Tiger Woods ‘Re-Proposed’ To Elin Nordegren, More Importantly, These Bikini Photos

January 18th, 2013 // 71 Comments
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Considering the last person Tiger Woods banged since his divorce from Elin Nordegren is this winner, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’s aggressively trying to get back her back even if it essentially costs him over half a billion dollars to only have sex with her vagina. *looks at bikini photos* Yup, this all checks out. Via Jezebel:

The shamed sportsman, who was exposed for his serial cheating behind Elin’s back in 2009, is desperate to win her back, the magazine claims, offered a $200 million prenup to the stunning Swede.
And she is said to be considering the proposal, but only if he includes a $350 million anti-cheating clause.
Elin, 33, who had children Samantha, five, and three-year-old Charlie with the ace, won a $110 million settlement when she divorced Woods.

ELIN: *rolls off of him* Oh, Tiger, I missed you! Thank you for that wonderful proposal.
TIGER: Uh, yeah, you’re welcome. So listen, silly question, did you do something different to your vagina? It seems, wow, how do I say this? It seems really, really boring.
ELIN: Nope, same as it ever was.
TIGER: Right… Can you excuse me? I suddenly need to scream “FUCK” as loud as humanly possibly from the balcony. Don’t wait up.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Schmidtler

    Once in a blue moon I have a weird dream where I’m banging my ex, then I wake up and remember why I divorced her. What kind of retard is Tiger Woods, to think this is a smart plan? This gold digger raped him for over $100 million, went after him swinging a golf club, and helped send his career into a tailspin. And now he thinks it’s smart to try and get back with her, even after she says only if you give me a few hundred million more? Can somebody let him know there’s a universe full of other, younger, hotter gold diggers that will gladly bone him regularly for a helluva lot less money?

    • JC

      Yeah, I’m sure cheating on his super-hot wife with truck stop skanks had nothing to do with the fall of his career. He’s just a misunderstood genius.

      • Actually his career was at its peak when he was cheating on her, when he stopped it went into decline. If anything he needs to start banging dozens of pornstars again.

    • Cock Dr

      He (and maybe his PR team) may have some delusional idea that if they can pull this off it will restore Mr Woods to his former endorsement fame and glory days.
      Maybe he should just start winning some golf tournaments…when was the last time he won one? I think it’s been a while.

  2. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pretty Good

  3. Nonny Moose

    You know, I wouldn’t so much care if it was boring.


    An anti-cheating clause….WTF IS THAT??????

    • dickless1

      It’s called a Post Nup. You do it when you screw up badly and you want to stay married. It is very onerous. Please don’t ask how I know

  5. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one fine Lady considering 2 kids,MILF. So my question is why would Tiger fuck so many fugly whores? Unless she didn’t want to do some nasty KK shit.(No.1)
    She also got a shit load of $ off Wood ,you are one dumb ass ,Mr Wood.

    • Burt

      Yup. My former colleague, an older gentleman who was always very serious and professional and spoke as if he was representing a client, even when we’d go out for a beer, had this to say the next morning the story broke, “Did you hear about Tiger Woods? You’ve seen his wife, right? She’s gorgeous! Would you ever cheat on her? He’s a #@%$ing idiot!”. LOL

  6. Deacon Jones

    Once a pervert, always a pervert.

    I’m speaking from experience on this one.

  7. You have to be pretty fucking stupid to believe that Tiger actually did this. I don’t understand that losers that fawn over this woman and act like her shit does not stink and Tiger is so lucky to have her. She is a woman, she is going to get old like all humans and he is a billionaire/near billionaire, he can get damn near any woman he wants.

    She is just a fucking gold digger, as soon as she got a ton of cash from Tiger, she went right on to another billionaire.

  8. I’d counter offer the 350mil anti-cheating clause in a pre-nup with a 150mil cash signing bonus and an understanding I’m going to bang waitresses at Perkins.

  9. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Elin makes me proud to be a Swede!

    • Some Norwegian gave me thumbs down. I thumbs down your whole country, so there.

    • I’ve never understood this line of thinking. You’re proud to have happened to be born on the same piece of land she happened to be born on?

      Have you had a hand in her existence, or success, or appearance? No? Then you have nothing to be ‘proud’ of.

      You *should* be ashamed of your petty comment about Norway though.

  10. JK

    I know this is out of context for this site, but I just read that story too and if it’s also true they’re enjoying each others company again maybe it’s not a bad idea. I think the problem with Tiger was his popularity exploded and he being all immature and a moron couldn’t handle it. As such all these bitches threw themselves to him so they could play with his putter and he got caught up in it and then caught. For what she did get of his fortune, hardly a gold digger. If he’s offering that up to get her back and because of his serial (not just one whore) cheating I don’t blame her throwing back a 1/2 your fortune clause if he pulls the snake out of the cage again. Personally if I were him, and this story is solid, and I wanted a woman like that back you do it. Losing that kind of money is more than enough motivation especially when the mental backlash of this shit has wrecked his ability to play right as most his money is behind him, not in front thanks to his wandering snake.

    • You think doing jack shit all day with no job, lying on your back and pumping out a couple of kids and collection a $100 million for it after a few years is not a gold digger? Get the fuck out of here.

      • Of course,calling Ellen a ‘gold digger’,when she’s the one who had been pursued aggressively by sex addict pervert Tiger Wood.For what purpose exactly?
        Love,loyalty and stability?
        3 words that probaby been missing from Tiger wood vocabulary.
        Pumping(painfully) out a few children for serial adulterer not to mention the possible risk of STDs and Aids is enough to warrant at least a a huge amount of reward.

    • You’ve missing a bit of backstory. His father was a serial adulterer who would fuck anything that slowed down to a walk – when that’s the sort of same-sex behavioral model you have as a kid, chances are you’ll do exactly the same when you grow up. Woods’ immaturity was a nightmare to his handlers and PR team – he’d make remarks about his dick size to interviewers when they were trying to promote him as a clean, upstanding young black athlete who truly deserved to excel at a very white country-club sport purely due to his talent and upstanding squeaky-clean character. Naturally, what would help his image there was to marry and become a family man.

      When he was first introduced to Nordegren she was invlved with someone else and wouldn’t give him the time of day – which shows you should always trust your instincts. He pursued her until she married him. She’s not a gold digger just because she worked as a model – her parents insisted all their kids work to pay for their schooling. Her mother was a Swedish cabinet minister and is now a governor of some province whose name escapes me; her father is a radio journalist. And when she found out the “family man” was not only cheating on her, but was a carbon copy of his old man and needed to indiscriminately fuck anything, anywhere, several times a day, she refused to play along with the myth the Woods PR machine was desperate to hang onto and kicked him to the curb.
      She earned every fucking cent of what she got in the divorce – she went on tour and made a stable home life for him and their kids everywhere he went. She certainly did more than her part to make him look like a loving, grounded daddy and devoted husband instead of a fuck-hungry immature jock, which, talent aside, is the only reason he got all those lucrative endorsement contracts.

      If it’s at all true that he wants another turn in the marital spin cycle, I think the main reason would be because she pulled the plug on him. i think he can’t stand being the one who gets left, and has to be the one in control of the women in his life. Also, they had two kids together – what with his father horndogging around, being married to Nordegren might have been the only stable home life he ever had, so it may have been a novelty he now feels nostaglic about. Most probably he misses it simply because he can’t have it – like when someone tells you can’t have something you actually weren’t all that hot for the first place, the very fact that you’re denied it just makes you lust after it all the more. Me, I think he has such a low boredom threshold that Fish is right – he’ll really regret it 15 minutes after she takes him back because then he’ll switch gears and be all nostalgic for a short stack of IHOP waitresses..

      • “Woods’ immaturity was a nightmare to his handlers and PR team – he’d make remarks about his dick size to interviewers when they were trying to promote him as a clean, upstanding young black athlete who truly deserved to excel at a very white country-club sport purely due to his talent and upstanding squeaky-clean character.”

        I’m thinking Tiger should thank Adonai that he’s not a Jew.

      • Hannah

        Great fucking essay.

  11. If Tiger really did this then he’s a fucking asshole and shouldn’t be surprised when she takes him for all that he’s worth. She already got over 100 million for doing nothing what the fuck more does she want?

  12. Man, you could plow through fucking miles of high-calibre trim with a half-billion dollars. Alternately, he could literally bang enough “Subway Dinner-Class” skanks until he wore his dick down to disappear completely in a puff of dust.

  13. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Oooh, squeezy!!

  14. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:


  15. So, if I understand this correctly, Elin is, in reality, a whore, and for the time being they are negotiating price?

    • Churchill: “Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?”
      Socialite: “I certainly would, Sir Winston. ”
      Churchill: “Would you sleep with me for five pounds?”
      Socialite: “Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!” Churchill: “Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.”

  16. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s worth whatever he has to pay!

  17. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, she’s rather plain looking to me, would not do a double take.
    Plus, I’m not a fan of fake breasts, Pass.

  18. The difference between men and women is that with the exception of Tom Arnold, we will not fuck an ugly woman for money and or fame. I mean come on, this girl marrying and reproducing with Tiger Woods? What a way to ruin your bloodline. Her kids make OJ and Nicoles look like models. Tigers kids were going to be ugly no matter who reproduced with.

    If there were any doubts this girl was not a gold digging whore, the fact she still talks to him and this offer is even possible certainly eliminated all of them.

    Tiger might as well just buy air time during the Super Bowl making his offer public while standing behind a podium dressed like a sap.

    • Sorry, Robert. I’ve been through a similar situation, and you’re wrong. Of course they still speak. They have children together, fer fucksake. Whichever way this goes they will undoubtedly still be speaking to each other 50 years from now.

  19. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    damn! i’d bang her tigerstyle

  20. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s hot but not worth $350 mil to put a ring on. Tiger’s just desperate these days.

    Plain looking serving girls must have unionized and banned Tiger.

    • Burt

      It’s all relative. 350 million for Tiger Woods is like 50 bucks for you. It’s a third of what you own, but it’s still small enough that it won’t make a difference.

  21. Katie

    DA-yum.. Nice ta-tas.

  22. It’ll never happen, IMHO.
    She would be labeled a hoe by all self respecting women on earth.

  23. rrr

    i think she is very pretty but has awful taste in men eeek. maybe he still loves her and can see she has good qualities that he needs in his life- so many of you sink to the lowest common denominator and its quite sad i feel sorry for you when you see everything as a transaction. i feel bad for him because he must be suffering alot but he also just seems likesuch a gross human being he makes my skin crawl.

    • Burt

      That’s the thing. It’s not as if she’s hurting for money or if she’s unattractive. She can probably have any man she wants.

  24. Gosat Chesea

    Tiger and Lance Armstrong should do a road trip movie. Dumb and Dumbererer .

  25. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck you, Tiger. You’re the dumbest piece of shit ever.

  26. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t blame the guy. This is one fine lady.

  27. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:


  28. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    I know for every beautiful woman a million guys want to bang there is one guy tired of actually banging her but damn Tiger, what the hell is wrong with you?!

  29. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    I am pretty sure I could have some nasty fun with that; If she would let me of course.

  30. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to think she’s hot, but then I imagine her talking like the Swedish chef from the Muppet show.

  31. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful, perfect body.

  32. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    max hole
    Commented on this photo:

    perfect, healthy, athletic figure.

  33. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof one again for every good looking girl, there’s a guy who’s tired of her _____.

  34. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    some black guy
    Commented on this photo:


  35. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    she is a beautiful woman!

  36. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    Love her body! such a pretty face too

  37. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:


  38. Elin Woods Bikini Nordegren Tiger Ex
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s most likely a dead starfish.
    Hence the pornstars.

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