Happy Veterans Day! Tom Cruise Says Acting Is Just Like Serving In Afghanistan

November 11th, 2013 // 27 Comments
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Left to right, Sergeant Thomas Mapother, UAF Volleyball Brigade, with Private Johnathan Depp, 82nd Bolo Tie Division.

While I watch elementary school kids (No Jacko.) sing a tribute to veterans this morning, here’s Tom Cruise stepping in even more shit thanks to his $50 million lawsuit against In Touch. Which is what happens whenever Tom Cruise is put in a situation where he has to give non-scripted human reactions to questions that weren’t pre-screened by a team of Scientology publicists who understand the first rule of Scientology is never talk about Scientology because Scientology is crazy. TMZ reports:

First, the Middle East — Tom says his location shoots are just like serving a tour in Afghanistan, “That’s what it feels like. And certainly on this last movie, it was brutal. It was brutal.”
As for his physical training, Tom said, “There is difficult physical stamina and preparation. Sometimes I’ve spent months, a year, and sometimes two years preparing for a single film.” But the kicker, he adds, “A sprinter for the Olympics, they only have to run two races a day. When I’m shooting, I could potentially have to run 30, 40 races a day, day after day.”

Naturally, Tom’s team has already started claiming he was taken out of context and is a proud supporter of the troops. In fact, if some of them would like Tom Cruise to personally visit them in their bunks, it’d be his honor as a freedom-loving America who will one day vanquish us all with his Tachyon Stare. Via People:

Cruise’s legal team says the quotes made public by their opponents in the $50 million fight are only part of a much longer deposition. They also say an unreleased video made of the proceeding clearly shows that Cruise wasn’t being serious.
“As the video shows, he and the lawyer were laughing at his answer, and, when asked in the next question if the situations were comparable, Tom said, ‘Oh, come on,’ meaning of course not,” Fields continues.

Of course, the presumption here is that obviously Tom Cruise would never compare his work to serving a military tour in the Middle East because he’s a sane and rational man who didn’t just admit that the religion he devotes more time and energy to than his own daughter literally views his ex-wife as Hitler and believes he has the power of telekinesis- holy shit, did that pen just move?! TOM CRUISE LOVES THE TROOPS! HE LOVES THEM SO HARD! I mean.. I SAW GOODIE HOLMES COMMUNING IN THE WOODS WITH XENU!

Photos: Getty / INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. JC

    Given that Kristin Stewart thinks doing interviews is like being raped, maybe she and Tom should form some kind of support group to talk about the horrible tribulations of being paid shitloads of cash to play pretend.

    I also like the idea that Olympic sprinters’ entire training routines are just made up of running a practice race or two per day and then sitting around on their asses.

  2. This guy must save a lot of money not buying drugs thanks to being so disconnected from reality already

  3. Dox

    Yes Tom, its just like Afghanistan.
    As you tool around in an air conditioned, bullet proof vehicle and sip a mai tai, while that cute blonde (guy or girl, but I’m guessing guy) massages the tension from your shoulders after a long hard day of playing pretend in which you will take home several million dollars….

    Its just like those guys in the military, as they eat their daily ration of MRE’s. Five thousand calories of pure, unmitigated constipation in a bag, and sip their tepid, plastic tasting water, riding around in their recently patched together Humvee, wondering if the dark haired kid in the corner is the one that’s going to call in the IED that blows their convoy up.

    So similar.

  4. Katie Holmes Butt Tight Jeans Suri Playground
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a bad body period!

  5. Lynx

    Nota fan of Tom or scientology but there is a CNN article that looked at the entire court transscript which shows his words are taken out of context. In the same deposition my opposing counsel he says that he know he is just making a movie.

  6. Freebie

    Celebrities are so overrated.

  7. Vice-Chancellor Cardianl Haze Von HOMO DIKKeman XII

    GMD is DTF his sister @this point.

    Fucking goon-boi & his mental illness of believing in a higher-power deity/theist.

    Not that there is anything wrong with being homosexual; Tommy Boy loves cash/control& ‘cruisin’ (why do you think he picked that stage name) more than being authentic.



  8. Vice-Chancellor Cardianl Haze Von HOMO DIKKeman XII

    He eats a BIG cookie & eats a BIG dick everyday~~

  9. Vice-Chancellor Cardianl Haze Von HOMO DIKKeman XII


    And I am out (literally)!

    Peace & Degenerate Blessings…

  10. Jade

    What a strange coincidence! Every time my husband gets deployed, he says he feels just like Tom Cruise!

  11. Spencer

    I’m sure Tommy does believe being an actor is comparable to being in the service durring a war.
    Tommy also believes that invisible alains wonder the earth after being nuke’d inside a volcano, that it is okay to have teams of “investigators” watch it’s membes 24/7, to kidnap and harass former members, and to infiltrate government agencies in attempt to spy & white-wash the his cult’s misdeeds.

    I have no doubt TommyGirl truly believes what he said; he just pissed that he’s been called out on his BS and now has to backpeddle.

  12. tom cruise’s work is never done.
    the evil xenu is strong in afghanistan.

  13. D-chi

    Hey guys, it’s exactly like serving in the military! He played a solider one time, you know.

  14. gigi

    don’t give a f* what what he’s saying about anything, the only thing I care about is: Johnny please step away from Mr. Cruise… please…??

  15. A dedicated actor would volunteer for a few tours in Afghanistan to really get the details of his character right.

  16. eh

    Well, say what you want about Tom Cruise, at least he isn’t a mercenary who volunteered to go kill brown people in a country to be named later because it seemed like a good alternative to paying for college with loans. Point for you, Tom.

  17. Xenu

    Hey Tom..I’m come’n to get you…

    then you can find out what it’s like to be a real solider

  18. Katie Holmes Butt Tight Jeans Suri Playground
    Big Dick Magee
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck Tom’s ignorant ass, oh wait, he’d like that. Umm, fuck him where he breathes….no, that won’t be a bad thing to him either.

  19. Well acting is just as stupid as joining the American military, but at least in acting less innocent people are murdered.

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