Tiger Woods Denies Cheating On Lindsey Vonn With Amanda Boyd

“You’re squeezing my dick so hard it’s gonna pop off okay I’ll smile. CHEESE!”

Golf is boring as shit, so thankfully one of its rapidly fading champions is an emotionless fuckbot thus allowing those of not thrilled by a man in khakis hitting a tiny ball across a giant lawn to be entertained. Which brings us to Tiger Woods’ penis yet again who swears that despite claims by the National Enquirer, it did not enter fellow golfer Jason Dufner’s ex-wife Amanda Boyd when it was supposed to still be inside Lindsey Vonn. Golfweek reports:

Woods’ agent Mark Steinberg told Golfweek at the Greenbrier Classic in White Sulphur Springs, W.Va., where Woods will begin play beginning Thursday, that the report is “a complete fabrication.”
“I couldn’t deny this more vehemently,” Steinberg said. “There is less than zero strand of truth to it. 100 percent false. 100 percent fabricated and zero credence. Absolutely, unequivocally untrue. They are not even acquaintances. It’s absolutely ridiculous.”

Of course, there’s an even easier way of figuring this out:

1. Is Amanda Boyd a hooker?
2. Is Amanda Boyd a porn star?
3. Is Amanda Boyd a professional skier who Tiger Woods posed for a couples photoshot with so people would forget he banged all those hookers and porn stars?

If the answer to all of these is no, then Tiger Woods did not have sex with her. Yet.

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