What’s That ‘Service’ Where A Dude Pays A Chick To ‘Escort’ Him? Don’t Tell Me, It’s Right On The Tip Of My Tongue.

February 28th, 2014 // 55 Comments

“I’m so sorry sir, this one seems to be malfunctioning. Don’t worry, we’re always prepared. KYLIEEEEEE!!”

Posted by Photo Boy

I know, it’s two Kardashian posts in a row, but when Kim gets paid half a million dollars by a creepy old dude like Richard Lugner and claims it’s just for attending a fancy ball an alarm goes off and Fish and I spring out of our bunk beds and get to slide down a shiny pole. Radar Online explains how Kim is the only one not understanding how prostitution works:

“Kim is annoying me,” Lugner told reporters. “Because she’s not sticking to the program.”

The program of “I pay you. Then sex.” It’s a simple transaction, but one Lugner seems to have trouble with over and over since the article also points out he was unable to seal the deal a few years ago with notorious streetwalker “The Red Freckle.”

Despite the drama, Kardashian is hardly Lugner’s worst date of all time. That honor surely goes to Lindsay Lohan, who didn’t even show up for her scheduled appearance in 2010 after she missed her flight.

Wow, so this guy has millions of dollars, but somehow couldn’t find access to cocaine? Maybe the war on drugs isn’t the biggest waste of money and resources of all time. Wait, did you say 2010? Ok nevermind, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation here.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. JC

    So a rich white dude rents his fiance, and Kanye has no issues with that? Interesting.

  2. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Ralph
    Commented on this photo:

    If you look at the wrinkles in her dress you can see the effect of her girdle/spanks. Imagine what that shit exploded into when released.

  3. Poor Kanye…he must be heartbroken to find out that he’s engaged to a woman who will prostitute herself for money. That’s assuming he’s been living under a rock since 2004.

  4. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Lover Hater
    Commented on this photo:

    Kris Jenner has given so many BJs on the side that her face is caving in.

  5. Dave

    WOW…two Kardashian posts on the same day.
    PimpMom must of sucked off Fish last night…that or he’s working part time for Brandy & Francois Navarre over at x17.

  6. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Frankie
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait up mom…. so where is Oprah?

  7. Hopalong

    What’s that family that the mom pimps out her children for money on TV and in other media? Don’t tell me it’s on the tip of my Kardashian.

  8. bondbabe

    Wearing an iron cross (reinstated decoration for the Third Reich by Hitler) in Austria (Germans marched into Austria in 1938 to “annex” that country)—absolutely moronic! But then again, it is Kim Kardashian.

    • As a WW2 buff I really thought she was wearing an Iron cross with Oak leaves, you know the medal? But then reality set in and remember this was the Superficial and you were referring to the “dress”. Actually Richard Lugner would have been if she did wear the medal.

  9. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    HAHA
    Commented on this photo:

    yep kim looks as old as her mom
    fugly twinsies!

  10. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Chop
    Commented on this photo:

    such a blank mind
    That man did not get his money’s worth!

  11. anonymous

    Kim’s either had some major Botox done just before the event or she’s really taking this one for the team because her eyes are saying she’s dead inside in all these pics. Well, deader than normal.

  12. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Many people don’t realize the opera wasn’t the only stop; first she toured all his railroads and hotels, then passed GO and collected $200. And she had Free Parking the whole time!

  13. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Laura
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t look happy at all. Who could blame her? Well, come to think of it with her combined fortune between Kayne and herself why in the world would you even say yes to prostituting yourself in this manner? Oh yes. Kardashian self promotion knows no limits. YUCK!

  14. a fool and his money are soon parted.

  15. Jade

    Kanye’s a successful pimp. He must be very proud of his baby’s mama getting paid to go on dates with rich old men.

  16. Ooh! Ooh! A new Batman? Let me guess … skullish face, high society … that’s Black Mask! And of course the Penguin … and … KGBeast? Some kind of beast.

  17. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Da Billie Jean is not my lover

  18. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Kris is turning into Bruce

    Edwina, back in bowl!

  19. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care if this isn’t the Phantom of the Opera, tell Kris to put her mask back on!

  20. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy paid 500K for Kim to be on his arm. I don’t know but isn’t that the same as being as “escort”? She really needed the cash to have to do this. They are such fame whores. Wonder what hubby thought of this? Disgusting.

  21. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Pissed
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pissed man!!!! HOW CAN IDIOTS LIKE THESE HAVE SO MUCH MONEY TO WASTE??????

  22. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    I'mpissed
    Commented on this photo:

    Pimpstress and her pimpee

  23. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Richard spent $500000 to find out Kim K was annoying? He could have tuned in to the Superficial for free.

    • Juano

      He obviously never watched their television show. One thing that comes across loud and clear the one time my wife made me watch it; these people are really obnoxious and annoying.

  24. Robb7

    I love it when this pig tries her damnedest to look demure (eyes downcast wearing her most princess-like dress showing just a hint of cleavage) and only ends up looking her most trampy!

  25. Pepe

    This party sounds more like a looney bin. I bet they all hear voices.

  26. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Gross.

  27. The Dictator

    I told this guy to get Katy Perry. She lets you aladeen in her face for a diamond Rolex.

  28. Kim. Girlfriend. You’re not thin. Dress accordingly.

  29. We all know Kim is a fucking whore and Kanye is gay. His star is fading and that’s why he hooked up with them hairy ass bitches.
    C’mon guys this is all controlled hype and bullshit.
    At the end of the day the advertisers get paid.
    We are all nothing but a captive audience of sheep.
    Straight up suckas for the ‘MAN”.

  30. Artie

    Sir Topam Hatt has a new tanker for the roundhouse.

  31. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    Kris Jenner apparently thought they were all there to film a remake of the Twilight Zone episode “The Eye of the Beholder”

    http://www.blastr.com/sites/blastr/files/images/assets_c/2011/09/pic%206-thumb-330×240-72006.jpg

  32. If you’re going to pay to have someone on your arm, why not pick someone attractive? I’d go alone before I ever think of having this succubus on my arm.

  33. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is the Joker pimping out Kim to Uncle Pennybags?

  34. So it finally happened, she is an actual prostitute and her mother is an actual pimp. Wow.

  35. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m a little tea pot, short and stout…here is my handle…here is my…”
    “This is your spout, my dear.”
    “Damn it, Kim. We’ve rehearsed this a thousand times, you stupid cow!”

  36. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim! Don’t take the gig if you won’t swallow the jizz!

  37. Old School Woman

    Maybe is a fool. Engaged to a woman who sells herself to the highest bidder. Money and publicity at any cost. Her mother is a glorified pump. Basking in the glow of making money off her daughter’s behind.

  38. Old School Woman

    I meant Kanye is a fool.

  39. How do you think KK makes her money. She is a talentless whore. And her mom is a celebrity pimp. Kanye is in it for the headlines. His gay ass has cock at home, God, read between the fucking lines. This is all staged people. But Kim is trash. Nasty, hairy slut.
    And this is what that kid she had has as a mother. Wow.
    Just nasty!

  40. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    The Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim has a bigger plastic smile posing with Mr. Peanut than she does with her fiance.

    Karma.

  41. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Call me crazy, but every time I see her lately, I think to myself “Wow, Octomom is really getting her shit together.”

  42. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Will the Penguin show the media whore his ‘flipper trick’?
    Tune in next week…Same Bat time, Same bat channel!

  43. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    The wax statue at Madame Tussauds shows more emotion , costs less and has more interesting things to say.

  44. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    OhMyGoodness!!!!
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim, This poor man paid you $500,000 to escort him to a very high class event. “THE VIENNA BALL”, and you dressed in see-thru clothing that made you look like a “paid escort”. Couldn’t you for once dress decently? It’s no wonder the high society people who attended this soiree looked at you as tho you were a lady of ill repute. You certainly looked like one. You should give this gentleman his money back. Was Kris an escort also, or was she being friendly because she’s looking for someone with lots and lots of money? She didn’t look so hot herself that night.

Leave A Comment