Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which, after today, will be compiled by my kid. It was a decision made after long thought about his skills and abilities like not having to live in our pool house anymore. And he’s smart, yes of course, that too, but I digress. Today’s gallery includes Alec Baldwin, virile man of youthful strength, Prince Harry about to fistfight an infant, mini Ron Burgundy, and this woman experiencing the perplexing sensation of her uterus suddenly filling up with fetuses.
I’m kidding about that ‘my kid’ stuff up there. Through psychoanalysis, I’ve learned that me fathering children would just be a disaster for everyone involved,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INF Daily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Without question, Justin Bieber is a little asshole, but sometimes it’s nice to hear it from other people besides me carving it into the side of a national monument. (Until tomorrow, Mr. Lincoln.) So here’s Jon Bon Jovi doing just that. Via Page Six:
In March, the 19-year-old teen heartthrob was met with a chorus of boos after he turned up nearly two hours late for his London O2 Arena concert.
“Every generation has guys that do that, none of that is new,” Bon Jovi told the London Evening Standard.
“They run the risk of disrespecting their audience members who have worked hard to pay for their ticket, to give you the permission to take two or three hours of their lives — or in that kid’s case, 80 minutes of their lives,” the frontman said.
“Do it once, you can be forgiven. Do it enough times and shame on you. They won’t have you back,” Bon Jovi continued. “Then it just becomes a cliché. It’s really not cool — you’re an a–hole. Go to [bleepin’] work!”
Apparently, Bon Jovi missed the Maple Christ’s edict that “This bull should not be spoken of,” so I hope he enjoys spending the rest of eternity in polite Canadian hellfire.
“Begging your pardon, Mr. Bon Jovi, sir, but would you mind terribly if I stabbed you with a pitchfork now?”
“Not today, demon. I’m feeling a bit crampy.”
“Sorry to hear, sir. So just fresh water again then is it?”
“If you don’t mind.”
“Please, I insist.”
You goddamn socialist bastards, WHERE DOES IT END?
Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News
The blink-and-you-miss-it scene where Alice Eve strips down to her underwear and changes into her space suit in the same shuttle as Captain Kirk was one of the rare incredible parts of Star Trek Into Darkness, so of course writer Damon Lindelof is apologizing for it now and wishes it never happened because your crushed nerd-dreams are his food:
- I copped to the fact that we should have done a better job of not being gratuitous in our representation of a barely clothed actress.
- We also had Kirk shirtless in underpants in both movies. Do not want to make light of something that some construe as mysogenistic.
- What I’m saying is I hear you, I take responsibility and will be more mindful in the future.
- Also, I need to learn how to spell “misogynistic.”
And while this doesn’t bode well for the probably J.J. Abrams-less Star Trek III, it was however in reference to Lindelof’s Grantland interview where he makes it clear he has nothing to do with Star Wars: Episode VII. So I guess that makes up for not seeing Alice Eve’s boobs in space again. *looks down at penis wearing Vulcan ears* Seriously? This is that big of a deal to you that you’re going to make me say it? Goddammit.
Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
[Insert Zuul joke here.]
January Jones recently sat down for an interview with The New York Times where naturally she comes off bitchier than an ice storm made of bitch and ice, but she also surprisingly – albeit inadvertently – reveals the deep commentary Mad Men is making on how the American family has became an almost empty experience that we’re constantly trying to fill with material possessions and/or heightened interpersonal drama. But enough fancy words, she also says thing about who squirted in her hoo-ha making a spite baby.
The Superficial: Intellectual. Enlightened. Penis in Vagina.
January Jones’ New York Times Interview After The Jump
One of the few things Michael Bay does right is to cast incredibly hot women in movies and then prove he’s willing to risk tanking an entire third movie by un-casting them if they call him Hitler and don’t follow directions. Directions like looking fucking awesome in tight jeans which you’ll notice Megan Fox dutifully doing on the set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yesterday. You’ll also notice she’s walking around with Raphael, so hopefully this time we’ll get to see one of the Turtles bang April just like my figures used to. (Note to Parents: If you give your child action figures, buy at least one villain. Otherwise, he’ll grow up and write stuff like this. You don’t want this.)
Photos: INF Daily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Nepotism is a tricky move to pull off because it’s almost always a sure-fire way to immediately lose the trust and respect of your employees even though they’ll go to extreme lengths to hide that fact from you while secretly getting their resume ready before you can replace them with your cousin. My point is you gotta handle these things delicately. Or not at all because, hey, fuck it, you’re rich. Right, Jann Wenner? Right. Gawker reports:
Date: Monday, May 20, 2013 2:52 PM
Subject: Gus Wenner
David Kang and I are very pleased —and I am very proud —to announce that Gus Wenner, after leading the re-launch re-design effort for our website, will now continue by heading up the overall operations of RollingStone.com.
That would be an email from the Rolling Stone owner to his staff letting them all know that he just made his 22-year-old son Gus Wenner the head of RollingStone.com six days before his college commencement. Fortunately for everyone at Rolling Stone, Gus has experience being in an alt-country band with Scout Willis, and I’m pretty sure he can find the “Publish” button on Matt Taibbi’s posts. It’ll be fine.