This Was Holding Adam Levine’s Unit

January 13th, 2011 // 32 Comments

Adam Levine recently posed nude for Cosmopolitan UK, but with his man-parts conveniently covered up by the disembodied hand of his girlfriend, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Anne Vyalitsyna-Iwasorderedinthemail. So here’s the two of them filming a Maroon 5 video in LA yesterday where they apparently have sex in a bed on top of a building or something. Because that’s realistic. Just once I’d like to see a music video where a guy gets laid behind a dumpster only to realize he’s drunk and it was a hobo the whole time. Tell that tale, Hollywood!

Also, pay me for my notes. I have tons of them and they’ll vouch for me behind the bowling alley. Just say “Crying Whisperwillow with Hands So Soft” sent you. — It’s a codename.

Photos: Splash News


  1. That Guy


  2. Facebook me

    He is ugly, she is hot with small boobs..


  3. Adam Levine Anne Vyalitsnya
    Mortimer Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    I spot nipple!

  4. She can hold my unit anytime. She will have to use both hands though :-)

  5. Mortimer Duke

    Small boobs, but great nipples.

  6. Facebook me

    What is with her in photo #24 wearing a dude’s underwear. Looks like she is sporting a bigger package than he is!

    • Just another Superfish Loser

      I agree. Couldn’t they have gotten her a NEW pair of underwear? These look like they ripped them off a guy and are probably complete with skid mark and all.

  7. xanax in my beer

    She looks like a country singer/mom. Who’s adam levine?

  8. dude

    those are the titties of the under 11 or over 58 crowd. Really, what’s she doing with those?

  9. Lunchtime, engorged, can’t control my space horniness any longer.

  10. Dan

    Where can I order one of these?

    I’ll take two!

  11. Tom

    Typical blonde monkeyface.

  12. HeyNow

    What’s the adrress of where she came from?

  13. Adam Levine Anne Vyalitsnya
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Enjoy it while it lasts. Nothing does.

  14. lightdragon

    if that was covering my penis with her hands in a photoshoot like that , i would be either embrassed or yell out photoshop. those hands are awlful.

  15. dR

    He really needs to ditch that early 90′s “Color Me Badd” haircut he has going on. She’s kinda hot… for him… I guess… 6 vodka & Red Bulls in a dark bar, you never know where the night might take you.

  16. See Alice

    Anne has a nice ass ! Not like the humungous stink asses often found here .

  17. dude

    aren’t “Maroon 5″ and “Misery” synonyms?

  18. Adam Levine Anne Vyalitsnya
    Reggie Rhino
    Commented on this photo:

    Judging from these pictures I can see why they only showed her hand. Horse face, small tits and crappy hair! Rock stars used to get better looking women.

  19. Adam Levine Anne Vyalitsnya
    Commented on this photo:

    She should be holding her own unit

  20. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Fish, I hate you for bringing up the whole mail brides thing when you post about Russian women. I really really hate you for that, dude.

  21. manos

    I liked it back when one-hit-wonders knew when to make a graceful exit. No one buys his shitty music anymore, he should be fucking off!!!

  22. wim

    yep, no time to waste.

  23. Adam Levine Anne Vyalitsnya
    Commented on this photo:

    Please donate to the Salvation Army! People out there need your help!

  24. dontlooknow

    Thank you again for reminding me of the excellent photos of Adam in the buff. Yay! Naked men! I’m glad that he’s got a cute chick to bang him and not some skanky hot-in-Hollywood reality show loser.

  25. Adam Levine Anne Vyalitsnya
    Commented on this photo:

    Plaid Zombie despises Adam Levine and his muclucs.

  26. Adam Levine Anne Vyalitsnya
    Commented on this photo:

    Um, he has a woody. Oh, and his tattoos make him look like a douchebag.

  27. HCook

    Ladies and Gentlemen, he popped a woody.

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