The Most Important People on The Internet:
Volume 3.11

April 6th, 2013 // 47 Comments

Welcome to this week’s edition of The Most Important People on The Internet 10% of which is jokes about Tom Cruise being short and loving penis, so I’m putting this one on the fridge because I, too, am a connoisseur of low-hanging fruit. Not to mention the genius Blade Runner quote and the coveted final spot comment that is so perfect in its simplicity I want to make sweet, minimalist love to it.

How is minimalist love different than my usual love-making? Touché,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. Mariah Carey Butt Tight Dress Pool Twitter
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL

  2. John Stamos Guy Jumping Off Roof I Am Victor Set
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Love the jokes about this picture.

  3. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this one so much. Can you propose to a comment?

  4. Dermot Mulroney Petting Sea Lion SeaWorld
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Derbert McDillit ?

  5. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful.

  6. Christian Bale Balding Weight Untitled David O Russell Abscam Project
    Commented on this photo:

    That was good.

  7. Anna Chlumsky Cleavage The Company You Keep Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Excellent quote.

  8. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL!

  9. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    Em
    Commented on this photo:

    Shia is trying SO HARD (ridiculously hard) to not be Louis Stephens anymore. SORRY DUDE, you’ll always be Louis Stephens. Give up the dingleberry beard and accept it.

  10. Anna Chlumsky Cleavage The Company You Keep Premiere
    Shemp
    Commented on this photo:

    For any of you who haven’t seen Anna Chlumsky in anything recently, she is hot. HOT hot. As in “HOT!” There was an episode of Law and Order SVU on recently with her in it. She was mesmerizing. Enchanting. Just gorgeous. Don’t let this kinda-crummy pic of her fake you out: she is a honey…

  11. Anna Chlumsky Cleavage The Company You Keep Premiere
    Fishballs
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to eat her bum cakes.

  12. Theresa Ortiz
    Fishballs
    Commented on this photo:

    HA!!!! Brilliant!

  13. Tom Cruise Oblivion Press Conference Moscow
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    No, we don’t.

  14. Britney Spears Shops For Barbies At Walmart
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This was probably my favorite photo of the week.

  15. Angelina Jolie
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    No surprise there. Jolie ain’t a white cotton panties type.

  16. Kim Kardashian Fat Weight Gain Babydoll Dress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  17. Mary Tyler Moore Old
    Shemp
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who can turn the world on with her GAAAAAHHHHH…”

  18. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Shemp
    Commented on this photo:

    This “having to refresh the page to see the correct pic comments each time” business is spawning some really GREAT unintentional humor. If you come to this pic (from either the Anna Chlumsky one or the Debbie Gibson one) without refreshing it, you’ll see what I mean…

  19. Maria Shriver Swimsuit Beach Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, Maria….do we really have to have the boobs hanging out when the kids are around….. Good Lord woman….bad choice in bathing suit.

  20. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    is this the villain in iron man 3?

  21. Theresa Ortiz
    Commented on this photo:

    comfy shirt.

  22. Kim Kardashian Fat Weight Gain Babydoll Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Stick a sword in it, the comments are done.

  23. Hayden Panettiere Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Terrible Boob Job.

  24. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    JMC
    Commented on this photo:

    Neck beard… that’s a real shame.

  25. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking A plus again, Frankie!

  26. Tom Hardy Posing With Kid In Bane Costume Animal Rescue Set
    Commented on this photo:

    ha!

  27. Patrick Schwarzenegger Burying Girlfriend In Sand
    Commented on this photo:

    good one

  28. Tom Hardy Posing With Kid In Bane Costume Animal Rescue Set
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey!

  29. Theresa Ortiz
    Gunplay
    Commented on this photo:

    winner winner. good shit new dave

  30. Tom Cruise Oblivion Press Conference Moscow
    John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    His face looks like it’s sliding down…

  31. Theresa Ortiz
    Commented on this photo:

    I think what Dave means, is, “she has nice tits”.
    And a vinyl sheen to her face and the-camera-is-on eyes.

    • rofl

      I will only say that it’s hard to properly administer a Voight-Kampff test if you’re staring at the subject’s breasts the whole time. Freddie might need some additional training.

  32. Halle Berry Bikini Olivier Martinez Paparazzi Fight
    Commented on this photo:

    Awesome

  33. Cara Santana Nipples See Through Dress
    M3
    Commented on this photo:

    perfect

  34. Maria Shriver Swimsuit Beach Cover
    Allion
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she is a terrible mother.

  35. John Stamos Guy Jumping Off Roof I Am Victor Set
    Commented on this photo:

    ahaha!!

  36. Seth Rogen Wolverine Costume
    Commented on this photo:

    XD

  37. Theresa Ortiz
    Commented on this photo:

    All hail New Dave!

  38. Iggy Pop Shirtless Leathery Skin
    jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    I saw his action figure today. It’s disgustingly lifelike.

  39. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    Commented on this photo:

    I loved “Even Stevens”. Too bad that kid grew into such a douche.

  40. Britney Spears Shops For Barbies At Walmart
    Andie
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she even in this aisle? She has boys!

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