about splitting up the children. She said she did not expect the court to grant custody of the third child, but added that she would be willing to accept custody.
Okay, I understand Debbie wants to be with her children, but she's overreacting a little bit over Joe Jackson. I mean, once you look past the facial mutilation and pedophilia, Michael Jackson grew up to be one of the most influential musicians of a generation. Who died at 50 from a fatal addiction to medication specifically reserved for knocking out people for surgery. But, again, besides that stuff...
Jul 2 2009 Jessica Simpson had to throw off some golf games
These are shots of Jessica Simpson singing the National Anthem and signing autographs at the AT&T National yesterday which Tony Romo participated in. I have absolutely zero patience for golf, so hats off to Tony for being able to concentrate on his game while Jessica's chest essentially blocked out the sun. A lesser man would've tried to stick it in her back nine. Ha! Get it? Golf humor! Trust me, that would've killed if you're over 60. Or a doctor.
Continue Reading " Jessica Simpson had to throw off some golf games "
Jul 2 2009 Hayden Panettiere is single
- Hayden Panettiere and Steve Jones are no longer a couple. Turns out he's a womanizer, and she can not only see through keyholes but fit through them and say "Hey, why are you sleeping with that hooker?" [The Blemish]
- Khloe Kardashian might pose for Playboy. Hey, they're doing lame no-nudity shoots now, so Yeti porn is the next logical step. [Celebslam]
- Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry's looks defy all logic and reason. But not gravity. Because they're lazy. [Lainey Gossip]
- Angelina Jolie earned more money than Jennifer Aniston last year. And also has sex with Brad Pitt. In case she forgot. [Just Jared]
- Gisele Bundchen is like a baby bump-covering ninja. Wouldn't it be hot if her nipples shot throwing stars? At Tom Brady's face, I mean. [PopSugar]
- Rihanna's in trouble with the NYC Health Department for tattooing three people without a license last night at a tattoo parlor. I wonder who tipped them off.... [ICYDK]
Jul 2 2009 Gary Coleman has a shitty life
Gary Coleman's 23-year-old bride Shannon Price decided it was time for an old-fashioned midget smackdown and was arrested for domestic violence last night. TMZ reports:
According to the sheriff's website, Shannon Price was booked for the two misdemeanors at 8:32 PM and then released on $1,205 bond.
Cops tell us Shannon allegedly broke household items belonging to Gary and that he was not physically harmed.
I love how the police are obviously covering for him because it sucks enough that he's Gary Coleman, so why let everybody know his wife used him as a human kickball until he bounced into the cordless phone and dialed 911 while careening off the oven? Give the poor man-ball some privacy.
Jul 2 2009 Bianca Gascoigne in a bikini
Here's British model/reality star Bianca Gascoigne tanning at Nikki Beach this week. I don't know much about her except she's in a bikini. Oh, and wears a hat. She wears a hat. See? I noticed something besides her breasts. Sure, it took me five ten 24 hours to do so, but the important thing is I noticed. Eventually.
Jul 2 2009 Megan Fox & Zac Efron probably had sex this week
Well, it finally happened. Megan Fox and Zac Efron were spotted on a date Tuesday night which means either Vanessa Hudgens is going to kill somebody or give Shia LaBeouf the hairiest chipmunk fuck of his life. It's a toss up. Celebuzz reports:
The 23-year-old stunner shared an intimate dinner with Zac Efron on Tuesday night at Pace, an upscale restaurant in Laurel Canyon, California, Celebuzz can exclusively report.
A fellow diner revealed, "They were very friendly and their faces were close when they talked."
It's no secret that the Transformers 2 actress has had a thing for the 21-year-old High School Musical heartthrob for quite some time. As we reported back in January, the two flirted at the Golden Globe Awards, raising eyebrows at an after-party.
Okay, I've made some "Zac Efron is gay" jokes in my day, but if he pulled this off, I have to give credit where credit is due. Obviously, these are two of the most beautiful in Hollywood, so I'm pretty sure if they had sex thousands of tiny angels appeared and guided Zac's penis into Megan. Or at least that's what happens when I make love. Ladies?
Scope Out (12) Pics of Megan & Zac After the Jump
Continue Reading " Megan Fox & Zac Efron probably had sex this week "
Jul 2 2009 Bradley Cooper bags another actress
Bradley Cooper apparently got what he wanted from Jennifer Aniston and has moved on to his next cougar: Renee Zellweger. The two were spotted having a romantic dinner Tuesday night in Manhattan, according to OK! Magazine:
"Throughout the dinner they were playful and flirty," a witness tells OK!. "She played with her hair a lot, and she would often touch his arm when she was making a point about something." The lucky celeb-spotter also reveals to OK! that Renée even leaned forward across the table on a few occasions to play with his napkin.
"At one point, he seemed to want to whisper something to her as if it were a secret," says the diner. "He spoke into her ear and then they both started giggling."
Perhaps not wanting the night to end too quickly, the pair remained at their table, sipping tea and chatting long after they finished their food.
When the check arrived, sources tell OK! that both Brad and Renée reached for it. "She told him she wanted to buy him dinner to pay him back for something," says the witness. "And when he opened the check, it already had her card in it!" We're told this little surprise caused Brad to blurt out, "You [expletive]-er!"
So am I to assume that Bradley Cooper is getting paid to have sex with older actresses? Because unless a Camaro drove out out of his steak that dude just got ripped off. Not that I'm saying Renee Zellweger is horribly unattractive. Just abrasive. To the eyes. That's all.
Jul 1 2009 Bar Refaeli's Naked Video
Nobody has a clue, or honestly gives a fuck, where this mysterious video of a naked Bar Refaeli came from today because it's Bar Refaeli naked. To put things in perspective, if someone asked me "Hey, want to see a naked video of Bar Refaeli?", I'm not going to hem and haw and ask "Hmm. In what context?" I don't care if the entire backdrop ended up being my grandfather's windsock of a penis, I'd watch like it was the goddamn moon landing. That's called heroism, kids. You can't teach that.
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions of heavenly assness.
