This is What Slash’s Wife Kicked

February 7th, 2011 // 276 Comments

Just when you thought performing with the Black Eyed Peas last night was the most offensive thing Slash could ever do, it turns out Samantha Slopes (above) is the woman his wife Perla Ferrar decided to kick in the stomach backstage at an Ozzy concert thus defying all laws of logic and physics. TMZ reports:

Sources close to Slopes tell us … the model claims she and Slash had interacted online multiple times in the past year and she went to the Ozzy concert to watch Slash perform.
Slopes has told friends she was watching the show in the crowd when Slash and his wife Perla suddenly approached her … and Slash told her, “You caused a lot of trouble.”
Slopes claims Perla suddenly kicked her in the stomach — and had to be dragged away by security.

I’ve been sitting here trying to wrap my head around the logistics of how an attack like this is even physically possible, but all I keep coming up with is Slash forgoing rock star ass to talk to fat chicks on the Internet all day when his wife’s not around, which is just messed up. I’ve read stories about kids with cancers that are less depressing. I’m not saying someone needs to take Slash out to the shed and put him down, but I’m also not saying Ted Nugent wouldn’t be into it. We should feel him out.

superficial

  1. Sharkbait

    HORF

  2. Samantha Slopes
    Commented on this photo:

    Put her back in the waaaaaater!

  3. Amanda

    omg she’s not thin and has made a career out of her size. Let’s make fun of her and compare her to a manetee!

    Assholes.

    • Tricia

      I agree why is it okay to make fun of fat people?

      • Motorboat Captain

        It’s ok to make fun of fat people because, unlike other minority groups, their problem can be solved by going for a jog now and then and cutting back to one milkshake a day.

        That being said, why the hell haven’t there been any Queen jokes yet? Son, I am disappoint.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

      • Let’s be clear on something. Whether you think it’s ok to make fun of fat people or not, that is not what this is about.

        This is a grossly morbidly obese woman who is trying to act sexy and selling photos of herself with her clothes (tent) off. She is INVITING people to look at her…so what, now we’re bad people if we don’t like what we see? Allah knows I didn’t ask or want to see this sow’s giant mutant udders.

        She wasn’t born this way, she had to gorge on huge amounts of food and lead a sedentary lifestyle for decades to get this fat. All while other people are starving. It’s funny how some people will look down their noses at people who drive SUV’s, but will defend the biological equivalent.

      • testington

        it is OK to make fun of fat people because their problem is that they are weak willed or lazy. Eat a balanced diet and do some physical activity and you will loose weight. It is also OK to make fun of them because, like smokers, their fat asses cost us all a lot more in health care. Obesity and obesity related illnesses are a huge drain on the health care and health insurance industries, I shouldn’t have to pay more for health care so you can keep eating McDonald’s extra value meals because you’re too lazy to cook a healthy meal.

      • Because they are fat and look like Manatee’s….

      • teresa

        Fucking fat people suck.

    • Archie

      Spoken like a true fat chick.

    • Arlinda

      Feelin’ ya.

    • Ruth

      Yea. :|

    • Pshhh

      Preach.

    • GravyLeg

      Fat chick cashing in on instant publicity of an obvious lie is OK though right?

    • Drew

      You’re right. Obesity should be disregarded and more importantly, praised if you’re making money from it.

      Fucking dipshit.

    • Cardinal Fang

      I agree! Let’s see him/them put a bucket of chicken in with some pics of the President or Halle Berry. Hate is hate man.,

    • GravyLeg

      Check your stats folks. Fat asses are not a minority in America anymore but rather becoming the norm… And stop the comparisons to racial hate. No one chooses their race. Everyone chooses what they put in their mouth and how much. Being fat is a choice.

      • Katie

        Being fat is not ALWAYS a choice. Why don’t you get off your high horse and get a reality check. What’s your BMI? If you don’t want to see it, don’t look at it. Hate is hate! I hope all of you go to hell for the way you talk.

        P.S. – and no I’m not overweight either (5’7″ and 140 lbs)

      • ally

        yes because it couldn’t be a mental disease at all, some people are fat because their METABOLISMS don’t work properly as other people, what about skinny bitches who eat a whole shit load and then don’t workout at all, what about them, are they horrible people too or do they get a pass. and by the way hate is hate. i grew up fat from the time was six, because stupid people like you and in my own family made me feel like i was a NOTHING!!! i’ve since lost weight by not listening to the BULLSHIT. and though i know i will never be thin, size 4 or 6, because my BODY wont let me have THAT CHOICE! i can be happy at a size 10 or 12. the real reason why people are big has much more to do with the fact that they “can’t put the fork down”. why don’t you stop being a ignorant ass like the rest of the haters educate yourself, have respect and maybe you will get some in return. shame is the biggest cause for obesity, not fast food, shame. thats all i have to say!

      • Rawrrrrr.

        For some, yes, and for this blimp who thinks huge tits = self-esteem, overriding all else, yes. As much as I get pissed off when I see someone complain about being fat and then stuff their faces (or worse yet, walk around proud of that fact), not *all* fat people eat garbage, and the fact that so many people automatically assume that as the cause (with bias) frustrates the fucking shit out of me.

        I was 120 lbs my whole adult life, until about 7 years ago. Now I’m 214 and pissed at my broken-ass body. I had my damaged gallbladder removed, then was diagnosed with PCOS, and then diagnosed with hypothyroidism, all over a period of a few years. I eat well and I gain. I eat FUCK ALL and I still gain. I have to minimise carbs (thyroid) and fats (gallbladder). Fish, chicken, tofu, veggies. Repeat. It sucks. I crave everything because I barely eat any of it. The thyroid meds make me bloated to the point where I look pregnant, and the only treatment for PCOS at my age is birth control, which makes weight loss hard all on its own. And I *do* exercise.

        Yes, there are a lot of lazy fat fucks out there, but being fat is not *always* a choice.

        I could literally starve myself and I would just die fat and malnourished. ‘Yay’.

    • RichPort

      “not thin”? That’s like saying Corky is “not smart”… When you can use a monster trucker tire as an anklet, I would say “not thin” doesn’t come close to covering it…

      • seth rogen's vagina

        Now get on your bike and ride!

      • Johnny Cage

        Alright you guys listen…From now on you all don’t make fun of Kim Kardashian, Coco, Christina Hendricks and them. Those chicks aren’t even fat and they have one of the most boner inducing bodies I’ve seen and they are perfectly shapely.

        Even with your criticisms of Miss Slopes body, you all lose so much credibility with the way you guys make fun of any female who isn’t 75lbs.

      • Johnny Cage is Gay

        Go fuck yourself.

      • Johnny Cage

        I don’t need to fuck myself. I have your mom and kid sister to do that for me.

    • teresa

      A manatee? How bout you drill for methane on that.

      • Johnny Cage you made a valid point and should go fuck yourself? Makes sense…
        Everyone’s “allowed” to make fun of whoever they want, morally though, we shouldn’t bully anybody and it usually stems from low self esteem. Coming from a “fat” size 14 girl that grew up to a size 4 woman and I still feel FAT. Wonder why,,, oh right cuz Kim Kardashian is considered a cow.

      • Johnny Cage

        The militant queers here consider everyone who isn’t anorexic as a “cow”. That’s why it’s sad when they flip batshit on anyone who challenges their perception of how Kim or Christina are “over weight”

  4. Samantha Slopes
    norteco
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks hot in this pic

  5. Zanna

    What I find confusing is this chic has less cellulite than Misha Barton.

  6. Hemingway

    WHITE WHALE…HOLY GRAIL.

  7. Drundel

    Wow…

  8. That Guy

    She can probably KO Slash’s wife with a backhand. :P

  9. she looks like a 14 yo boy. who ate a hippopotamus.

  10. Zanna

    You’re right, Amanda…we shouldn’t make fun of manatees.

    • doodles

      LEAVE THE MANATEES ALONE! PLEEEEAASE! *cries passionately*

    • YOU HEARTLESS FUCKERS!!! What has the Florida Manatee ever done to deserve this sort of treatment? Manatees are peace loving creatures who eat nothing but weeds, grasses and small mollusks!!! To compare that poor manatee to this, this, this … THING … is completely inappropriate!!! Samantha Slopes is an abomination!!! Her attempts to reveal herself in a sexual manner give peace loving, Morally just manatees a bad name. Next time you see a manatee do not call it a whore or slut based on the pictures shown here today.

  11. Well, in defense of Slash’s wife, if she had wanted to kick Slopes, it would’ve been almost impossible NOT to kick her in the stomach…

    (and yes, I feel awful for having made that joke)…

    • Jennyjenjen

      You only said what the rest of us were thinking. And the obvious about Amanda up at the top here.. But I’ll let someone else verbalize those thoughts.

      • Jenny, you mean Amanda up there is hurt by the musings of a bucnh of internet posters who make fun of fat women because she, in turn, is an example of a fat person? Ergo Rubinesque? Portly? Plump? Obese? Singularly Curved (Round)?

      • TomFrank

        I thought the rest of us were thinking, “How could she hit her in the stomach when those tits were in the way?”

  12. adolf hitler

    titties n mouth only. no vajayjay.

  13. So did his wife kick him TOO? It takes TWO to tango…

  14. Samantha Slopes
    castallare
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel like someone should report this to PETA

  15. jojo

    Ladies this is exactly what NOT to look like. And before anyone says ‘ there are men that have fetishes’, remember there are men that like to fuck barnyard animals and corpses too, do you really want to be lumped into that category?

    • Mortimer Duke

      Ha ha ha ha ha!

    • GravyLeg

      This isn’t a barnyard one?

      • Mandi

        Yes yes, agreed. This is disgusting. The only problem is a lot of men look like this and it’s perfectly ok. How bout y’all start working out too. K thanks.

    • Johnny Cage

      Yeah but remember there are women who also hump corpses, animals, practice painful sex (some of which are too repulsive even for me), and even enjoy defecating on men. Whether that be done physically, verbally, or often financially.

      But since twats like Oprah, Ashley Judd, and the View whores say that women are superior to men, people now think it’s ok to look down on males as if they are lepers.

  16. seth

    WOW she has a lot of flesh!

  17. Samantha Slopes
    Erica
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a cute face. If I was into fat girls I would like her.

  18. Samantha Slopes
    J
    Commented on this photo:

    I definitly thought twice when going to click “view full size”

  19. Samantha Slopes
    Commented on this photo:

    she should give half of those to kacey jordan

  20. guy rossi

    I nearly shit myself when I saw the manetee pic

  21. Zanna

    Good thing shes wearing a protective cup.

  22. Samantha Slopes
    Wikipeteia
    Commented on this photo:

    And Jessica Simpson, too?!

  23. Amy

    She’s a fat pig, blah blah blah.

    That being said, physically, Slash isn’t much of a catch either.

  24. grobpilot

    Is it for certain Slash’s wife was dragged out by security, or did she get sucked into the folds after making contact? Love the manatee pic.

  25. The manatee is a REAL manatee with REAL curves! THIS is what a manatee looks like…

    Get over it, haters…

    • Peanutty

      All you people who think that Manatee’s look like “sea world” prototypes need to get out of mommie’s basement! Real manatees have feelings (although not much, since their nerve endings are padded with fat)

      • These losers have probably never even been with a REAL manatee…just their own hand, some lotion, and a bunch of manatee pictures in a magazine…

        That having been said, I’m dating a manatee that is 10x hotter than the manatee in the pic…BE JEALOUS, SUCKAS…

  26. Danklin

    Model??? WTF is she a model for, a tent?

  27. Milpool.

    Did… Did she feel it?

  28. great tits!

  29. DogBoy

    Slash… how the mighty have fallen.

  30. Samantha Slopes
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    How’d you like to haul those sacks of wet cement around all day? Ouch.

  31. Oh Snap

    Hey, hey… I’m getting mix emotions on this one. the manatee picture made me laugh really hard, but at the same time it isn’t right making fun of her.. I mean at least she’s confident enough to showcase what her mama gave her, right? and at the same time, I want say “baby got back… all over.”

  32. Ohhhhhh yeah

    I’d hit it.

  33. Lady Blah Blah

    She’s curvy, and any man who doesnt’ find her incredibly hot must be gay and live in his mother’s basement. Or at least that’s the kind of BS we hear when a guy here has the audacity to say that Christina Hendricks is overweight and that he doesn’t find Kim Kardashian’s grotesquely fat ass a turn on.

    • Christina Hendricks is unquestionably “overweight”…but this is a category that almost needs new letters added to the alphabet to describe. This chick is disgustingly fat.

    • The Listener

      Christina Hendricks and Kim Kardashian are just curvacious women who are not stick figure thin. Samantha Slopes has a pretty face, but she’s morbidly obese. There is a huge difference between her size and the sizes of Christina and Kim.
      There are obviously men who are attracted to Slope’s body type, too; otherwise, she wouldn’t be making money as a model.

      • Lady Blah Blah

        Listener, I accept your point about the huge difference between the size of Slopes vs the sizes of Hendricks and Kardashian. But surely you would agree that there is a middle ground between “curvacious women” and women who are “stick figure thin”? That’s my point, that a lot of comments that show up at The Supe suggest that a lot of people think that women are either “curvacious” like Hendricks and KK, or must be “stick figure thin” if not anorexic looking, and that men who aren’t turned on by women the sizes of Hendricks and KK must be gay, only attracted to women with bodies like 12 year old boys, etc. It’s this false dichotomy that I don’t get.

      • I agree with Blah Blah. Though Hendricks is not as obese as this abomination is, she must still be considered overweight. Unfortunately, overweight is becoming the new ‘average’ in America which is a sad commentary itself.

        Middle ground between anorexic and Overweight would be AVERAGE, say a size 6 – 8, and a size 4 would be considered thin.

      • teresa

        Put back the 20# of fat rolls that Kim had lipo’d off her slow moving fat old lady body and she’d make an excellant sex toy for a blue whale.

  34. Bucky Barnes

    Slash is obviously a man who loves some manatee & A.

  35. Some people say ‘Who’s he..or she? What’s that?’ It’s fat.

  36. GrandDragon

    Slash is half-black, that explains his love for the white fatties.

  37. Bucky Barnes

    Maybe Slash has found an economic way to engage in bigamy… in this case it would only require one woman.

  38. Samantha Slopes
    Wadebing
    Commented on this photo:

    Manatee? More like “Man-that’s-gross!”

  39. Samantha Slopes
    jim x
    Commented on this photo:

    Not Safe For Wank.

  40. Deacon Jones

    Did anyone else immediately picture her doing a cannonball into the pool?

    Besides Amanda?

  41. Bob Barker

    Her tits remind me of Kim Kardashian’s ass. And the manatee reminds me of her sister Khloe… but the manatee is cuter.

    • horn dog

      “Her tits remind me of Kim Kardashian’s ass” except for the absence of razor bumps, smegma, and pee.

  42. Samantha Slopes
    Mortimer Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    Pwa ha ha ha ha ha! I died when I saw this pic. But was of course resurrected.

  43. Mortimer Duke

    This shit right here is sending exactly the wrong message. Why should I eat right and take care of myself when I can be a super huge fat ass and still snag some famous aging rocker?

    In the end though, the joke is on Mrs Slash as her foot was eaten off and dissolved in the “juggmasters” belly. Im sure if we check her belly buttons we will find several feet, a prosthetic arm, some car keys and all the fat Jared from Subway lost.

  44. Savalas

    B cups? Maybe even C?

  45. GravyLeg

    No way Slash’s wife kicked that creature. The chances of surviving a Cape Buffalo attack are already dismally low.

  46. Samantha Slopes
    The Listener
    Commented on this photo:

    Ditto.

  47. babooda

    I think we just found Jimmy Hoffa……he came flying out of one of her folds of fat when she was kicked the stomach!

    • Shecky Hemlock

      A Jimmy Hoffa joke? Seriously? This is the 21st fucking century for chrissake…get some better material, babooda…

      “Jimmy Hoffa”…sheesh…

      • Aw, c’mon, it’s not like he referenced Judge Crater, and if he updated it to “Madeleine McCann” that really wouldn’t be funny. Not that this was, either, but you know what I mean.

  48. In Slash’s defense…we know damn well these were NOT the photos she sent him during their “online conversations”.

  49. MarkM

    So wait a second…Slash’s wife kicked Selma Blair in the stomach?!?

  50. RichPort

    If she could swallow a dozen kielbasa in a sitting, I doubt anyone’s gonna make her feel it…

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