‘We’re Getting Sued. Put Some Damn Pants On Her.’

September 10th, 2010 // 67 Comments

“I never worn a law suit ‘fore, y’all! Hot dawg!”

Here’s an almost cleaned-up Britney Spears being paraded in front of the paparazzi yesterday in what I can only assume is a concentrated effort to convince people she’s not an abusive vagina monster despite recent litigation suggesting otherwise. Now, while I admire the fact someone actually got her into a pair of pants, allow me to make some quick suggestions:

1. Buy her a bra that, oh I dunno, actually fits over her breasts. It might seem strange at first, but trust me, nothing says deranged mommy like rogue nipples. Fact.
2. Wait until after you shove her in front of the cameras to have that morning frap. Granted, you’re risking a hostage situation, it’s a small price to pay so people don’t think she murdered an entire Starbucks all over her pants because they were out of caramel sauce.

(That last part actually happened, didn’t it? See? This is what I’m talking about.)

Photos: Fame


  1. Do you think she is even smart enough to understand what a law suite is? I am guessing she thinks it is a new flavor at Starbucks

  2. you can read what she eats off the closeup on her thighs. still id like them wrapped round my neck. id like to eat something as well

    • Jen

      are you serious? she looks like she has cheeto crust on her vagina. i dont have a cock, maybe thats why i dont understand.

      • sadly jen yeah. male gear can shave a 160something iq down to 90something when even a heffer bends over to pick up a fallen danish. it’s not that shitney stands for anything i like. in fact she’s many things i loathe. but a horse needs his oats.. tho i should probly save the batter for linds, she apparently wants it even more

  3. internet janitor

    hit your baby one more time!

  4. Oh Hell No

    That guy KNOWS he would have hit that…..

  5. M

    She really doesn’t give a fuck, does she? My God. It a wonder that she’s still relatively fit. I can totally see her as Goldie Hawn’s character in Death Becomes Her with the frosting and cats and shit. Yikes…

  6. MariC38

    I must say she looks great and like she’s gotten more in shape…props to her

  7. M

    See I’m not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there’s fat people that were born to be fat, and there’s fat people that were once thin but became fat… so when you look at ‘em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you’re gonna get married, you’re gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, mmml, mmmmlll

  8. Britney Spears
    A superficial
    Commented on this photo:

    bye bye nipple!

  9. rough can cook

    Why does she always sound like Brandine Spuckler.

  10. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank god she took her hair down! I am so tired of seeing her “messy mommy” bun….makes her head look weird. Still, it’s unbelievable that someone who obviously doesn’t take care of her own children LOOKS like she’s taking care of a whole nursery!

  11. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    It amazes me how people with endless cash supply can still look a mess….

  12. Britney Spears
    Racer X
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those cum stains?

  13. Deacon Jones

    A hot mess.

    Just the way Deacon likes them.

  14. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    y they look so saddd?? it makes me sad:D

  15. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    it took me ages to realize, that this was not pamela anderson in this very picture, trying vry hard to look normal in pants.

  16. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    aww man

  17. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    yummy derlicious

  18. Britney Spears
    horn dog
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d smoke them puppies!

  19. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    What kind of bra is she wearing?

  20. horn dog

    Yum…a see-thru white top, low-cut bra with visible nips, and one peeking out…BEEYOING!

  21. I don’t think there’s any doubt that the allegations are true, it all fits with her character.

    But what the fuck are we supposed to think about this bodyguard, who is claiming harassment because he was forced to look at a naked woman. Really? Why not just put on a pink t-shirt that says “I’m a crybaby FAG” in glitter.

  22. shavederic

    I’d love to snack on some country beaver

  23. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Im usually against plastic surgery (why must every 40+ actor/actress in Hollywood have similar face?!), but she needs to fix those boobs. There’s nothing wrong fixing your boobs after you have had babies.

  24. Ned

    I would freeze her used tampons and suck on them like popsicles. She is HOT. I would allow her to blast beefy farts in my face, just so I could have her shit particles in my lungs.

  25. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    You would think it would be a requirement for boob jobs that the nipples actually point in the SAME direction, or at the very least, the same hemisphere. christ.

  26. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    something else just occured to me. If this broad wasn’t in sound mind to care for her own bank account, why in the love of all things holy, was she allowed near her kids?!?

  27. karrde

    why has this girl not had nude photos leaked all over the internets yet? just one or two upskits is all I’ve found!

    Get naked and do something filthy!

  28. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m convinced that the only reason she never did Playboy or went topless is because she is embarrassed by her nipples or her breasts are just awful.

  29. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    she is looking so good!

  30. Jen

    this bitch has totally lost it. i dont doubt the allegations either. she was out of her mind and put in the fucking loony bin. of course she did some off the wall shit. now can someone get her a stylist and a hair dresser, please?

    oh, and her poor kids.

  31. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    those legs are still very fine

  32. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    Where does she go shopping? Goodwill? Everything she wears looks so fucking cheap.

  33. Britney Spears
    Mel Gibson's Shrink
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah so what? happens to me sometimes.

  34. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    There is that sad nipple again!

  35. CH

    You’d think with all the money she has, she’d be able to afford a breast lift! Damn, girl you’re not even 30, do something about it!

  36. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d have sex with britney spears in a heartbeat. Does she know how many guys would hit that bat-shit crazy pussy?

  37. captain america

    (good news for them)

  38. ill suck dem nipples till they disappear… 1st problem solved

    see i bring real solutions to the table!!!

  39. Britney Spears
    Al Franken
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not a spilled frappe.

    I let her blow me and she let the jizz drip off her chin onto her leg. Its a class move y’all.

    Vote for me.

  40. Ned

    I would feed her laxatives, and then let her use my mouth as her toilet

  41. sarah

    it’s funny how she does a photo op wearing a conservative white shirt and completely covered up when she is usually wearing nothing. I think this was a pr photo op.

  42. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF … her nipples !!

  43. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

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  44. Brooke

    Man… she just makes me sad. I can’t really make fun of Britney anymore. Paris? Sure. Tila? Definitely. Lindsay and her entire family? Sounds like fun. But looking at that dumb smile on her face while she trots along with her breasts-a-poppin’ and that stain on her pants… and knowing she probably thinks she “dun got all perty”… I don’t know. Remember when she did those Pepsi commercials? Or wore that snake? Or sang with Aerosmith? Yeah… remember the good times.

  45. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    matching bra and pants
    how creative

  46. Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    is this for real? her nipples are just bizarre.

  47. Parties

    I think that Spears just has a lot more to worry about than whether her pants are clean or not. We should be giving her a bit of a break here guys.

  48. louis

    OMG,====my discount bag====Google to see LV 2010 ,CHANE1 2010,GUCC1 2010 ************

  49. Britney Spears
    big daddy
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs a “bird dog bra” it makes pointers out of setters.

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