What’s That ‘Service’ Where A Dude Pays A Chick To ‘Escort’ Him? Don’t Tell Me, It’s Right On The Tip Of My Tongue.

Photo Boy / February 28, 2014

“I’m so sorry sir, this one seems to be malfunctioning. Don’t worry, we’re always prepared. KYLIEEEEEE!!”

Posted by Photo Boy

I know, it’s two Kardashian posts in a row, but when Kim gets paid half a million dollars by a creepy old dude like Richard Lugner and claims it’s just for attending a fancy ball an alarm goes off and Fish and I spring out of our bunk beds and get to slide down a shiny pole. Radar Online explains how Kim is the only one not understanding how prostitution works:

“Kim is annoying me,” Lugner told reporters. “Because she’s not sticking to the program.”

The program of “I pay you. Then sex.” It’s a simple transaction, but one Lugner seems to have trouble with over and over since the article also points out he was unable to seal the deal a few years ago with notorious streetwalker “The Red Freckle.”

Despite the drama, Kardashian is hardly Lugner’s worst date of all time. That honor surely goes to Lindsay Lohan, who didn’t even show up for her scheduled appearance in 2010 after she missed her flight.

Wow, so this guy has millions of dollars, but somehow couldn’t find access to cocaine? Maybe the war on drugs isn’t the biggest waste of money and resources of all time. Wait, did you say 2010? Ok nevermind, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation here.

Photo: Splash News