Wolf Blitzer Is A F*cking Idiot

May 22nd, 2013 // 117 Comments
Wolf Blitzer Athiest Oklahoma Tornado
WATCH: Wolf Blitzer Finds An Atheist In A Foxhole

Now that it’s time to pick the news-meat off the bones of the Oklahoma tornado survivors, above is Wolf Blitzer not even entertaining the thought that maybe everybody in America isn’t a Christian – Or in light of recent events, might have rationally and logically thought, “Wait, if God is real, why did He just plow history’s largest tornado through an elementary school? Those were perfectly un-aborted kids!” – because he asked a woman not once, but twice if she “thanked the Lord” only to have her politely reply that she’s an atheist, and then show incredible poise and respect for anyone who did thank the Christian God. Granted, Wolf was in a red state that doesn’t want Big Government telling them to put safe rooms in their houses or schools, so the odds were with him, but that’s the kind of gross, overly-broad (and apparently wrong) generalization I’d make in heartbeat, so right away you can see how badly he fucked up here.


  1. CptCreep

    She’s an atheist activist. I have no doubt in my mind that Wolf knew this going in and wanted to troll for a reaction.

  2. I’ll never understand the cognitive dissonance required to thank god for letting your dog survive a tornado, but not have a few pointed questions to ask the bastard about all the children he just killed.

  3. We just don’t know all the details yet. Perhaps the people He killed wore clothes made with a mix of wool and linen.

  4. LilDeuceDeuce

    I’m also an atheist and find it annoying when dogma is shoved down your throat, so I was getting ready in advance to hate on Wolf Blitzer. But I think in this case, it was more a figure of speech than anything confrontational. I’d call him an idiot if he tried to fight with the woman after she admitted she’s an atheist, but he just laughs it off that small awkward moment and doesn’t press the issue, so I don’t think he was out of line here.

    • I’m an atheist, but I reflexively say stuff like “goddamnit’ and “jesus-faggot-fucking-christ” all the time.

      • If anyone should be saying stuff like “goddamnit” and “jesus fucking christ” all the time, it’s atheists. The rest of you aren’t supposed to be taking your lord’s name in vain.

    • Agreed, I didn’t find it at all offensive or indicative of Wolf being a fucking idiot. I mean, he might be, but this is certainly not compelling evidence of that. The man is doing live interviews during a natural disaster. Give him a break. He wasn’t a dick and it’s something that people say. Kudos to that lady for being a class act.

      • He was being a dick because it’s a stupid fucking question to ask in the first place. If people want to say that particular phrase, they’ll say it, and it – or any other phrase – doesn’t need to be elicited from a reporter in this way. Any decent interviewer doesn’t front-load their own quotes, nor do they put their own personal shit into a question and then try to get the interviewee to agree with it, because then you’re hearing all about the reporter’s POV and not the subjects’.

        Blitzer sounds like he’s planning to apply for a job as “The Lord’s” social secretary and is already checking to see that all those thank-you notes are gonna get written.

  5. Tronald Dump

    Miranda Kerr’s tit was a lot more interesting than your take on theology.

  6. Wow playing the religion card on something so horrible,WTF?
    Chiil out like the cool mother and cute kid, they are just happy to survive.

  7. No basements? How could someone not believe in having a basement?

  8. ThisWillHurt

    “Have you taken a moment to thank God Almighty for sparing your life to further praise his name?”
    “Actually, no. I’m an atheist.”
    “Ah HA! So the tornado was YOUR fault! BURN THE WITCH!”

  9. That was always my thought also. You always see idiots thanking God or praying to God after a tragedy like this or the Boston Bombing or Sandy Hook, but they never seem to ask the question why the same God allowed something like that to happen in the first place, or in fact may have caused it in the first place.

    If you are going to assume and presume that their is a God, and that he is as powerful as you think he is, then you have to ask yourself why he would allow the deaths of thousands of people everyday, especially innocent little kids and in violent and horrible ways.

    I for one don’t discount that their may be a God or some other powerful sentient being out there, I just don’t think he might be as good as people think he is.

    • I can only give you my personal view on this. Granted, I haven’t exactly suffered a lot in my life, so I haven’t really faced this kind of test of faith – so take it for what it’s worth.

      “For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:11

      Essentially, if there was a being so almighty and powerful, omniscient and omnipresent, how could we with our comparatively limited minds and experience comprehend the thought processes of such a being? And for the sake of discussion, you can substitute whatever you want in that being’s place – God, Allah, aliens, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc. – and I think the argument still holds water.

    • Maybe since humans are not the only thing in the entire universe, you’re not as important as you think you are, and the mechanisms of the universe, time and space require some folks to get chopped up under the wheels of time, space and the universe every now and then to keep things spinning around like they need to.

      • How do you know this, did God tell you this himself? :)
        Since the argument is that God created us in his likeness, I would argue that humans are in fact damn fucking important.

      • Also, a hardcore fundamentalist Christian will tell you that there is no intelligent life outside Earth, because then Jesus would have to be reborn on each and every one of those planets so he could die for their sins and be resurrected. Seriously. I heard a guy say this on a religion show.

      • I’m a fan of the theory that man created God in his own image.

    • DON Q

      or maybe your simple and narrow ideas of “good” is what is off. And trying to find fault with the creator of the universe for a tornado in Tornado Alley where these people chose to live is stupid. We have a free will, don’t blame God as an excuse. God created you into this world and will call you back. Yet every time Fish pushes this faithless bullsh!t so every moron jumps up with ” yeah there is no god” like athiests know a damn thing. That’s why this world is turning to sh!t. Self centered, ego driven, materialist douches that think they know better than God.

      • Why did God create Tornado Alley? Why did God create tornadoes? Why did he create hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, psychos that shoot up schools and movie theaters? I’ll let you keep digging your hole.

        Lot of people were killed, enslaved, tortured, raped and the list goes on in the name of God in those good old days of Christianity that you speak of.

      • Look, just read the Book of Job, because that “argument” that explains why shitty things happen arbitrarily to good people who do all the right things was already dealt with back in the good old days of the Babylonian captivity.

        What constantly amuses me is that most Christian leaders like Falwell and Robertson clearly haven’t read it, since they insist on blaming pagans, lesbians, gay men and who knows what the fuck for “God” punishing America every time there’s a natural disaster or man-made tragedy.

      • FYI, DON Q, for you to proclaim that the world is “turning to sh!t” because of “self-centered, ego-driven, materialistic douches that think they know better than God”, means that you’re the one who’s decided that you actually know what God’s thinking, and that He’s punishing everyone for being self-centered, etc. Ergo, you’re actually the one who’s demonstrating the temerity to presume to know what’s in the mind of that Almighty. The world was never supposed to be anything other than a place of pain and “sh!t” – if you were paying attention, you’d know that your faith tells you that it’s the next world that’s supposed to be free of all that, not this one. F- for your religious comprehension skills.

        “Free will” actually has fuck-all to do with how most of us unwillingly check out of life, and declaring that anyone who “chose to live” in OK is directly responsible for their own death rather than entertain some very human questioning as to whether God exists is what makes smugly sanctimonious fucks like you so massively annoying. Doubt is a necessary component of faith – that’s what makes it faith, not fact.

        And really, do you think because you substituted a “!” it’s somehow less heinous than actually typing “shit”? You’re already going to hell for that anyway, so grow a pair, fer chrissakes.

        Also, it’s “atheists”. Fucking get it right next time.

    • As a socialist nazi buddhist communist, do I have a say in any of this?

  10. Jack

    What’s the big f’en deal? Superficial writer and other idiotic commentators need to chill the F out.

    Wow, so in the wake of tragedy, reporting from the field, emotions high, Wolf Blitz assumed that she was a Christian (which appx. 75% in US are Christians)… He made a slight azz out of himself, and hopefully learned he shouldn’t assume such in the future (even though 75% of the time, he would have been right).

    Wolf if not an A-hole, or atheist hater, or biggot. Irony is, media such as Superficial is acting like mainstream media and making this into something it’s not.

    End of story. There is no story. Nothing to speak of further. Period.

    • It’s the GAYS! And the LESBIANS! God smote Oklahoma (of all places) for all of the carnal sins of the world.
      Thus sayeth the Lord: “If thou put thine wiener in that guy’s pie-hole or his poop-chute one more time, I’m going to give your neighbor’s child club feet! That ought to show them.”
      Remember the words of the Lord — NO BUTT FUCKING ALLOWED!

      • The Illuminati Did It!

        Nah. I’m pretty sure it was the shitty strippers. The sky god does not like to waste his dollars.

    • Well if Blitzer would lose that blank look he perpetually has, all of us wouldn’t so quickly assume he’s an idiot.

    • Pixie

      While I don’t think Wolf was *trying* to be an asshole; I don’t really think it was appropriate of him to ask her such a front loaded question; “Do you thank the Lord?” How is that any “jounalist’s” business? I have no problem with people thanking the lord or allah or the FSM, but it is highly inappropriate to put her on the spot like that. It reminds me of going to family reunions and my holy rolling relatives asking me which part of the Bible was my favorite. heh Now imagine that awkwardness x 1000000 since she was on TV. She seemed almost apologetic about being an atheist because she knew it made him look like an idiot.

  11. Cock Dr

    In a world where being an atheist can get you killed, hassled and run out of town, in a country where being an atheist pretty much disqualifies you from any elected office, I sincerely hope that this woman isn’t fucked with for coming out.
    Something tells me that OK may not be a bastion of tolerance for those who don’t embrace Christ da lord.
    Surprise me America. Play nice this time.

  12. Jack

    Too pussy to post my comment?

    • You mean the one above Cock Dr?

      • imho, you replying to user posts is alot like the wackos that own that restaurant featured on Hell’s Kitchen who feel some compulsion to reply to everything anybody says about them. Everybody liked Oz until he came out from behind the curtain.

      • I like Fish popping in once in a while. It gives the column more of a human feel. Stick with us, Fish. You can straighten out some of these dick biters…(I don’t mean YOU, schmidtler. I mean dick biters in general.

      • The_Ouroboros

        I’ve been here for years, and it thrills me when Fish lets us know his real thoughts. I appreciate the hell out of this site, and when people come here just to pick something inane to bitch about it makes me wonder what their end game is. What’s the point?

      • Khrist Kardashian

        I like when you post, too. I thought this site was ran by a monkey until yesterday, so my dreams are dashed a little… but, shit happens.

      • You should mean him, but that’s aside the point. I like having Fish around too, keep commenting.

      • Maybe we should take it easy on schmidtler. He hasn’t had the opportunity in a while to carp at Fish for not being able to say the n-word here, so he has to find some other reason to go after him.

      • I’m reading a couple of new comics thanks to Fish replying to posts, so I’d like to see him keep doing it.

  13. cc

    This tornado provided bible thumpers with a glorious opportunity to spout their customary shit about God. Some people survive in spite of everything. ‘Thank God’. How about all the people that didn’t? Like the kids in the school? Did they incur the wrath of God somehow, and deserve it? Ah yes, ‘God works in mysterious ways.’

    I tell you what doesn’t work in mysterious ways…SCIENCE. Because science was what provided these people with enough warning to go for cover.

    And a big thanks to this woman for not going all hypocrite on national tv. I hope that if this happens to me I’ll say ‘God’s an asshole and Jesus was history’s first zombie. Fuck you Wolf.’

    • DON Q

      People died, but so will all of us. These children were made by God so why is them dying because of his wrath. Seems to me like you have creator issues. And as far as science goes, humans know no more about the works of universe than 10,000 years ago. All science is is a partial and primitive theory of how God created the universe. For as much as science can prove, why can most of these answers not be replicated.

      • But what if “God” hadn’t invented science? Then we’d really be clueless.

      • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

        Science definitely did not lead to the development of microelectronics and computers and the Internet… and we are not really communicating via devices that count on experimentally validated theories of natural laws, with reproducible results. And all of this stuff that doesn’t exist was well known 10,000 years ago, before we had written language.

        Here’s a repeatable experiment: Shit in one hand and pray into the other, tell me which one fills up faster.

        Just because you don’t understand science doesn’t mean it’s not correct, jerk-off.

      • DON Q, not too smart, are we? You THINK he has creator issues??? You THINK? cc believes in science, like most intelligent, none religion indoctrinated people do. We know no more about the universe that we did 10,000 years ago? Get outta here, you have got to be kidding me, people use to think the earth was FLAT, so I believe we may have learned a thing or two. So if you believe in God (and btw, more and more people are turning away from the hypocripsy of religion), you think it was OKAY for little children to die just because he created them? I will never understand why people believe something so unfathomable, so unsubstantiated and so ridiculous. You think science is partial? …. and religion isn’t??? (shakes head)

        ManWhoHasSeenAVagina…love your closing remark!

      • The bible doesn’t mention anything about thesuperficial, so therefore thesuperficial doesn’t exist.


        *watches hands disappear, then arms, legs, bod-

  14. Jesusisacunt

    ‘No, that’s okay Wolf, I’ll thank the weather advisory and my quick thinking, you idiot.’

  15. jason

    if this is the worst thing on cnn today, then it isnt such a bad day

  16. cc

    ”To what do you credit your survival?”
    ‘I clung to my golden calf.’

  17. The Illuminati Did It!

    What pisses me off is Blitzer’s arrogance. How in the hell can you assume that every single white American woman is a christian! I think the problem in this country (and a specific problem with the right wing) is the sense of entitlement christians seems to have in this country. This isn’t 1950 anymore and not everyone born here believes that horse shit.

  18. Deacon Jones

    55 People Die Horrible Deaths – “The Lord works in mysterious ways”

    1 Person Survives – “It’s a miracle!”

  19. Waaaa a aa a a a A A Aa aaaaaaa is all I see here.
    a) the soil there, like much of Texas, is clay and flexes a huge amount as it rapidly expands and shrinks when it gets wet then dries. The water table is extremely high because we are not very much above sea level and the basement will flood. Building a basement is a complicated engineering job and incredibly expensive.

    b) the same clever commenters saying “HUR HUR STUPID PEOPLE! WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A BASEMENT?” are the same ones smugly asking how people could still thank God after something like this. One question is as idiotic as the other because neither one are questions. Like with the basement thing, you are just asking EACH OTHER, so you’re not really asking anything, you’re just having a faux-intellectual circle jerk. Has anybody ever actually asked a believer this question? Usually when somebody has a question, they seek an answer. It probably wouldn’t be too much harder to get an answer from somebody about the God thing than to google “why are there no basements in Moore?” But then you might not feel as superior, and feeling superior is fun!

    I did laugh a whole bunch at “coming out” as an atheist, so thanks for that. That’s hilarious. WAAAAAAAAAA WAAA A aa a a aaaaaaaaaa

    • So do you have a basement or not?

    • You seem to have given this a lot of thought.

    • Jenny

      You seem like the type of person who would worship a God.

      • Jenny

        Moore, OK has been hit with 22 tornadoes. It’s not like you are debating whether to build a basement in Arizona. It’s a matter of life or death – suck it up and pay the bill, or live somewhere else.

      • Jenny, do your research. It’s also not completely about paying the bill. Most of the soil in OK doesn’t allow for it. It’s too damp. As for living somewhere else, there are 6-10 states in Tornado Alley that get hit regularly with tornadoes. Should the population of those entire states just be moved elsewhere?

      • Jenny,
        say you are getting your first starter house at 75,000 dollars and you want a basement in Oklahoma and find out it will cost more the 75,000 your house is worth you’re wanting to buy and 5 sump pumps you hope will work so you don’t drown, you’ve prices yourself out of a house, so what do you do? go live in an apartment or take your chances in the house without a basement? I’ll take the chance in my house without a basement thanks over an apartment or trailer.. and before we get into concrete rooms.. I have one but if a f4-f5 tornado hits my house that concrete room ain’t gonna mean shit.. only being underground will save you from that.. no amount of concrete or rebar will help

    • MEnotYOU!

      “Building a basement is a complicated engineering job and incredibly expensive. ” So it is possible. That is the real problem people do have to live there and there is technology that can make it possible. So while we the people argue about wizards and aliens the true god dictates our lives and outcome. THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR!!! This technology can be made affordable but that really wouldn’t make big business enough money. I mean they could only afford one jet to fly to there private island that would be sad. Forbes billionaire list had to add like 100 more names to the list this year because of the greed this people have. Those are the people that Lord over us dictating if we live or die!
      Achieve slack or die- J.R. “BOB” Dobbs Church of the Subgenius

  20. Freebie

    So, is there a God?

    • Sure, DON Q says there is, so there must be! But he also said we know no more about the universe then we did 10,000 years ago so cancel that. Nope, no god.

      • I, for one, am pleased to know that I can go back to the comforting knowledge that the flat earth is the center of the universe.

      • See, that blows my mind. I went to Catholic school my entire life and we were never taught that the Earth was flat. Ever. It was discussed in a historical sense, but no one ever suggested that it was fact. Is that a Canada vs. USA thing?

      • You must have gone to a progressive school. Were you taught that the sun and everything else revolved around the earth? Because the Church was heavily invested in that little concept well past its sell-by date, and since DON Q knows for a fact that we “haven’t learned anything new about the universe” since the end of the Upper Paleolithic era, then that’s what you must have been taught.

    • I’m going to go out on a limb and say no. But if there is, I really hope it’s Crom.

  21. As an atheist living in Oklahoma City right now fuck you Wolf Blitzer.. and what kind of fucking name is Wolf Blitzer…

    • A Christian one, apparently.

    • Jewish. Blitzer is not an unusual Jewish surname, and Wolf used to be a fairly common given name among Eastern European Jews—back when there were a few million more Eastern European Jews around. (Blitzer says he was named after his maternal grandfather, who would have been born in Poland over a century ago.)

  22. CNN. Always tripping over itself to look stupid in the face of tragedy. Way to make FUX news look halfway competent.

    • Someone that is somehow able to find a way to put “fux” and “news” and “competent” into a posting has reached a new low of superficial fuckness…..

  23. Helena Handbasket

    Saying “the Lord” instead of “God” during casual conversations makes you a Christian douchebag.

    Also, “Have a blessed day.” For fuck’s sake, “HAve a nice day” is insipid enough, but telling me to have a “blessid” day makes me think you just emerged from a cult in Guyana.

  24. FoxDumberThanBrick

    Everybody knows Tornados only kill God-loving people.

  25. Dopey

    Atheists are smart. They have basements.

  26. If you jump in front of a bus and get run over, even God can’t help you. If you pitch a tent on the beach at low tide, God can’t help you. If you live in tornado alley RIGHT along the path a twister took a few years ago, God can’t help you. OK? You’re welcome.

    • Shut the fuck up. Every comment you make beats the other for the “dumbest thing I’ve ever heard” award. There are 10 fucking states in Tornado Alley that get tornadoes ALL THE FUCKING TIME! It’s a fact of nature. Everyone living in those states can’t just pick up and move to a magical place that has no natural disasters. Same for California, Florida, Louisiana…..the list goes on and on. Shit happens and all you can do is try to prepare as well as you can to make sure you’re ok.

      • If I could thumbs up this comment more than once, I would. This dribbling moron loves the pitching tents at low tide remark since he repeated it upthread about “ignorant nobodies” – what, God will look out for you if you’re well-known? Tornado Alley can also include Maryland, since many got taken out by a huge storm cell a few years ago. It could have just as easily taken out Washington. That’s a fuck of big area to stay away from, just in case that tide might decide to come in.

        Look, fuckwit, they’re called “natural” disasters for a reason – and unlike the tides, which can be predicted down to the minute, and the proven results of a bus impacting with a human body 100% of the time, they are fucking unpredictable. So people will still live by the water even though tsunamis can occur, just as they will live inland where deadly storms can occur, just as they will live near the mountains which can explode into active volcanos, just as they will live in areas of extreme climate change and earthquake, because unlike you, with your ridiculous admonitions, they know we all can’t crowd into the five square miles of the world where nothing drastic ever happens. Because, unlike you, humans realize that the world is essentially a hostile and dangerous environment, which is why we take pains to wear clothing and provide ourselves with dependable shelter and a sustainable food source. No place in the world is nature-free, so get the fuck over it. You’re welcome.

  27. anonym

    I normally hate Wolf Blitzer as much as I hate Piers Morgan.

    But here he just laughed it off. I thought it would be worse when I read the title of the thread.

    “Lord” is nonspecific.

  28. frank

    not only is wolfe blitzer an asshole, but CNN and all of what DOES must be from the mouth of very many assholes, shithead or complete fucking goddamn assholes. This is from an American who currently is speaking as a drunk American ex-Sailor!!!

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