Snooki & JWoww Just Outed The Situation

February 8th, 2012 // 37 Comments
The Art of Hooch Perfuming
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If you haven’t figured out by now, Snooki and JWoww are heavily promoting their Jersey Shore spin-off and basically doing everything they can from radio appearances, to leaking pregnancy rumors (You knew that’s what was happening, right?) to now throwing The Situation under the bus by outing him to The Huffington Post. Also, ladies, if you saw that video of Snooki peeing all over a dance floor and covering up the scent by perfuming her vagina, good news. She’ll let you stick your nose right in that. HUZZAH!

Snooki, things got hot and heavy with Deena [another one of the "Jersey Shore" roommates] last season. Do you consider yourself bisexual?
Snooki: I would consider myself bi. I’ve done stuff with girls before. But I would never be with a girl because I like… penis. But I’ve experimented.
What about Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino? What’s the deal? Gay? Not gay?
Snooki: Do you think he’s gay?
It wouldn’t shock me. Whenever he brings a girl home something always seems to go awry and they don’t end up hooking up.
Snooki: And he gives them men’s clothing to wear.
JWoww: And his posture and the way he holds his cigarettes… everything. Listen, I know I keep talking about my best friend Joey, but his husband was closeted for 27 years of his life. And I knew him before he came out. So because of that I know… the signs.
Snooki: Did you know the whole time that he was gay?
JWoww: Yeah! And it drove me nuts! I’m like, “Be happy with yourself!”
Snooki: Was he like, “No, I’m not”?
JWoww: He had a girlfriend! I was just like, “I would love you more if you could be yourself.” I can’t confirm or deny with Mike, but if he was, it would all make sense.
Do you talk to him about it?
JWoww: He brings it up. He’ll say, “People think I’m gay and I don’t know what they’re talking about.”
Snooki: He told me one time, “[All the talk is] making me wonder.”

Also, keep in mind The Situation banged Snooki on one of the episodes, so while I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he was born straight, there’s no fucking way he is now. It’s kind of hard to get an erection when a woman goes to take her panties off and your immediate reaction is to scream bloody murder because you’re afraid another meatball sub is going to spring out and hit you in the face. He can still smell the oregano…

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, WENN

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  1. Penises of the World

    We’d like to respond to Snooki’s comment about loving penis. For the record, we do not love her back.

  2. Fondue

    I think banging Snooki would turn any man gay.

    • Schmidtler

      That’s one theory. My theory is, any dude that wants pussy bad enough to bang Snookie has earned his ‘straight’ card for life.

      • Inmate 12236969

        Hell I’d fuck her! Of course I’d fuck any chick that’s old enough, walks, talks, and hasn’t been dead too long.

  3. Cock Dr

    So this is the little beast who, after publicly urinating all over itself and the floor of a nightclub, simply sprays itself with a perfume and keeps on partying.
    It doesn’t matter that it stank, that clothes and shoes were wet, the first order of post pee business wasn’t to get home ASAP, but to instead just keep dancing in the pee puddles.

  4. Well, that’s an awkward situation.

  5. From the archives: Snooki with a pre-op JWoww.

  6. Ed G.

    “Also, keep in mind The Situation banged Snooki on one of the episodes”

    Does engaging in beastiality mean you’re gay or straight or what?

  7. Tony Guac

    It’s not gay if you got some balls dangling in your face. Who isn’t going to lick that. So you have some cocks and balls in your face, that’s not gay. So every few days you like to have balls and cock dangling in your face while you stroke some dudes cock. Thats not gay. It’s like your blowing some recreation activity out of perportion. It’s just some balls and cock.

  8. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    Commented on this photo:

    “Someone peed in here? Oh my!”

  9. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    Commented on this photo:

    “You have orange hair. I like pickles. Wanna smoosh?”

  10. EricLr

    In his defense, if he banged a Snooki, there’s a pretty good chance his penis and testicles have dry-rotted off by now. That would make anyone more effeminate. There just isn’t enough Axe body spray and cologne to make up for that.

  11. cc

    He should out her back and reveal 50% of her chromosomes are porcine.

  12. Well, that certainly puts a different spin on those designer lollipops.

  13. sc4play

    Two things: 1. F%&king duck lips!! 2. Thanks for confirming the obvious, girls!

  14. Dan

    Remember, it is only gay if you look them in the eye.

  15. forrest gump

    tell me: WHAT IS IT WITH THIS SNOOKI?
    has pregnancy gone to her head already?

  16. alex

    Rated G

    (ay)

  17. vekfan

    Typical. Guy won’t sleep with them so they ‘out’ him. They’re gross little skanks and I wouldn’t touch them with Fishes (not that I could find it!)

  18. Dude of Dudes

    Meatball sub….Ive always imagined there was a quaint little Italian deli in there.

  19. it had to be said

    I had never seen the perfume to the vag video. Now I can never unsee it.

  20. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    NOI
    Commented on this photo:

    She does have a beautiful face :/

  21. On behalf of the gays: he’s all yours, ladies.

  22. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Agreed. She’s a fuckin hottie. Fuck all the haters. Big tits, cute face, likes chicks and prefers dick… I’d hit it!

  23. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    Wizzy Yo
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like a pile of shit, and the fucking animals that love to fuck piles of shit all chase along after it. Fucking the shit pile, covering it in more shit making the shit pile more powerful. That’s Snooki.

  24. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    Commented on this photo:

    “I love your hair! Do they make skin bronzer in that color?”

  25. Problem?

    of course he is gay

  26. Anon

    Yeah if you has to question if you are gay or not–you’re gay.

  27. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe she whips her hair backwards and forwards

  28. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooompah Lumpah

  29. Snooki Cleavage Bisexual
    Stephanie :*
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s so preety :) looks so much better without the dark dark tan makeup,:):)

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