Too Many Bikinis? Joe Manganiello’s Here

October 12th, 2011 // 46 Comments

Whoa, easy, Eric from CSI: Miami. Let me write the post first.

Ladies, homosexual demographic, the tiny voice in my head telling me this should be my new washer, I know it seems like there’s been a lot of bikinis today, and honestly, there’s gonna be more. But sometimes you just have to close your eyes and know that daddy always gonna make it all better. Bret?

Photos: Flynet

The Superficial is in Clusterf@ck! Mode this week. Normal posting resumes Mon, Oct 17.

superficial

  1. no fat chicks

    the part in your post that has the strike-through should read: “yours truly…”

  2. JoJo

    Now thats a situation!!

  3. Can

    YOU give me something to believe in, Superficial.

  4. suck it

    MMM thank you…

  5. Cock Dr

    He looks as if he would be capable of prolonged & vigorous thrusting.

  6. holdmeclosertonydanza

    Wuzzz up, alcide?!

  7. manuel ferrara

    terrible physique.

    arms too small for the rest of his body. shoulders too narrow for his waise. big and ugly obliques.

  8. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Abs Magic Mike Bathing Suit
    Natalie
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet jesus thank you.

  9. stratacat

    heh. i made the same exact face when i saw the picture, bent over and everything. i even started to take my pants off but then i saw my coworker shaking her head and decided to keep my job.

    for now.

  10. Venom

    Thought that was Delko from CSI who is looking suspiciously gay in that photo…

  11. TomFrank

    “Eric from CSI: Miami”? Not Joe Jonas?

  12. MJB

    Is this the dude from True Blood? I can’t get into that show—too pornographic.
    I don’t watch porn for the same reason I don’t watch sports. I’d rather be doing it than watch others do it.

    • Obviously the term “multi-tasking” isn’t one you’re familiar with.

    • Michael Lohan

      Don’t use words that are too big for you Alex.

    • Damn, Alex, if you’re not inventive and are pissed off about it, don’t blame me for suggesting there’s a broader world out there. I will let you know that watching True Blood with others will often lead to having sex, since I haven’t found anyone who’s found it “too pornographic” until now. If Skarsgard primes the pump, so to speak, who am I to recoil in horror like MJB? If your delicate sensibilities find that suggestion to be pretentious rather than informative, then that’s your problem. I’d say go take in a ball game instead, but apparently that’s off the menu as well.

      Personally, I don’t think that a show that doesn’t go any further than fangy-romantic soft core humping can ever be termed “too pornographic” , but if you disagree, I gotta wonder if this site may be for you. Hell, I gotta wonder if the world outside of the seminary may be for you.

      • MJB

        Excuse me, Justifiably Insane or whatever your name is, this is the 2nd time you expressed ‘disapproval’ at my opinion and you act like some wannabe talk show psychologist.
        I don’t find the actors particularly sexy on that show so why would I want to see them simulate sex? As someone breaking into the acting profession, I find it sad that Oscar winner, Anna Paquin, has to show tits and ass in order to get an acting gig.
        Maybe you need to watch True Blood in order to have sex with others but I don’t. I don’t need tv or any other accoutrements (how’s that for a big word?) in order to get it.
        This is a second time you basically called me out for being prudish and sheltered. Dude, relax—get laid or something. You don’t even know me.
        I live in NYC. I’ve seen and done a ton of crazier things you couldn’t ever hope to imagine.
        So sit back with a rerun of True Blood and get a blowjob or something.

    • MJB, perhaps in future you really might want to clarify what you mean, because describing the show as “too pornographic” and then following up with “I don’t watch porn” really doesn’t translate to “I don’t find the actors particularly sexy so I don’t want to see them simulate sex”.

      I first suggested you could actually do both, and if you’re so humorless that you see that as “disapproval”, so be it. I did question your characterization of a soft-core series being “too pornographic” and if you see that as “disapproval” and calling you “prudish and sheltered” then I really have to say either get over yourself or else learn to express yourself better, because you put it out there in the first place. BTW, you don’t need TV to watch porn, any more than I need TV to get laid, so you might want to boost that learning curve a little since you seem unclear about that as well. “Accoutrements” is indeed a big word , so have fun and use it whenever you can.

      But if you’re going to get all pissy about total strangers judging you for the preferences you chose to air, then perhaps you might consider dialing your own disapproval about Anna Paquin back down to 11, because you don’t know her, either. Yes, she’s an Oscar winner, but that was 17 years ago, when she was 11. She’d also be the first to tell you that she was raised in New Zealand and she doesn’t have any hangups about appearing nude on camera, regardless of how sad you find that. Actors tend to want to act for a living (which may have escaped you as you’re new to the profession) and she enjoys carrying the series – for which, I should remind you, she won a Golden Globe a few years ago – so I really don’t think she’d agree with your describing it as “showing tits and ass to get an acting gig” . In addition, since she’s now married to her costar I think it’s a safe bet that she’d say she made a good choice.

      And finally, “I live in NYC. I’ve seen and done a ton of crazier things you couldn’t ever hope to imagine.”
      Of course you do, and of course you have. It’s the internet, after all.

      • MJB

        Look, I prefer subtlety, subtext, and nuance in what I watch. I don’t need anything overt whether it’s nudity or violence. That happens to be my preference.
        You obviously like to watch True Blood and have sex while watching it. Good for you. I’m glad something other than being a condescending, pretentious prick gets you stimulated.

        And before True Blood, Anna Paquin’s biggest commercial breakthroughs were the X-Men films so, yeah, she did have to show tits and ass to get the recognition.

        That’s something expected of a lot of actresses and not so much for actors which is unfair. I’m glad Anna’s cool with it and she marrried her costar but what happens when she hits middle-age and a lot of people will judge her by how she looked in this series? I know actresses like Helen Mirren who have done nudity are able to overcome that but most actresses who’ve done it cannot b/c their looks get so scrutinized.

        I find you quite amusing, Justifiably Insane. Keep calm and carry on. You don’t need to be so negative. Hope you get laid tonight. XOXO ;)

    • Nothing wrong with nuance, subtext or the understated, but “I don’t watch porn” hardly expresses that preference, does it? If you don’t like the overt, that’s fine, but if you put “too pornographic” out there don’t get all pissy if someone challenges you on that subjective assessment.

      FYI, Pacquin’s been working since she was a kid, and was nominated for Screen Actor’s Guild and Golden Globe Awards well after X-Men, so your characterization of her needing to “show tits and ass to get the recognition” is yours, and yours alone. So is your assumption that she’ll somehow freak out about being judged and regret it all when she hits middle age – just why would you think she’ll somehow regret showing what a beautiful form she had when she’s older? She’s fine with it now, and is puzzled by people like you who think there’s something wrong with that. Helen Mirren seems of a like mind – not only does she not regret showing her tits and ass in “Age of Consent” back in 1969 when she was on loan from the RSC, she was comfortable enough to show them again in “Calendar Girls” 8 years ago, so I think you can stop worrying about Pacquin’s state of mind when she hits menopause.

      Of course nudity is more expected from women than men in film, since society’s been male dominated for a long time and they determined women were the sex objects they wanted to see. If you want to humanize a male character, take off his pants and show him full-frontal – it worked for Harvey Keitel in “The Piano” (Pacquin again!), but if you try the same thing, like with Kathy Bates in “At Play In The Fields Of The Lord” it’s clear aesthetics still play a big role. And of course it’s “unfair”, but to infer Pacquin had to give into it to get some recognition is ridiculous – and says more about your hangups than it does hers

      OMG, I went and inferred you had hangups. Oh, the horror. Try not to let it keep you from getting laid as well.

  13. Donald Trump

    That’s a piece Missy! :-)

  14. Dan

    I can only imagine the kind of discipline (eating and working out) that would produce a body like that. I am impressed.

    • Sherry

      It’s the kind of all consuming discipline that would make him impossible to date. He’s said he works out twice a day, 6 days a week. I can’t get into a men that are that into how they look.

      • MJB

        Cosign, Sherry. Fit and athletic is one thing but the whole musclehead gym rat look is another. This would be beyond discipline—more like obsession territory.

  15. Joe Manganiello Shirtless Abs Magic Mike Bathing Suit
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Lessee, where’s dat mermaid I’m going to bang?”

  16. testington

    damn he is so fucking hot

  17. celebsloveme

    That guy just doesn’t do it for me. Only the Skarsgard will do it. I may have something irreperably wrong with me.

  18. Noel

    i don’t get the skarsgard appeal…the man is ugly.

    THIS, however? Goddamn GODDAMN!

  19. kulit

    Damn.

  20. kulit

    Damn it, they’re all low-res.

  21. My Right One

    Hot for sure, but in my little world no one does it like The Skarsgard.

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