What you’re looking at is Tom Cruise and Jeremy Renner filming a scene for Mission: Impossible 4 that conveniently includes a romantic midnight swim because here’s an interesting rumor: Jeremy Renner is gay. Which explains why he didn’t die a noble, suffocating death between Jessica Simpson’s breasts, but doesn’t make him any less of a badass for his work in The Hurt Locker. (And The Town from what I hear.) Combine that info with the casting of Lost’s Josh Holloway, a man so ruggedly handsome I find myself wondering if I’m the island, and it’s safe to say this entire movie is nothing but Tom Cruise’s private play-dungeon.
JOSH: So, how do you want me to work this scene, chief?
TOM: Okay, listen up, Jeremy and I are going to distract the bad guys by pretending to Greco-Roman wrestle each other. Every once in a while you’re going to snap one of us in the back with a whip and yell, “The Führer demands man-heat to fuel the Fatherland!”
JOSH: … Finally, something that makes more sense than Lost. I’ll go get the tiny mustache.