The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 8.13.14

August 13th, 2014 // 392 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed, a surprisingly robust collection considering the site shat its shorts for a good part of the day, resulting in a distinct lack of joy, which in turn slanted our lefty worldview right into a negative space. It’s a good thing pajama pants don’t require belts. (Back me up here, Rush.) In spite of all that scientific evidence for why God makes you super sad if you’re not cool with his son that he murdered, we prevailed and you’re still getting some good shit. Good shit like Joe Manganiello realizing that no tits are worth having to sit through a Justin Timberlake concert, Amanda Seyfried seriously considering how good that baby would look mounted on the wall in her den, and Paris Hilton earning hundreds of thousands of dollars right at the very moment that picture was taken.

So, still any takers on the whole God is real and loves you thing? Anyone? Helloooo?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Taylor Swift Legs Heels Minidress
    LupusYonderboy
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she always in a Maybelline commercial?

  2. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Multiple Bikinis Instagram
    LupusYonderboy
    Commented on this photo:

    I haven’t seen or heard from Hef in a while………

  3. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Dress
    MoreMariaNow!!
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like a water ripple in a large fast ass lake!!

  4. Patrick Schwarzenegger Crazy Haircut Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like ricky martin

  5. Tori Spelling Chest Hole Of Death Super Skinny Limbs
    Commented on this photo:

    Skeleton goes out shopping

  6. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    That ass is definetly getting bigger every week….

  7. Cara Santana Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    How do I open a door again?

  8. Jennifer Lopez Butt Swimsuit Booty Album Cover Instagram
    Fancy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    See Kim KardASSian? THIS is how you Photoshop.

  9. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Dress
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    I can hear the screaming protest of the fabric from here.

  10. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    …next time some snotty, eurotrash douche looks down his nose at americans, we get to throw this in his face.

  11. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be Aliens.

  12. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    **Harry Derbidge**

  13. Lea Michele Legs Short Shorts Boyfriend Matthew Paetz Justin Timberlake 20/20 Experience
    Commented on this photo:

    …what’s the over/under on this guy?

    • dontkillthemessenger

      At least 90 more days until they find him dead in a hotel room with a note that says, “She just wouldn’t shut the fuck up!”

  14. Frank Miller Sickly Bald Head Panama Hat Meet The Filmmakers Apple Store NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    …so, Dobby did’nt actually die, huh?

  15. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    icu
    Commented on this photo:

    DJ? Is that what this twatwaffle calls herself now? Yeah, okay, and I’m an amusement engineer.

  16. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    icu
    Commented on this photo:

    the fuck, dude?

  17. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    …you know, it does’nt count as clicks if you put it in TCWM, so don’t keep thinking we actually WANT to see this shit…

  18. Frank Miller Sickly Bald Head Panama Hat Meet The Filmmakers Apple Store NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    “I take off this hat, Put on a flannel shirt and horn rimmed glasses and Boom… I’m Terry Richardson!”

  19. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Dress
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Wouldn’t it be more accurate to start referring to her using the plural form rather than the singular. Then again, we do say ‘the ocean’ and ‘the continent’ so I could be wrong.

  20. Leigh Lezark Bra Midriff Jeans Kiehls LifeRide Finale Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Best looking DJ in today’s TCWM.

  21. Corey Feldman With Prostitutes Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think he quite saved up for two hookers… maybe one and a half. Instead of getting two 8′s, he settled for an 8 and a 4.

  22. Neve Campbell Thick Legs Jean Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know what she’s done in the last decade, much less last summer.

  23. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Multiple Bikinis Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Instagram’s gotta go.

  24. Scout Willis Sweaty Bra Midriff Open Blouse
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s the hot one.

  25. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Multiple Bikinis Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I suspect she’s completely hollow inside, both literally and metaphysically.

  26. Amanda Seyfried Jessica Barth Baby Ted 2 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have you seen January Jones? She threw this kid at me and said she would be right back.”
    “I’m sure she wi-”
    “That was last week.”

  27. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    jbone
    Commented on this photo:

    “Looks Like Something A Gay Guy Designed In A Laboratory”

  28. Lea Michele Legs Short Shorts Boyfriend Matthew Paetz Justin Timberlake 20/20 Experience
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey everybody! I brought one more douche to keep this party fresh!”

  29. Eddie Murphy Humping Paige Butcher At Coffee Shop Counter
    Commented on this photo:

    My guess is she ordered the same thing she always orders. A soy latte, a scone, and an old black 80′s comedian to press his dick into her butt cheeks while she waits for her order.

  30. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    WTF
    Commented on this photo:

    Gawd she is so ratchet looking these days! I guess the herpes is catching up with her.

  31. Corey Feldman With Prostitutes Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    Welcome back you dollar store nillionare.

  32. Andy Dick High Socks Sneakers Bree Olson Live Nude Girls Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    ugh…just knowing how much drug addled semen Charlie Sheen blasted up in there makes this picture hard to look at. Bree should stay away from that cum dumpster.

  33. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair What If Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    You can tell from the crowd’s reaction that he has many imaginary fans.

  34. Corey Feldman With Prostitutes Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    Tuesday’s special must be “Rent a 10, get a 5 for free”

  35. Casey Batchelor Cleavage What If Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gorgeous.

  36. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Multiple Bikinis Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the creepy ass Joker grin?

  37. Jennifer Nicole Lee Buttcheeks Bikini Bottom Undone Hammock
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking bikinis…still don’t know how they work apparently.

  38.  Joe Manganiello Sofia Vergara Cleavage Drunk Justin Timberlake 20/20 Experience
    Michael Buble
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, you just KNOW they’re brunching it.

  39. Mel B Nipples Cleavage Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Mel B. is frigging hot.

  40. Andy Dick High Socks Sneakers Bree Olson Live Nude Girls Premiere
    Rev. Buhagden
    Commented on this photo:

    Which of these two do you think has sucked more cocks?

  41. Andy Dick High Socks Sneakers Bree Olson Live Nude Girls Premiere
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Two shameless whores

  42. Brooke Shields Crazy Face Crossroad Vegan Restaurant
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t judge him. The lovechild of Patton Oswalt and Oliver Platt can’t afford to be picky.

  43. Andy Dick High Socks Sneakers Bree Olson Live Nude Girls Premiere
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    She is way to gorgeous to be a pornstar, WTF? Gorgeous, great body, looks sweet and nice, clean and not tattooed up, she should easily have been able to get some multi-millionaire, even billionaire to marry her.

    • You are vastly overstating her appeal. She looks a little less like a human meth pipe than most porn stars. End of compliment.

    • Russ

      Alas, she is Fort Wayne, IN, where the millionaires are all old and religious and a billionaire is a mythological creature. She did the best she could with what she had.

  44. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s making it very, very difficult for me to continue rooting for him.

  45. Jennifer Lopez Butt Swimsuit Booty Album Cover Instagram
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to from a photoshopping expert on this one as to the extent of the photoshopping. I don’t think there’s such a thing as no photoshopping with photos of this quality- and not since there was something to photoshop with, and as I like to dabble with the photoshop, this could make for an interesting tutorial. I think there’s a lot we can learn from Jennifer Lopez’s butt.

  46. Jennifer Lopez Butt Swimsuit Booty Album Cover Instagram
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Still too big, but she is getting there.

  47. Paris Hilton Djing Seven Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    “Always two there are. A master, and an apprentice.”

    I’m none too psyched about the nascent Paris Hilton renaissance I’m witnessing. Given that she dove deep around the same time her acolyte Kim Kardashian came to the fore, and now that the Kardashian ilk have effectively suffocated the Earth in their enormous buttcheeks, she rises again? A real Emperor Palpatine vibe here. An Emperor with an IQ of 67 and rectal crabs, but still.

    Given that the Kardashians have taken overexposure and weaponized it, and given just how many of those fucking haridans there are, she now looks like the lesser of two evils. She’ll be welcomed back. Like a hero. Like a savior.

    “So this is how liberty dies? To thunderous applause.”
    (I know I just lost all credibility by quoting the trilogy that must not be named. I also hate myself)

  48.  Joe Manganiello Sofia Vergara Cleavage Drunk Justin Timberlake 20/20 Experience
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks drunk as hell.

    (Someone’s getting titty fucked tonight!)

  49. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I really want to go back to 2008 and have Dikembe Mutombo shot block Rourke’s The Wrestler comeback. Then give him the finger wag and say, “No, no, no. Not in mah house. hahahaha.”

    I want that about that time I bought a Kid Rock CD too. Mostly the CD.

  50. Mickey Rourke Crazy Hair And Clothes The Tonight Show
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    There are so many questions and I don’t think he’ll live long enough to answer them.

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