WEEKEND NERDIOR: Patton Oswalt Edition

Patton Oswalt may have written an incredibly inspirational Facebook post the day of the Boston Marathon bombing, but he also did a bunch of nerd stuff this week that caters to people like me who already fear and loathe the outside world and wrote off humanity a long time ago, so let’s focus on that instead. Because, seriously, I’ve written about the Kardashians for over half a decade now, so there’s nothing anyone write or say that will make me think, “Okay, maybe America’s not that bad.” It’s a cesspool. A goddamn, deep-fried cesspool filled with blech and blugh and enough reality television to make ravens claw out your eyes in a desperate act of pity. And to prove my point even further, a schmuck like me rides it all the way to the bank. Now on to comic books and movies! YEE-HAW! (I get dark the week before my vacation. Sue me.)

Patton Oswalt

Probably even moreso than his Boston Facebook post – Suck it, human spirit. – this outtake from Patton Oswalt’s Parks and Recreation cameo was fucking everywhere this week. As it should be because it’s eight solid minutes of Patton riffing a filibuster without pause that’s entirely a pitch for Episode VII where the Star Wars and Marvel universes fight Thanos with the help of the Greek gods from Clash of the Titans:

Except, even better than all that, is this College Humor clip where Patton is The Penquin to Pete Holmes’ Dark Knight, and my apologies in advance for if/when this thing buffers like a bitch:

Doctor Strange

Justin Theroux is apparently being eyed to play Doctor Strange for Marvel’s Phase Three. Which makes sense considering he wrote the first two Iron Man movies and has sex with Jennifer Aniston which probably involves some form of necromancing and/or moisture-inducing sorcery. [CHUD]

Captain America: Winter Soldier

According to this Ed Brubaker interview, Captain America: Winter Soldier will pull heavily from his Eisner Award-winning Winter Soldier storyline which, by itself, was way better than the first movie. [Paste]

Even more encouraging, here’s a look at Cap’s suit on set which looks like it abandoned his Avengers outfit completely and mashed together his WWII outfit with his Steve Rogers S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform from the comics when he quit being Captain America. Also, Scarlett Johansson’s there if you’re into cooties. [Spinoff Online]

Robert Morales (1958 – 2013)

Writer Robert Morales passed away this week. He was best known for his 2003 Truth: Red, White & Black miniseries which a bunch of people flipped out about when it was released and I literally just read for the first time this year. (Quick Take: Awesome read that deserved much better art.) It gave the origin of Captain America’s super-soldier serum a dark, but not unrealistic, history of being used in Tuskegee-like experiments on African-American soldiers first which Marvel later made canon. He was 55. [The Beat]

Heroes Is Coming Back. Yes, That Heroes.

MSN is apparently looking to relaunch Heroes as an Xbox Live exclusive with all new heroes and cameos from the original cast is possible. No word on if the pilot will completely erase literally everything that happened after the first season, but that would be a good place to start. [TVLine]

Now’s A Good Time To Own A 3DS

The latest Nintendo Direct dropped a buttload of release info for upcoming 3DS games including a sequel to The Legend of The Zelda: A Link To The Past, so excuse me while I steal my niece’s and blame the neighbor kid. [GammaSquad]

In the meantime, I talked a lot of shit about the 3DS when it first came out, but after a price drop and new XL version with better battery life, it’s not only completely dominating the Vita but doing so well it’s actually cannibalizing the Wii U. [Kotaku]


If you want to preserve the fond memories you have of Jeff Bridges as a surly, sonofabitch gunman in True Grit, for the love of God, don’t watch this trailer:

Man of Steel

One of my biggest fears is that Man of Steel would be influenced by J. Michael Straczynski’s fucking god-awful Superman: Earth One graphic novel, so naturally there were a shit-ton of similarities in the new trailer. Wonderful. [Bleeding Cool]

But at least we all dodged J.J. Abram’s Superman: Flyby which would’ve involved Lex Luthor as a CIA agent who’s secretly a Kryptonian, and a villian who’s Superman’s cousin that’s not a hot chick in a red miniskirt as God intended. [io9]

And, Finally, This Happened

Entertainment Weekly’s Jef Castro turned Patton Oswalt’s Episode VII pitch up top into this epic poster inspired by the classic cover for Jim Starlin’s The Infinity Gauntlet. This is why we have an Internet. [EW.com]

Patton Oswalt Stars Episode VII

Photo: Jef Castro/EW.com