Happy Veterans Day! Tom Cruise Says Acting Is Just Like Serving In Afghanistan

By: The Superficial / November 11, 2013

Left to right, Sergeant Thomas Mapother, UAF Volleyball Brigade, with Private Johnathan Depp, 82nd Bolo Tie Division.

While I watch elementary school kids (No Jacko.) sing a tribute to veterans this morning, here’s Tom Cruise stepping in even more shit thanks to his $50 million lawsuit against In Touch. Which is what happens whenever Tom Cruise is put in a situation where he has to give non-scripted human reactions to questions that weren’t pre-screened by a team of Scientology publicists who understand the first rule of Scientology is never talk about Scientology because Scientology is crazy. TMZ reports:

First, the Middle East — Tom says his location shoots are just like serving a tour in Afghanistan, “That’s what it feels like. And certainly on this last movie, it was brutal. It was brutal.”
As for his physical training, Tom said, “There is difficult physical stamina and preparation. Sometimes I’ve spent months, a year, and sometimes two years preparing for a single film.” But the kicker, he adds, “A sprinter for the Olympics, they only have to run two races a day. When I’m shooting, I could potentially have to run 30, 40 races a day, day after day.”

Naturally, Tom’s team has already started claiming he was taken out of context and is a proud supporter of the troops. In fact, if some of them would like Tom Cruise to personally visit them in their bunks, it’d be his honor as a freedom-loving America who will one day vanquish us all with his Tachyon Stare. Via People:

Cruise’s legal team says the quotes made public by their opponents in the $50 million fight are only part of a much longer deposition. They also say an unreleased video made of the proceeding clearly shows that Cruise wasn’t being serious.
“As the video shows, he and the lawyer were laughing at his answer, and, when asked in the next question if the situations were comparable, Tom said, ‘Oh, come on,’ meaning of course not,” Fields continues.

Of course, the presumption here is that obviously Tom Cruise would never compare his work to serving a military tour in the Middle East because he’s a sane and rational man who didn’t just admit that the religion he devotes more time and energy to than his own daughter literally views his ex-wife as Hitler and believes he has the power of telekinesis- holy shit, did that pen just move?! TOM CRUISE LOVES THE TROOPS! HE LOVES THEM SO HARD! I mean.. I SAW GOODIE HOLMES COMMUNING IN THE WOODS WITH XENU!

Photos: Getty / INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN