Whatever ‘Party Down South’ Is, They’re In Bikinis

October 2nd, 2014 // 2 Comments

We’ve spent all morning talking about crazy people, and yes, that includes anyone willing to birth Ashton Kutcher‘s baby, so for change of scenery even though I have no clue what Party Down South is, here are some hot, sexy bikini ba- *actually looks at more than just the first pic* – Fucking shit.

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Photos: Fame/Flynet

Amanda Bynes Is Tweeting Again (Probably)

October 2nd, 2014 // 2 Comments
Everything Is Awful Again
Amanda Bynes Wig Dog
But She's Not Crazy, You Guys! Read More »

When all of this Amanda Bynes business started back up again, probably the most prevalent words out of everyone’s mouths were, “Well, at least she’s not tweeting again.” She’s tweeting again. Styleite via Jezebel:

“Ashley Banks” or @persianla27 has been rumored for a while to be a poorly disguised alias, and has been relentlessly tweeting increasingly disturbing shit in the months preceding Bynes’ arrest (along with #TBT pics of the star from her 2013 glory days.) There’s also a Tumblr linked under the same name, and a weird Instagram and Facebook page.

Here are just a few of the most recent tweets from @PersianLa27 which, in fairness, could just as easily be written by me or anyone even remotely familiar with Amanda Bynes: More »

Wait. Back It Up. Charlie Sheen Goes To The Dentist?

October 2nd, 2014 // 11 Comments
'Wanna See My Tattoos?'
Charlie Sheen Drunk Taco Bell
A Free Charlie Sheen With Every Chalupa Read More »

When we last left Charlie Sheen he was drunkenly approaching random strangers in a Taco Bell drive-thru and showing them his tattoos, and now comes word that he allegedly pulled a knife on his dentist after taking nitrous oxide while high on cocaine. And, yes, I know that the real news is that Charlie Sheen actually goes to a dentist. I said it right in the fucking headline. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell us … Charlie was at an L.A. dental office last Thursday for an abscess. He sat in the chair as the dental technician placed a mask over his face to administer nitrous oxide, when she says Charlie went insane … flailing his arms and striking her.
The technician told cops she walked out of the room as Charlie’s security guard entered. Charlie’s personal dentist was there along with the oral surgeon. There was a lot of commotion and the technician says when Charlie’s dentist finally came out he told her Charlie pulled a knife and went after him. The dentist wasn’t hurt.
The technician also told cops the bodyguard told the dentist Charlie was high on rock cocaine.

As for why the bodyguard would even need to tell the dentist Charlie is coked out of his mind, it’s written right here in his chart in permanent marker, I’m going to assume this happened:

“Shit, how did I end up at the dentist? I need to take these fuckers out before they come at me with a drill. Quick, think of a cover story.”
“You’re high on coke?”
“I like it. *pulls knife* STAY OUT OF MY MOUTH, YOU PUTRID PILE OF COLGATE SLUDGE! I’M A TRUTH BOMB! BLAH! RAWR! CRAZY WORDS! RANDOM ANIMAL BLOOD!”

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Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN

Mila Kunis Is The Mother of Ashton Kutcher’s Baby

October 2nd, 2014 // 5 Comments

Over the weekend, George Clooney got married, and now People reports Mila Kunis gave birth to a baby girl whose father is Ashton Kutcher, so good game, everybody. We had a good run. If you’ll quietly remain seated, a demon should be around shortly to bathe this world in ash and hellfire.

UPDATE: Never mind. It’s only taking selfies with Selena Gomez. False alarm!

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Photos: Getty / Fame/Flynet

Lisa Opie Is Bendy And Other News

October 2nd, 2014 // 8 Comments

- Ethan Hawke might be Dr. Strange now. [Lainey Gossip]

- Ariana Grande is “honored” to be called a giant pain in the ass. [Dlisted]

- Why Would You Ever Get Out of Bed? [theCHIVE]

- Snooki will describe child birth now. [Fishwrapper]

- AnonIB has a huge fucking date rape problem. [The Frisky]

- I miss Joanna Krupa‘s backyard. [WWTDD]

- Prince just trolled the shit out of Facebook. [Death and Taxes]

- Nina Agdal‘s in a bikini again. [Popoholic]

- The time Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet crashed a frat party. [tooFab]

- Not Megan Fox is looking good. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kelly Brook still has huge, giant breasts. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

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Photos: Splash News

The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 10.1.14

October 1st, 2014 // 320 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, the post that truly has something for everyone, starting with The Younger Jenner Child (frames that a little differently, huh?) for the Hansen crowd, Joanna Krupa for the Joe six-pack pervs, Nick Cannon being abducted by Mariah Carey‘s henchman (or ISIS, either way is a plus for humanity) for the gore porn fanatics, and finally, some man candy for the ladies and Fish gents who prefer that sort of thing.

Oh shit, sorry, that was supposed to be soaking wet Channing Tatum in the present, not twenty years from now. My bad,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

Justin Bieber Ditched Selena Gomez For The Kardashians

October 1st, 2014 // 18 Comments
You Let Him Near Models?
Justin Bieber Strips Underwear Fashion Rocks
Have You Learned Nothing?! Read More »

So here’s how Selena Gomez‘s trip to Paris Fashion Week went:

1. Before, or as soon as, she got there, Justin Bieber checked into a hotel with Kendall Jenner.
2. When she showed up to the same show as him later, he spent the entire time with the Kardashians.
And 3. When she gave up and went to a show by herself, she ran into Miranda Kerr, and here’s a reminder why that had to be awkward as shit.

If only there were some sort of common factor she could eliminate from her life to prevent these things from happening. Something she could easily discard like a bag full of vinegar and water. Think, dammit, think…

Photos: Getty, Splash News

Diddy: ‘Jennifer Lopez’s Ass Is A Work of Art, Kim Kardashian’s Isn’t’

October 1st, 2014 // 20 Comments
JLo Got Rear-Ended
Jennifer Lopez Leah Remini
Not Like That. Settle Down. Read More »

Diddy, or Puff Daddy, or whatever the fuck he’s called now (I vote for “Piffy.”) stopped by Access Hollywood yesterday where he referred to Jennifer Lopez’s ass as a “work of art” before completely writing off Kim Kardashian‘s as nothing special:

“[Her booty] is great. It’s a work of art. It’s something that will go down in history. Also her talent, her drive, her determination,” he added. “She will never give up. She’s a great friend of mine… that thing is just incredible.”
When asked if Kim Kardashian’s butt lives up to J.Lo’s, Diddy responded with an emphatic “no way!”
“No disrespect Kanye and Kim, but that thing right there is something special,” he said, still watching “Booty.”

In fairness, Diddy said all this while watching the “Booty” video, so he probably would’ve said the same thing about food and water if not breathing altogether. “No disrespect to oxygen, but that thing right there’s all I need in my lungs. — Mothafucka, I ain’t joking! Get me a snorkel!”

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