The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 2.21

May 19th, 2012 // 51 Comments

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet where I’m starting to realize Alan Moore references have become the new Star Wars jokes. I’ll allow it. On that note, it’s nice to see Sean Connery make his first appearance even if the comment is little on the nose, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t look like he’s saying it or getting ready to swiftly apply his hand to a woman’s bottom for daring to interrupt man talk. Probably both.

*makes note to call Photo Boy “Miss Moneypenny” from here on out*

- The Superficial

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Photo: Fame/Flynet

The Crap We Missed – Friday 5.18.12

May 18th, 2012 // 691 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed where we see Lena Dunhan, self-proclaimed “voice of her generation,” and that voice apparently says, “You know what? I earned these chili fries….” We’ve also got Joshua Jackson letting us all know it’s ok to just stare directly at them, or desperately search for them in the case of Jada Pinkett Smith. And finally there’s the Richard Dean Anderson pic that saddens me to even include it, knowing that I’m essentially tossing a beloved character from my childhood to the internet wolves.

Sorry Mac,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

Oh, Hey, Rihanna’s Butt. Long Time, No See.

May 18th, 2012 // 30 Comments
Jurassic Park
Rihanna Topless Bikini Painted
Rihanna's Boobs Are Dinosaurs Read More »

When I referenced Rihanna‘s butt earlier in the Terry Richardson/Jared Leto post that should really be an indicator of how barely being able to see through a celebrity’s clothes is like goddamn manna from heaven today, I had no idea it’d show up in my feeds. So here she is last night clearly not wearing any underwear for reasons I’ll just assume involve Chris Brown really hating non-garmented female genitalia. That can’t be far off.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

Terry Richardson Really Likes Taking Pictures of Jared Leto

May 18th, 2012 // 36 Comments

When bros like Photo Boy and myself hang out, it’s almost a guarantee we’ll snap black and white photos of each others ponytails, or “Bronytails,” as we like to call them if he doesn’t mind me sharing our secret language we invented late one night eating S’mores. (Best Giggle Party ever!) So it’s kind of cool seeing famed photographer Terry Richardson take what has to be a much-needed break from shooting awesome celebrity tits to spend some quality time with his bro Jared Leto. It kind of makes you feel like maybe Hollywood really isn’t that different from the rest of us once you look past all the prosthetic nipples and possibly ironic, possibly not decisions to look like a pedophile. That’s just how they say hello.

Photos: Terry’s Diary

The LeAnn Rimes, Brandi Glanville Feud Doesn’t Look Out of Hand At All

May 18th, 2012 // 34 Comments

Last week, Brandi Glanville revealed in an interview with some obscure Australian magazine that she wanted to kill LeAnn Rimes, which prompted LeAnn to immediately act scared for her life and latch onto the free publicity even though it didn’t involve wearing a bikini. So, of course, yesterday she Tweeted pics of herself at the shooting range, most likely to let Brandi know that firing a gun surprisingly won’t snap LeAnn’s arms right the fuck off. Which is honestly a smart move because I would’ve counted on the same thing in my murder plans. “Let’s see, waltz into her house, wait for kickback to send bullet into the ceiling as her arms splinter like dry bamboo shoots, apply murder to face, frame Eddie and BOOM. Time for pedis.”

Photos: Twitter

The Police Seem Really Concerned With Finding Nick Stahl

May 18th, 2012 // 26 Comments
Have You Seen Me?
Nick Stahl
Nick Stahl Is Missing Read More »

“See? We found this picture of him on the Internet with his kindly, cigar-smoking grandfather. Nuttin’ to worry about.”

According to his estranged wife who doesn’t want him anywhere near their daughter until he cleans himself up, Nick Stahl has been missing since May 9, although friends claim to have seen him more recently and say he has a history of just disappearing. Which probably explains why the lead investigator literally told People he’s not even looking for him:

“Were not treating it like a crime,” says LAPD Detective Carmine Sasso, who is overseeing the investigation. “We’re not pounding the pavement or knocking on doors on this one, just networking.”

“Certain factors are contributing to him being missing,” says Sasso. “There’s really nothing mysterious about it,” he adds.

“That said, I will tell you about a high profile case that’s really mysterious: Does Detective Sasso want Chinese for lunch or Subway? *picks up phone* ‘Ello, crime lab? It’s Sasso. Just how long are you gonna make me wait for that report on how much I like sesame chicken? We’re burning daylight here.”

Photo: Getty

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