The ‘Wall’ Tori Spelling ‘Knocked Down’

June 14th, 2011 // 27 Comments

When Tori Spelling decided to equate herself with Princess Di by blaming a “car chase” on the “paparazzi,” she might have exaggerated a couple of parts which sounds unusual for someone whose first reaction is to immediately tweet her thousands of “fans” after a “traumatic” event and, yes, I’m blowing our entire sarcastic quotes budget on this post:

Paparazzi chased me w/the kids 2school. I was trying to get away from him and had a pretty big accident. Took down whole wall of school. … Wht will it take? Someone dying for paparazzi to stop?

Keep in mind, we already know the “chase” was Tori Spelling seeing a dude with a camera standing on the sidewalk like everyday of her life, and thanks to these photos, we now know that her car taking down “the whole wall of a school” was just Tori backing over a curb like an idiot. Which still does nothing to explain her thought process. “Hey, watch this. I’m going to say I crashed through a school while that guy stands over there with a device capable of capturing images of events exactly as they occur. No one will ever know!”

Photos: Fame, Pacific Coast News

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  1. the captain

    Ronald Reagan said it two decades earlier: mister gorbatjov, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!!
    (she listened very carefully)

  2. Johnny Cage

    I’m the Juggernaut BITCH!

  3. Rancid

    We don’t need no Tori Spelling
    We don’t need no cruise control

  4. Tori Spelling School Crash
    Commented on this photo:

    eww put that away this instant!

  5. RoboZombie

    Die already!!

  6. Coyote

    Seal Team 6, Its a go, take down Public Enemy 90210

  7. HGary

    Tori Spelling first hit the wall a long time ago folks.

  8. naano

    tori spelling looks like a black chick who happened to be born white.

  9. sasha

    Nah. I don’t buy it. She is seriously deluded. She’s a has-been . Nobody is interested.

  10. TomFrank

    If it weren’t for the tree, you could see that the sign says “Welcome Tori.” Clearly, this was all staged in advance.

  11. Dude is a Drama. Queen.

  12. ‘ Wht will it take? Someone dying for paparazzi to stop?’
    Yes Tori, and we volunteered you years ago, now please stop cheating death before someone actually important dies.

  13. cc

    Looks she didn’t quite make it to her final destination. Time for yet another sequel. Bonus points for the person who can think of the best Rube Goldberg mechanism for her to meet her maker.

  14. Wow, the campaign to get Daniel Tosh to come perform at schools is really getting a lot of traction.

  15. lol tori whore

    BLamings the paps. She’s always been a spoilt retard.

  16. Why couldn’t she have hit the wall with her face?

  17. kimmykimkim

    “If you build it, a stupid celebrity will run into it.”

  18. Dick Douche, Private Eye

    This is why these people are better than us.

    If someone like you or I had done that, we would feel pretty dumb. We probably would have reached for our checkbooks. (Honestly, I would have just gotten the hell out of there, but I didn’t say that). Tori Spelling, when she did it, saw a last chance at some sorely-needed publicity — and it WORKED.

    The lesson is this, people — you always have to be looking for angles. Every time you drop a fart in gym class, you have to be thinking about ways to turn that into MONEY. It’s a LOT harder than it sounds. It really is.

  19. Jennylee

    Free info like this is an apple from the tree of knowdlgee. Sinful?

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