The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.27.11

“That’s right, now look at the camera, keeping your mouth closed, closed, perfectly closed, never open, always close- Oh, God, the gap! Cement! I need cement!”

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Georgio Armani who apparently hires dudes solely to hover their face awkwardly close to his package, Satan’s other eye, another supermodel child who loves to grab her mom’s boobs (You’d be amazed how often this happens.) and Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what did that baby due to my sweet Kate Austen? Maybe if we detonate a bomb on the island, we can reverse the effects. Or flash back and ask Horace how the hell he managed to bag a 16-year-old. (Ha! Lost humor. So inclusive.)

LeAnn Rimes begging me to be in the Final Five in 3.. 2..

- The Superficial

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Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN