The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 7.27.11

July 27th, 2011 // 648 Comments

“That’s right, now look at the camera, keeping your mouth closed, closed, perfectly closed, never open, always close- Oh, God, the gap! Cement! I need cement!”

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Georgio Armani who apparently hires dudes solely to hover their face awkwardly close to his package, Satan’s other eye, another supermodel child who loves to grab her mom’s boobs (You’d be amazed how often this happens.) and Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what did that baby due to my sweet Kate Austen? Maybe if we detonate a bomb on the island, we can reverse the effects. Or flash back and ask Horace how the hell he managed to bag a 16-year-old. (Ha! Lost humor. So inclusive.)

LeAnn Rimes begging me to be in the Final Five in 3.. 2..

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Georgio Armani Speedo
    Commented on this photo:

    Please don’t confuse me with this guy. Thanks.

  2. Britney Spears Butt
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    In the hole !

  3. Renee Zellweger
    Commented on this photo:

    “Here’s your order, Ms. Spears. I’ll be back with the other half in a jiffy.”

  4. Evangeline Lilly
    Commented on this photo:

    You can almost hear the frump.

  5. Anna Paquin
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn.

  6. Victoria Silvstedt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “A duck walked up to a lemonade stand…”

  7. Renee Zellweger
    Gusnolly
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s taking that Bradley Cooper break up pretty well.

  8. The Situation Shirtless
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    Gym, tan, loser

  9. Paris Hilton Cleavage
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    Or Val T. Rex as she prefers to be called…

  10. Shauna Sand Bikini
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    Please put that nasty blue flap down. Oh, and your hat too.

  11. Georgio Armani Speedo
    Commented on this photo:

    How you say “teabag” en Italiano?

  12. Britney Spears Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Brit’s gonna look like one of them peacock birds when she’s done with this here move!

  13. William Shatner
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, Bill’s lost some weight.

  14. Shauna Sand Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I almost didn’t recognize her without stripper heels on. Did she get fired or something?

  15. Benicio Del Toro Oliver Stone Savages
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    How much for the little girl? Your women, we want to buy your women!

  16. Shenae Grimes
    Commented on this photo:

    So Fish…did your camera randomly go off at the mall or something?

  17. Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, Gary Oldman dresses like my grandpa. Cool, man, cool.

  18. Christie Brinkley
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she’d take her teeth out for me?

  19. Tobey Maguire
    Commented on this photo:

    Paz De La Huerta must be crossing in front of him.

  20. Christie Brinkley
    hbw
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s her own wax statue.

  21. Nicky Hilton Ashlee Simpson
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Little sister sidekicks, i get it.

  22. Georgio Armani Speedo
    Commented on this photo:

    “hey you, watch how i eat this fruit, i expect you to do the same for me.”

  23. Shenae Grimes
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s no Rain Man.

  24. Christie Brinkley
    BENWAW
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr Demille i m ready for my close up

  25. Bradley Cooper
    Jackie
    Commented on this photo:

    Now who would go and photoshop Bradley Cooper’s face, Jonathan Lipnicki’s sweater and Timothy McVeigh’s briefcase onto that nice young man’s body?

  26. The Situation Shirtless
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope to God there isn’t a pants section.

  27. Kelly Ripa Man Arms
    Commented on this photo:

    Tranny on the hoof.

  28. Selena Gomez Pillow Teddy Bear
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the power of Maple Jesus’ sperm. I never get to carry that much on a plane.

  29. Christie Brinkley
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like the Millienium Falcon flew up her cave

  30. Paris Hilton Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Paris just realize that she doesn’t have tits?

  31. Tom Hanks Rita Wilson
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what awkward is? When you’re getting a handy and the paps show up.

  32. Anna Paquin
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a very nice hind end, but it’s encased in the strangest skirt I’ve ever seen.

  33. Georgio Armani Speedo
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    Get up! I’ve told you before, don’t do that when there are cameras about.

  34. Brandi Glanville Bikini
    Oldnslo
    Commented on this photo:

    This for That?!

  35. Renee Zellweger
    Commented on this photo:

    The young ones wash Ferraris. The old ones fetch coffee.

  36. Brandi Glanville Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Ya call those implants ?

  37. Evangeline Lilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Convenient! Her belt also acts as a bra!

  38. Katie Price Cleavage
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Well played, Goldenboobs.

  39. The Situation Shirtless
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Come on out to the boardwalk….it’s time to bite the head off the chicken.
    Don’t let those vacation crowds down.

  40. Brandi Glanville Bikini
    JosieBelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, that settles it. Eddie Cibrian prefers his women to have less ass than a 10 year old boy.

  41. Selena Gomez Pillow Teddy Bear
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought that said “getting INTO a FIGHT” and I’d already bet $50 on the biker bear to win before I realized my mistake.

  42. The Situation Shirtless
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Pigeon-toe ‘mo.

  43. Katie Price Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    A lion with tits.

  44. Christie Brinkley
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess that’s cheaper than another facelift, but is it easier?

  45. Bradley Cooper
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I would cross a busy city street to avoid close proximity to that.
    Something just says “Personality disorder with a bomb in the briefcase”.
    Was that the look he was going for?

  46. Tobey Maguire
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, webs don’t really shoot out.

  47. Britney Spears Butt
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone asked her, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”

  48. The Situation Shirtless
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, I guess he upgraded from his singular ab to the two-pack version.

  49. Renee Zellweger
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone is really fucking thirsty.

  50. William Shatner
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    That young whippersnapper Chris Pine can try all he wants, but there will only ever be one James Tiberius Kirk, and this is his grandfather.

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