Woody Allen Can Write Open Letters, Too

Last week, Dylan Farrow wrote an open letter in the New York Times detailing for the first time her allegations of sexual abuse at the hands of Woody Allen which extended far beyond the attic incident his team had almost successfully reduced down to so it could be easily dismissed. A tactic that Woody Allen himself tried again in his open letter in the Times that was published Friday officially making The Grey Lady the paper of choice for adoptive incest squabbles. So here’s a link to that because I’m not excerpting his horseshit:

Woody Allen Speaks Out – NYTimes.com

And because Woody Allen and his team still think they’re living in a pre-Internet, early 90s world where information isn’t readily available to disrupt their narrative, this thing is epically blowing up in his face as outlet after outlet has found major discrepancies besides the fact his main defense is Mia Farrow’s a slut. Discrepancies like his claim that he passed a lie detector test except not the one requested by the Connecticut State Police but one administered by his own team. Or the fact that it’d be “sheer illogic” to start a career as a child molestor when he was in the “blissful early stages of a happy new relationship” with the woman he’d go on to marry. “Why molest one of Mia’s adopted daughters when I was already dating the other one?” is what Woody Allen literally just said here because, really, the whole letter is insane hubris that basically breaks down to, “Of course I didn’t do these things because I’m Woody Allen and I’m telling you I didn’t,” as if that’s all the proof in the world. He might as well have just wrote, “Okay, I know this looks bad, but have you guys seen this Daily Beast article? Holy shit,” and at least been on par with the Internet detectives waving it around like they found the fucking Lindbergh baby. They probably would’ve made him their king.

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