“Before you send the first one over, does this angle make me look like I love vagina? Because I do, I love it. Even the tentacles.”
If you had nothing better to do this weekend, you probably caught the Vanity Fair piece touting their upcoming expose into the Church of Scientology‘s failed attempts to “audition” new girlfriends for Tom Cruise after Nicole Kidman and Penelope Cruz turned out to be independent women with free will and fuck that. Well, one of those women have come forward to talk about the “audition” process which wasn’t so much an audition as white-collar slavery with horrible consequences if you don’t obey your master:
Nazanin Boniadi, an Iranian-born, London-raised actress and Scientologist, was selected and dated Cruise from November 2004 until January 2005. Initially she was told only that she had been selected for a very important mission. In a month-long preparation in October 2004, she was audited every day, a process in which she told a high-ranking Scientology official her innermost secrets and every detail of her sex life. Boniadi allegedly was told to lose her braces, her red highlights, and her boyfriend. According to a knowledgeable source, she was shown confidential auditing files of her boyfriend to expedite a breakup. (Scientology denies any misuse of confidential material.) The source says Boniadi signed a confidentiality agreement and was told that if she “messed up” in any way she would be declared a Suppressive Person (a pariah and enemy of Scientology).
Things eventually do go south after Nazanin politely asks Scientology head David Miscaviage to repeat himself because she missed something he said. (No, really, and seriously do yourself a favor and scope out the Vanity Fair piece.) This results in her being immediately cut off from Tom Cruise, which to Scientologists is like being told you can’t hang out with Jesus anymore, and shipped off to their ominous-sounding “Celebrity Centre” presumably because they ran out of engine rooms to lock her in:
When a friend at a Scientology center in Florida, where Boniadi was subsequently sent, asked why she was crying all the time, Boniadi broke down and told her about her relationship with Cruise, which she had been forbidden to do. According to the knowledgeable source, the friend reported her. Boniadi’s punishment was to scrub toilets with a toothbrush, clean bathroom tiles with acid, and dig ditches in the middle of the night. After that she was sent out to sell Scentology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics on street corners. Boniadi and her mother are no longer involved in Scientology.
Naturally, the Church of Scientology immediately denied the whole story, so yesterday former-scientologist Paul Haggis wrote an open letter to Showbiz411 confirming Nazanin’s account:
I’ve met quite a number of people who have been treated shamefully but are afraid to speak out. This story will draw attention because of our fascination with celebrity. Most of the others are just ordinary people whose stories, if told, would not appear in a magazine. They live in fear of retribution, legal, financial or personal, even some famous ones. They fear an incredibly wealthy organization that boasts that it seeks truth, empowers people, brings families together, encourages independent thought and free speech, and champions human rights. I would like to say that i don’t know how its members, many of them good and intelligent people, can remain so purposely blind when they are faced with evidence like this every day, but then I am no one to talk. I was happily blind for many years, so I know the shame that Naz feels.
Now, how all of this led to Katie Holmes, a non-Scientologist at the time, eventually being married to Tom Cruise has yet to be revealed, but I think we all know how that went down
marriage contract mind powers. From there, a five-year-long process of Katie’s father Martin working diligently in a lab with Chris Klein until they finally discovered a way to block Tom’s powerful mind beams.
MARTIN: And so from there, our device will absorb Tom’s projections, convert them into pornographic images of naked women and then fire them back into his psychic center creating, at minimum, a 10-second window which will give us time to instruct Katie to run, so you’re going to have to be ready to move, understood?
CHRIS: But what if he starts flying, Mr. H?
MARTIN: You let me handle that. *cocks shotgun*