The Situation Sells Lollipops Now

October 17th, 2011 // 41 Comments

And they suck… *puts on shades* … as much as I do.

HYEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

File this one under the absolutely straightest thing you’ve read all day. It practically owns a hunting cabin. Via The Sugar Factory:

Sorrentino’s sweet treat is a one-of-a-kind haute lollipop stick, designed to resemble the Italian national flag with its stacked rhinestones of red, white and green. The Situation Signature Couture Pop is available for purchase in Sugar Factory stores at The Mirage, Paris Las Vegas and Miracle Mile inside Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino.

I’m not one for macho displays asserting how strappingly heterosexual I am – Did I mention strappingly? – but I can safely say that if someone dared asked me in all my masculinity to design a “haute couture lollipop,” you better believe that shit would have taffeta. I’m talking crushed.

Photos: Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Richard McBeef

    I picture some automated assembly line robot double punching his asshole with every lollipop before twirling it across snooki’s taint and into the plastic wrapper.

  2. it had to be said

    Butt plug, lollipop, potato, puhtato.

    • Cock Dr

      A flavored butt plug…for sucking!
      Life dishes out it’s own revenge on this loser. You know he spent all the money, and soon there won’t be any more coming in. The fifteen minutes are OVER.

  3. The Situation Lollipop Sugar Factory
    cubssuck
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he wear his watch like that? Because he is a douche bag,that’s why. Has it been fifteen minutes yet?

  4. My Left Nut

    SUCKERRRR!!

    Somebody had to say it.

  5. Any Guy

    the real fun is guessing which Jersey Shore Douche will die first, will it be Snooki from colo-rectal cancer? J-Wow from herpes of the AIDS of the HPV of the cervix? My guess is this stupid fucker because he won’t be able to deal with his 15min of fame being gone, and before the repo-man gets his Bentley he’s gonna drive it into a wall at 150 mph. can’t WAIT.

  6. Frank Burns

    Its not a lollipop, its a bento ball on stick.

  7. Takes like Sookie

  8. “Molded from a life-sized casting of one of Snookie’s herpes blisters.”

  9. Deacon Jones

    The finely balanced see-saw of FAME to LAUGHIN STOCK, has begun tipping the other way. (See Vanilla Ice).

    This momentum increases with time. Might want to stop buying Ferrari’s you silly shit.

  10. skunk

    fuckin scumbag

  11. lily

    disgusting. cant wait to see what his fried skin looks like in 20 years. him and the rest of them all need to be shot. just looking at any of them makes me feel more embarrassed than i already am being from new jersey

  12. Venom

    I really could have gone the rest of the day, hell the rest of my life without seeing this dickhead.

  13. oh dear

    This douche cock can’t even manage to get his watch band resized. Just imagine it flapping up and down his arm.

  14. D-chi

    I hate the Situation, but I love lollipops. I’m a little torn here.

  15. Schmidtler

    The Situation’s lollipops are loaded with penicillin to help fight all those nasty std’s.

  16. Gilbert Lowell

    Someone needs their lolipop licked !

  17. princess party pants

    he needs to be punched. that is all.

  18. *Cocksuckers lollipops

  19. jane

    Was that first part a CSI Miami opening sequence reference? If so, you are my hero.

  20. Problem?

    A supposedly straught man with his own line of lollipops? He is that desperate to rake in as much money as possible?

    I….just can’t even.

  21. Pssst, kid. You want some candy? Just come over here, I’ve got some more in my van. Hey, don’t worry, you can trust me. Just look in my eyes. Do I look like someone who could ever hurt you? Do I look like someone that could possibly be evil? Nah, of course n…hey, wait, where ya goin’? Get back here you #$%#$% piece of @#$#@$ @#$@^*%^%^!

  22. Marceelf

    The only candy I would buy from that man is a Fentanyl Lollipop. But I would buy that from anyone.

  23. Problem?

    And Jeebus….we get it….you are of Italian descent

  24. dontlooknow

    Sucker!!!

  25. Bart

    Every time I see this clown I want to bathe in bleach.

  26. MJB

    The sad thing is this guy is worth at least $8 million. Only in America can a guy who looks like a 40 year old professional rapist shill workout dvds and lollipops to become wealthy.

  27. slurricane

    he has the kind of face i want to punch.

  28. The Situation Lollipop Sugar Factory
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    This isn’t the first time he’s offered to let someone suck on something small and green.

  29. Burt

    Comes in 3 flavours: aftershave, vomit, and cocaine.

  30. stevebeagle

    Cecil the turtle head with the same 2 stupid fuckin poses..
    this is the exact type of clown that got there balls beat in back in BKLYN, in the 70′s, now he supposedly represents all things Guinny.
    fuckin punk ass.

  31. Mary Callahan

    He’s like royalty for retards !

  32. Chip Diller

    It’s like Jersey Christmas – King of the Retards with shitty jewelry, Greasy hair with a stupid haircut and a pointless endorsement of a crappy lolipop

  33. The Situation Lollipop Sugar Factory
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    How old is he, 50?

    He’s one ugly person.

  34. The Situation Lollipop Sugar Factory
    Dave Mustaine
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he wear sunglasses, when he never looks through them? Also. Nice Gumby fingers ugly.

  35. Steelerchick

    I thought for sure it would be shaped as a dick.

  36. OCto-Nose

    Haha WOW he has bitch fingers! Just paint his nails.

  37. The Situation Lollipop Sugar Factory
    steve
    Commented on this photo:

    its obvious he f**ked snooki she is such a fat CUNT

Leave A Comment