If you haven’t figured out by now, Snooki and JWoww are heavily promoting their Jersey Shore spin-off and basically doing everything they can from radio appearances, to leaking pregnancy rumors (You knew that’s what was happening, right?) to now throwing The Situation under the bus by outing him to The Huffington Post. Also, ladies, if you saw that video of Snooki peeing all over a dance floor and covering up the scent by perfuming her vagina, good news. She’ll let you stick your nose right in that. HUZZAH!
Snooki, things got hot and heavy with Deena [another one of the "Jersey Shore" roommates] last season. Do you consider yourself bisexual?
Snooki: I would consider myself bi. I’ve done stuff with girls before. But I would never be with a girl because I like… penis. But I’ve experimented.
What about Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino? What’s the deal? Gay? Not gay?
Snooki: Do you think he’s gay?
It wouldn’t shock me. Whenever he brings a girl home something always seems to go awry and they don’t end up hooking up.
Snooki: And he gives them men’s clothing to wear.
JWoww: And his posture and the way he holds his cigarettes… everything. Listen, I know I keep talking about my best friend Joey, but his husband was closeted for 27 years of his life. And I knew him before he came out. So because of that I know… the signs.
Snooki: Did you know the whole time that he was gay?
JWoww: Yeah! And it drove me nuts! I’m like, “Be happy with yourself!”
Snooki: Was he like, “No, I’m not”?
JWoww: He had a girlfriend! I was just like, “I would love you more if you could be yourself.” I can’t confirm or deny with Mike, but if he was, it would all make sense.
Do you talk to him about it?
JWoww: He brings it up. He’ll say, “People think I’m gay and I don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Snooki: He told me one time, “[All the talk is] making me wonder.”
Also, keep in mind The Situation banged Snooki on one of the episodes, so while I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he was born straight, there’s no fucking way he is now. It’s kind of hard to get an erection when a woman goes to take her panties off and your immediate reaction is to scream bloody murder because you’re afraid another meatball sub is going to spring out and hit you in the face. He can still smell the oregano…