“That’s right, now look at the camera, keeping your mouth closed, closed, perfectly closed, never open, always close- Oh, God, the gap! Cement! I need cement!”
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Georgio Armani who apparently hires dudes solely to hover their face awkwardly close to his package, Satan’s other eye, another supermodel child who loves to grab her mom’s boobs (You’d be amazed how often this happens.) and Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what did that baby due to my sweet Kate Austen? Maybe if we detonate a bomb on the island, we can reverse the effects. Or flash back and ask Horace how the hell he managed to bag a 16-year-old. (Ha! Lost humor. So inclusive.)
LeAnn Rimes begging me to be in the Final Five in 3.. 2..
- The Superficial
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Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Please don’t confuse me with this guy. Thanks.
In the hole !
“Here’s your order, Ms. Spears. I’ll be back with the other half in a jiffy.”
You can almost hear the frump.
Damn.
“A duck walked up to a lemonade stand…”
+1
Awesome
Oooh, I want grapes now…
She’s taking that Bradley Cooper break up pretty well.
Gym, tan, loser
+1
Or Val T. Rex as she prefers to be called…
Please put that nasty blue flap down. Oh, and your hat too.
How you say “teabag” en Italiano?
Brit’s gonna look like one of them peacock birds when she’s done with this here move!
Holy shit, Bill’s lost some weight.
I almost didn’t recognize her without stripper heels on. Did she get fired or something?
How much for the little girl? Your women, we want to buy your women!
Holy shit, I was just about to type that.
So Fish…did your camera randomly go off at the mall or something?
Jesus, Gary Oldman dresses like my grandpa. Cool, man, cool.
I wonder if she’d take her teeth out for me?
Paz De La Huerta must be crossing in front of him.
Love this comment!
She’s her own wax statue.
Little sister sidekicks, i get it.
“hey you, watch how i eat this fruit, i expect you to do the same for me.”
She’s no Rain Man.
Mr Demille i m ready for my close up
+2 Norma Desmond audition for the coming remake?
Now who would go and photoshop Bradley Cooper’s face, Jonathan Lipnicki’s sweater and Timothy McVeigh’s briefcase onto that nice young man’s body?
I hope to God there isn’t a pants section.
Tranny on the hoof.
This is the power of Maple Jesus’ sperm. I never get to carry that much on a plane.
looks like the Millienium Falcon flew up her cave
Did Paris just realize that she doesn’t have tits?
You know what awkward is? When you’re getting a handy and the paps show up.
She has a very nice hind end, but it’s encased in the strangest skirt I’ve ever seen.
Get up! I’ve told you before, don’t do that when there are cameras about.
This for That?!
The young ones wash Ferraris. The old ones fetch coffee.
Ya call those implants ?
Convenient! Her belt also acts as a bra!
Well played, Goldenboobs.
Come on out to the boardwalk….it’s time to bite the head off the chicken.
Don’t let those vacation crowds down.
Well, that settles it. Eddie Cibrian prefers his women to have less ass than a 10 year old boy.
That, or he owns stock in Noassatall Pharmaceuticals.
I thought that said “getting INTO a FIGHT” and I’d already bet $50 on the biker bear to win before I realized my mistake.
Pigeon-toe ‘mo.
A lion with tits.
I guess that’s cheaper than another facelift, but is it easier?
I would cross a busy city street to avoid close proximity to that.
Something just says “Personality disorder with a bomb in the briefcase”.
Was that the look he was going for?
Dude, webs don’t really shoot out.
Looks like someone asked her, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”
I thought she said “Particularly nasty weather!”
Well, I guess he upgraded from his singular ab to the two-pack version.
Someone is really fucking thirsty.
That young whippersnapper Chris Pine can try all he wants, but there will only ever be one James Tiberius Kirk, and this is his grandfather.