Why, Natalie Portman? Why?

January 7th, 2011 // 38 Comments

Here’s an increasingly pregnant Natalie Portman walking around Los Feliz yesterday, and she actually looks pretty good until you get to this picture and remember all pregnant women eventually turn into trolls who demand copper coins lest ye can’t cross the bridge. TLC always seems to forget that part.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin


  1. RoboZombie

    *slowly puts wiener back in pants*

  2. Because women can’t resist the filthy lucre of copper coins.

  3. Michelle

    Fuck sakes – pregnancy is no excuse for this.

  4. Tad Bit Tipsy

    Why are people still breeding??? Especially selfish little actress twats.

  5. Nat Port is preggers. Time to mosey along.

  6. tinsley poop

    you are such a sexist piece of shit. you haven’t been funny in years… porbably a different writer then.

  7. Cock Dr

    She’s probably in love. That’s why.
    But there is no acceptable excuse for this outfit. Aren’t there nice casual maternity clothes available for a movie star?

    • You know you’re in big trouble when a burqa would actually be more flattering.
      I suppose I should be glad to see she can still bend over and throw on what she found in the bottom of her closet, but that NY street shot of her in “Closer” is a favorite of mine so I’m officially in mourning.

  8. Enoch

    When I saw the title, I thought it was going to be about why in the world this woman would make a movie with Ashton Kutcher.

  9. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she still looks amazing! Pregnant women these days look stylish and good.

  10. Girl

    She has creepy, troll-like stump fingered hands. I don’t get what the big deal is with this broad. She is a fucking dwarf and this is a horrible outfit. Maybe she isn’t pregnant at all- and as this wardrobe choice illustrates,she has just given up being attractive.
    Actresses= tiny people with GIGANTIC heads. All of them. Hideous. Like jockeys.

  11. jumpin_j

    “eventually turn into trolls”… Rubicon crossed.

  12. dee cee

    She ate a whole bagel, felt a wee bit better with food in her and acted out her suddenly favorite song;
    like a beacon on the ocean, you guide my way
    you replace that empty feeling, whats left to say
    you just smile in times of darkness, that lights my day
    bringing joy inside of sorrow, on a holiday
    like a flower blooms in spring time, sweet and complete
    makin my life worth the living, you set me free
    a ray of light you shine so brightly for all to see
    in the midst of stormy weather, you cumber sea

    you are my sunshine happiness

    in the middle of the evening, im all alone
    cuz im thinking bout you baby, im dying of cold
    searching and im always finding, the joy you bring
    cuz you’re patient through the hard time, that makes me sing
    many times within my weakness, you gave me strength
    i give thanks for what you’ve shown me, you’re heaven sent
    in the morning when i wake up, you’re on my mind
    need to tell you what im feeling, you’re so divine

    you are my sunshine happiness

  13. Jimmy Crotche

    Preggers or not, I still would give my left nut to tap that ass.

  14. Natalie Portman
    tinsley poop
    Commented on this photo:


  15. burton

    i dont see what the big deal is with her? she is average really, once you take away the makeup. she is short and stumpy. boo, wheres allt he model like woman, if your under 5 5 dont apply!

    • nonminti

      she is a very good actress who could persuade and convince you that she is beautiful.Maybe she is not a tall blond or sultry black haired girl,but she definitely has something that looks attractive.Maybe how she cares herself? For once,woman can be attractive not only because of her looks.

  16. GravyLeg

    I am SO pissed at her fetus. I wanted to be the one to wreck her vagina.

  17. Rhialto

    That belly is looking quite round…


  19. BarneyFrank

    Typical Hollywierd moon-bat actress, oh sorry must be gender sensitive, I mean actor. For some reason she looks dirty to me–you know like poor anal hygiene.

  20. lightdragon

    for pregnant women that are hot here is a link


    I did indeed jerk off to this link of a pregnant Christina Applegate. Hell this was way sexier of her than Natalie was in Closer or that new movie where she shows off her ass.

  21. realistic

    bad, bad outfit choice. no excuse. i am pregnant right now and i’ve never worn such ridiculous outfits. she almost looks like she could be working in a hospital in that attire…..

  22. noooooooooo

    She decided to give up on herself after realizing the unavoidable wreckage that will strike her vag in the coming months. Oh well at least she’ll get some closure to if she could fit a football up there.

  23. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just ridiculous to say that all women look like trolls when they are pregnant. Some women look absolutely beautiful pregnant. If you can’t find the beauty in the “glow” that a pregnant woman has then you’re the one with the problem. I find pregnant women beautiful and sexy.

  24. lightdragon

    Well at least no will stalk her now, like if they ever did.

  25. puddleduck

    Poor chick probably just ran out to the store for a candy bar … she wasn’t headed for the red carpet! Get a fucking life people!!!

  26. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    Good news Jay, there is a whole porn genre for you.

    Its the knob-kneed chicken legs that turns me off.

  27. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    look at her hand.

  28. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:


    I guess I need someone new to fantasize about!

  29. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    Ring the bells, Quasimoto! Ring the bells!

  30. MrsEllis

    She is the most beautiful woman alive right now in my opinion. Ugly people have to wear nice clothes to distract from their faces and bodies. She doesn’t.

  31. Natalie Portman
    Commented on this photo:

    She has tiny circus hands!

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