We Went To See Batman

July 20th, 2012 // 53 Comments
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“Alright, now I’m getting pissed. Where are the dick jokes?”

So by the time you read this post Photo Boy and I will already be an hour into The Dark Knight Rises because we didn’t feel like taking a rogue inhaler to the eye at a midnight show. [Or shot, I should sadly now add. What the fuck is your problem, Colorado?!] Also, we’re trying not to get cockslapped with spoilers, so we’ve pretty much been Internet silent for the past 12 hours because, true story, someone spoiled The Dark Knight for me in the comments back in 2008 and since then I’ve dedicated myself to hurling shit like this into your goddamn eyes. So look for my full review later today, but not before Photo Boy gives you a Friday The Crap We Missed to cap off the week.

- The Superficial

P.S. Huge thanks to Barker & Rubes for the Bane/Romney pic which owns our Mitt Wayne pic even though Photo Boy did a bang-up job heeding my nerd request, and yes, that’s Anne Hathaway in a bikini down there.

Photos: Warner Bros., Splash News

superficial

  1. Glass

    Walked out of the theater at like 3am with geek tears of joy, then became totally mortified by the news from Colorado. So scary and so tragic.

    If that “gas mask” he was wearing was actually a Bane mask, I completely give up on my generation.

    • John

      Geek tears, fanboy rage wars, nutbags dressing like superheroes/jedis/whatever, girls undergoing surgery trying to look like real-life dolls, murderous nutbags shooting people while dressed as their favorite comic villains. Yeah, I guess I have given up much earlier in the progression.

    • Henry

      This is why we can’t have nice things.

    • Trek Girl

      This isn’t a generational thing. Shootings like this have happened before. That doesn’t make any less horrible or something to not take seriously, but let’s not act like this is new and unheard of.

  2. Stupid

    Why would you try to scare us this early in the morning with photos of Anne Hathaway. Sent shivers down my spine.

  3. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    theoriginal LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Even with the Liza Minelli look, she could wake up next to me every morning and never get kicked out of bed.

  4. ayo

    So are you dead?

    • Mark B

      Horrible! Horribly funny you sick bastard.

    • Gin&Tonic

      I thumbs downed you even though i thought it was funny,
      too soon dude, too soon

    • No such thing as too soon. People died in tragic and brutal way and that will never get better, so how can there be “too soon”. Also, if anyone thinks that a joke means the person doesn’t have sympathy for those affected, they are likely wrong. Make a joke and hopefully someone laughs and the world is a little better.

    • ayo

      You know what the shitty thing is, now I feel like shit about this post. I feel awful for the people who got hurt and their families, even before posting what I thought would be a pretty damn good joke, what should have been a good joke, and then I find out minutes ago this fucken’ asshole dressed up as the joker which makes this joke just too much IMO. Here is my sincerest apologies to anyone I may have offended. I hope the victims get their justice. Rip this guys balls off, make him eat ‘em raw and put him in a jail cell with biggest meanest blackest most hung homosexual in the jail system. Death is too easy for for a piece of shit like this.

      • Daniel Tosh

        ayo, if you don’t quit apologizing I will drag you to the nearest midnight showing and rape you 71 times. On second thought, make that 71 strokes (I’m a very selfish lover).

  5. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Novo
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Donkey from Shrek with those teefers

  6. yeahhh

    there are gonna be copycat shooters for sure. I wouldn’t risk going, plus I don’t care about batman and michelle Pfeiffer is the image I want to keep as catwoman

  7. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    Awful for those people. I’m speaking as someone who was raped in a cinema once. I thought I was going to Spiderman but it was Spiderman 3.

  8. CANTSTOPSTARING

    “One of the injured was just 3 months old, hospital workers said.”

    Obviously, the dude just went nuts after the 5th time the BABY AT A BATMAN MOVIE started crying.

  9. CANTSTOPSTARING

    ” I just remember getting up from the floor and shouting, ‘We have to drun.’”

    • Mayor Steve Hogan

      In hindsight it’s possible Aurora’s toys for guns exchange was a mistake, although we did get a lot of cool Dark Knight action figures off the street.

  10. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Blubbo The Clown
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy missing asses, Batman!

    There is such a thing as losing TOO much weight. At one point she had quite a nice body and ass. Now she just looks like a 10 year old boy.

  11. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    ds78
    Commented on this photo:

    She does have a face of a rat.

  12. achilles wrath

    This new Batman film must be pretty good.
    Apparently viewers in America have been blown away.

  13. I_HEART_HUCKABEES

    You should have titled this article “Rush Limbaugh Kills Again.”

    • Rush Limbaugh

      It was either mass murder or people clamoring to see Mitt’s tax returns… you can see the upside.

  14. Archie Leach

    I went to one of the first viewings of The Dark Knight a few years back and it seemed like everyone was texting so the theater was basically illuminated by all those phones. With TDKR I can only imagine how bad it is with everyone with smartphones now.

    Then there was the idiots behind me kept kicking the back of my seat.

    I’m gonna wait over a week then go to a mid-week showing to avoid all the fucking inconsiderate assholes that pollute movies theaters these days.

    • You’re lucky – I always manage to sit in front of the fuckers who sound like their wrapping their Chistmas presents.

    • El Jefe

      I always go on Friday afternoons for the Matinee shows, about 4:30 and there are no jackoffs there, maybe about 5 people in the theater and it is cheaper to boot. I have not gone to a night show in over 5 years and never will. This shit that happened is just further proof my choices are correct.

  15. Cock Dr

    Where are the dick jokes?

  16. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Kaka
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought white guys loved this

  17. Arlene

    Talk about a shoot ‘em up action thriller!

  18. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    YTBOY
    Commented on this photo:

    Totally Awesome Boobs!!!

  19. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know what it is, but there is NOTHING sexy about this gal – with or without hair

  20. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Is Photo Boy your lover, Fish? In the 6 years I have been reading this blog, I never knew you were gay.

  21. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Ted
    Commented on this photo:

    Your comment “what the fuck is your problem, Colorado” is extremely offensive. I won’t be visiting your site anymore.

  22. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Leah
    Commented on this photo:

    she doesnt look too bad just needs a butt,not a big one though I no like big asses just a cute one.

  23. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Andre
    Commented on this photo:

    Still hot… it’s not the hair you make love to.

  24. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a druggy whore. He eyes are so sad and droopy looking. Her nose is huge and hangs too low. Her mouth looks like an evil clown. was she an inbred???

  25. Anne Hathaway Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    no ass

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