Urkel’s Hitting Women, Too

July 9th, 2010 // 38 Comments

Because Mel Gibson‘s always been a trendsetter, Jaleel White is under investigation for allegedly punching the mother of his child in the implant, according to TMZ:

Sources familiar with the police report tell us … the alleged victim claims White allegedly punched her in one of her breast implants while they were driving on Pacific Coast Highway two weeks ago, with an infant in the car. We’re told, she claims when they got home White allegedly slapped her, and pushed her into a toilet so hard it broke the tank.

Jesus! What’s in the water out there? Also, how the hell did Urkel have a kid? I could’ve sworn I read somewhere those suspenders left him sterile. Or is this just what he told me hot chicks get me HOT so he wouldn’t have to use a condom? Someone should probably give him the chair. — For the women’s sake. Yes, the women…

Photo: Splash News

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  1. Georgeo

    My Girlfriend BEGS me to punch her implants. So what’s the problem?

  2. familymatters

    are you sure it wasnt stefan????

  3. fuuuuu

    did I do that??? haha battery is funny.

  4. Deacon Jones

    You mean “What’s in the grape soda?”

  5. Rough lil raunchy

    So she broke a ceramic tank unscathed and she’s not sign to the GIANTS? I hope it’s not the being a “woman thing”. We’re not still leaving the dark ages you know…

  6. Horse

    @ Yuri – Damn right, bitches now days need slap every once in a while to keep in line and keep there traps shut. Bitches be acting like they the boss and shit? I don’t think so. You girls wanna run your mouth and hit us, but can’t handle it when you get it in return. Urkel’s girl was probably yelling at him and talking shit, she should have gotten punched. Way to go Urkel – slap a ho!

  7. Pix84

    I really thought this guy killed himself….

  8. Khunt

    Goddammit that little Sambo turned out ugly now didint he? I wonder what kinda pecker meat he’s got down there most of his kind are hangin lowdown from my experiences.

  9. Id

    Nothing screams total-fucking-loser like a Fair Isle sweater. Isn’t the girl from that show doing porn? Jaimee Foxworth, AKA “Crave.”

    Nice.

    • Whattaphuck

      What shocks me is you know whatever the hell a Fair Isle sweater is? You must be a loser yourself. Got a closet full of them do you?

  10. gigi

    wtf….. thought this dude liked weiner

  11. ..wonder if he was wearing those heisted up dick clincher pants when he was going across her head…

  12. Afenishakur.com

    Do you DEVILS have nothing better to do than slander our strong, black men?
    Only wrong part about him is his last name, White, why would anyone want to be
    associated with anything white?

  13. Vito

    Why do you suppose the article says he punched her in the BREAST IMPLANT instead of punched her in the breast (which, coincidentally, contained an implant)? Does that sanitize it somewhat, sort of like he really didn’t hit HER, per se, only an appliance she happens to have?

    Tell it like it is: the black piece of shit punched her in the tit. The implant is irrelevant. And he ought to be put in a closed room with Mel Gibson and two rusty entrenching tools.

    On second thought, what will Mel think about a “nigger” following in his footsteps?

  14. Lerxt

    Oh no! Not Jerkel too!

  15. How big is this woman that she destroys a ceramic tank by landing on it?.

    and why point out he hit her in a breast implant? That’s like pointing out someone jabbed a pencil in my prosthetic leg.

  16. barroom hero

    Did I do that?

  17. Toolboy

    Well, in their defense, if the bitches would just STFU and listen once in a while, this kind of shit wouldn’t be happening…

  18. Ryan

    DID I DO THAT?!

    Had to say it. lol

  19. Jonny Topside

    Send Carl Winslow over to read him his rights, I’m sure 21-23 minutes of hilariously ridiculous situation after situation will ensue.

  20. KP

    when presented with a picture of his baby’s momma by police after the alleged assualt, White responded simply, “did i doooo thaat?”

  21. Urk

    Got any cheeeeeeese?

  22. goon

    it’s easy to spot a wife beater by the necklace.

  23. Kaz

    Boyfrined kim kardashian

  24. Kaz

    I see kim with urkel in hottle fuck most time and he play her big boobs like fight ,and suck boobs

  25. Kaz

    Not urkel this jaleel

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