Vacation Mode

September 27th, 2010 // 35 Comments
National Lampoon's Vacation

Good morning, citizens!

Before hunkering down for the fall/winter months and becoming Grizzly Adams with a porn addiction, I squeezed in a long overdue vacation. Literally my first in over three years, but enough about the hardships of blogging in your underwear. What does this mean for you, o, sucklers of my words?

Posts are going to be less frequent and a little erratic this week. They might be right on time, they might be hours behind, or through the magic of Jack Daniels, they might be written in a strange language not even I myself know how to read. — So, really, no different than usual now that I think about it.

In the meantime, my MacBook Pro is hitting me with an electric tingle whenever it’s plugged in at my condo. I picked up a small surge protector thinking that would do the trick. No dice. Any advice, hit me in the comments or producer AT thesuperficial.com. Also, “Go to a Genius Bar,” is not a viable option though I appreciate everyone who’s already suggested it’s all the penis I’m ingesting because I use a Mac. It’s simple, yet elegant.

- The Superficial

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  1. Here’s wishing you a happy vacay fish–have you looked into a backup power adapter. Always check power first..

  2. castallare

    I’d be livid with you for deserting me in my time of need (it’s going to be raining all this week and I stay at home with a toddler all day… sober…) but, frankly, you do need a vacation. I kinda hope we helped pay for it a little. I really hope you get laid and receive free drinks, moreso than usual.

  3. RolyPoly

    It’s all the penis you’re ingesting because you use a Mac.

  4. Electrician

    If you’re getting a buzz within your condo only, then it’s likely that your outlets are not grounded properly. This is an unsafe situation which needs recitifying. That’ll be $50.

    • fester

      Most likely the charger since the absence of a ground probably wouldn’t cause a persistent tingle, just defeat the ability to shunt surges away from the outlet. Still, not a terrible idea for anyone to test their outlets. Wouldn’t be the first time a contractor cut corners.

      A lot of surge protectors include an LED that lights if the outlet is grounded. I think you can also pick up an inexpensive tester that performs the same function.

  5. SaraDevil

    What you need to do is condition yourself to enjoy the electronic stimulation…

  6. krutboo

    all joking aside, I really think the huge amount of cock you suck on as a Mac user is the culprit here.

  7. dabaki

    1 plug in your laptop
    2 while firmly holding laptop, slowly lower it into a bucket of water
    3 wait for the miracle!

  8. Mitch

    Steve Jobs smokes the skin flute and the electronic tingle you feel is the MacBook’s internal gaydar sensing your closeted queerness. Wash your balls and expect a meatbath personally performed by Mr. Jobs.

    Mitch

  9. fleur

    Try a new charger … they can short out over time. Not common, but not unheard of. They run $79. Also if the charger is getting really warm when you’re using it, get a new one!

    And I sell Apple products for a living so I know what I’m talking about, haters.

    • fester

      I agree. Maybe try a borrowed charger first to see if that eliminates the problem.

      Never mind the Mac haters. It’s not surprising that people who type with their nose so they have both hands free to simultaneously jerk off and shovel Cheetos into their mouths (which invariably leads to OPS, or orange peter syndrome) cannot appreciate the Mac’s superior design.

      • Richard McBeef

        $79 for an ac adaptor. what a fucking rip off. buy one on ebay for $15 that was assembled by the same chinese kids at the same chinese factory that apple uses. fuck you mac store.

      • fleur

        Have fun with Vista, Richard!!

  10. king gibson

    pfff….it’s been FIVE years since my last vacation :P

  11. ethermonk

    Did you Google it, or are you waiting for “hope and change” to fix your laptop with third grade economics?

    http://forums.macrumors.com/showthread.php?t=230685

  12. Spo

    ever notice that pc users will simply say “my laptop” while mac users always say “my macbook”. I think i’m guilty as well although I’m a self-loathing apple consumer. I would say charge the computer than unplug it to use it. can you swap the battery in it or do you have one of the newer ones? if you can change the battery get an extra charge that as well then you have a back up.

  13. Shorty80

    It could be a problem with the wiring in your place or the outlet. Some people have this happen if the outlet isn’t grounded or if they’re not using the Mac’s grounded extension cable.

    I love Macs and I now love your website even more (I didn’t think that was possible!) because I know you use one. I

  14. Chagall

    Give us some snookie nightmare before you go please.

  15. Deacon Jones

    Where are you going Fish?

    Bangkok? I heard they have some pretty cheap rates on their ladyboys since the economy is so shitty.

  16. Taz

    Have fun Fish!

  17. Beverly Beaver

    er wait, 3years since your last vacation? this website is a part-time job right? I mean how much time does it consume to make three posts per day and copy and paste some pictures? I always thought you did this site on your lunch hour from a normal job.

  18. Buddy Don Golly

    That AC outlet in your condo is definitely not wired properly. The ground and the neutral are probably reversed, or something similar.

  19. james

    My Macbook did that- right before the power system kicked out. 3 motherboards and a new power supply and battery later I am good. I would look at a new power supply first – return it if it doesn’t do the trick.

  20. Kerri

    Have a great vacation Superficial Writer! Looking forward to your sporadic posts : )

  21. Pat

    If you’re using the macbook power adapter without the 3-prong cord attached to it, and just plugging the power brick part right into the wall with the little 2-prong adapter, you can get a slight tingle through the aluminum case of the macbook. Mine did that to me and I stopped taking the 3-pronged cord off the power brick. It’s a design flaw.

  22. notthelimejuice

    Before you do anything, run it by GW first! You are way out of your league my little gossip tuna. Have a great vacation!!!

  23. somethingoriginal

    Enjoy your holiday Fish!

    Frankly it’s probably the best timing. It’s not really bikini season anymore and Lohan’s still not going to jail. What is there to post about really?

  24. Fish, I want to personally thank you for saving my life with this website.

    A couple of years ago I was pretty down in the dumps. I had just watched my neighbor choke to death (jury says I did it. Not true, I was framed), the IRS was on my back about a couple of bucks and my underarms were seeping lymph.

    Because of your professional and journalistic integrity and sharp edged ethics I was able look up to you as my mentor and leader. You’re writing and wit literally saved my life.

    Thank you fish, for all you did for me and all you will do to the men and woman that are still out there, search, seeking and growing.

    I love you fish, just like Pam loved Tommy.

  25. captain america

    John Bambi aka Deer is horny.
    WILL KIM KARDASHIAN “HELP” HIM, folks?

  26. whitney

    There is a set schedule to these posts?

  27. herbiefrog

    so… just the lohan related posts then…

    that’ll keep us happy…

    …even the knobs you call posters

  28. JosephRejekt

    Kneel on your mac, take 2 cocks in your mouth and insert your now tiny mac penis into the wall socket.

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