The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.3.13

April 3rd, 2013 // 489 Comments

“You ever dance with the devil in the pa– You know what? I’m talking about sex. I’d like to pay you both for sex.”

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that I just want to start out by saying I really do shoot for variety with this thing, but when a certain British soccer legend places his crotch oddly into the faces of others in exactly the way that I do not at all pray for nightly, then I just have to include him. It’s the same way I’m always targeting Shia LaBeouf, but again, you dress like hipster Paulie Walnuts, you go in TCWM. There’s also Rob Kardashian proving that whores still love money, even if there’s only a chance your pornstar sister might lend you some, the Lindsay Lohan trash portrait that has less bacteria in it than the real thing, and finally, Aaron Eckhart just now realizing that “I had your mother for lunch,” is not a Scottish colloquialism.

We get it, Tom Hardy, you’re fucking awesome,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans Son Luca
    Commented on this photo:

    If the kid weren’t there, I’d think she just got engaged.

  2. Jack Nicholson Hitting On Laker Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hi ladies. A few Viagra, and my penis pump, and it’s game on!”

  3. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Such a cute little rude, thoughtless pig.

  4. Jill Martin Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m thirsty, all of a sudden.

  5. Olivia Culpo Legs Slit Dress Jeffery Fashion Cares Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Dress by Aunt Flo.

  6. Diane Kruger Butt Overalls Whole Foods
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    This is why everyone hates Whole Foods

  7. David Beckham Crotch In Opponents Face
    Commented on this photo:

    No comment. Perfect as is.

  8. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Belly Bra See Through Shirt LAX
    nemo
    Commented on this photo:

    keep it klassy, kim!
    ew.

  9. Jack Nicholson Hitting On Laker Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ladies, I’ve put more women through college than the United Negro College Fund… Just sayin…”

  10. Rob Kardashian Fat Face Weight Gain With Hot Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like Jon Lovitz, that gay weeble.

  11. Jack Nicholson Hitting On Laker Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone just added a few items to his bucket list.

  12. Lindsay Lohan Garbage Portrait Jason Mecier
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Seems like a waste of good garbage.

  13. Jack Nicholson Hitting On Laker Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    The one on the left, but only from behind

  14. John Stamos Guy Jumping Off Roof I Am Victor Set
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Try to land on the uglier Olsen twin!”

  15. Mariah Carey Butt Tight Dress Pool Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    What he wanted to say: Damn it woman! I am not refilling the pool if you jump in…
    What he actually said: You look like a mermaid! Can I have my allowance?

  16. Lindsay Lohan Garbage Portrait Jason Mecier
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Where are her used condoms and syringes!!!!!

  17. Lindsay Lohan Garbage Portrait Jason Mecier
    Commented on this photo:

    He should’ve made it out of cigarette butts

  18. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s so much man tension here, I can’t look at this picture for more than a second…

  19. Gerard Depardieu Fat Belly Hanging Out Of Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I am here for your pastries…”

  20. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr. Redford, have you ever heard of “man tension”"?

    “Security….please remove this man”

  21. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans Son Luca
    Commented on this photo:

    That ass is Duff-Enuff for me

  22. Tom Cruise Oblivion Press Junket Vienna
    Commented on this photo:

    “This man… This man is my stand-in for straight love scenes..”

  23. Jack Nicholson Hitting On Laker Girls
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does Jack Nicholson like basketball so much?
    This guy hasn’t missed a game in about a century!
    He’s like a little fuckin Irish leprechan?

  24. Jada Pinkett Smith Getting Makeup Done GMA
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Despite cleansing prayers from a goth priest and a skull massage from a famine victim using extra-strength gay-away, Jada found she was still a big ole lesbian.

  25. John Stamos Guy Jumping Off Roof I Am Victor Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Carlos, I thought I was *clean*, I swear!”

  26. Gerard Depardieu Fat Belly Hanging Out Of Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    On his way to Brighton Beach?

  27. Christian Bale Balding Weight Untitled David O Russell Abscam Project
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Nerd, like most of you!

  28. Ireland Baldwin Legs Minidress Christine Teigen Jeffrey Fashion Cares
    Commented on this photo:

    Well fuck me with a high heel!

  29. Aaron Eckhart Gerard Butler Olympus Has Fallen Promotion Apple Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Your mother, Trebek.. er.. I mean Eckhart…

  30. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Belly Bra See Through Shirt LAX
    cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    Duck lips AND a 4 stomach cow belly is tougher to pull off than it looks.

  31. Mariah Carey Butt Tight Dress Pool Twitter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There are a lot of practical advantages to always have your own seat cushions right with you at all times.

  32. Shannon De Lima Bikini
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d have to put something over my crotch too if she posed like that in front of me . . .

  33. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Belly Bra See Through Shirt LAX
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she have her miscarriage yet?

  34. Jill Martin Bikini
    dude
    Commented on this photo:

    GROOOOOSSSSSSSS

    • Jack the stripper

      Young children and gay men often have that reaction to the female form.

      • Marco Polo

        While she may be female, she’s not really feminine. And her rolly stomach is nasty. I can see a lot of guys finding her unattractive.

      • Hank

        Go back to your plastic robot world, stupid.

      • Marco Polo

        You think she’ so gorgeous? check out the pics just posted of her on this site. She is a nasty, fatty mess. You guys on here have no taste, either that or you’re just plain desperate.

  35. Mariah Carey Butt Tight Dress Pool Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course she did.

  36. Rob Kardashian Fat Face Weight Gain With Hot Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Give her her jacket back!

  37. Dermot Mulroney Petting Sea Lion SeaWorld
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    All part of a lame excuse to his wife later about why his hand smells like fish.

  38. Gerard Depardieu Fat Belly Hanging Out Of Shirt
    dude
    Commented on this photo:

    lookin’ svelte.

  39. Gerard Depardieu Fat Belly Hanging Out Of Shirt
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    An amusing Gandolfini, with just a hint of De Niro. Leave the bottle.

  40. Gerard Depardieu Fat Belly Hanging Out Of Shirt
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet it smells like Gerard Depardieu in there.

  41. Olivia Culpo Legs Slit Dress Jeffery Fashion Cares Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Pedobear finally got his Elektra script approved…

  42. Tom Hardy Posing With Kid In Bane Costume Animal Rescue Set
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your snack pack has made you weak. Spring Break has defeated you.”

  43. John Stamos Guy Jumping Off Roof I Am Victor Set
    hoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “You could’ve just said you don’t want to suck it!”

  44. Jack Nicholson Hitting On Laker Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    Like sheep in front of a wolf.

  45. Tom Cruise Oblivion Press Junket Vienna
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Press: “Hey Tom, whose your favorite rent boy?”

  46. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Him (to baby): “Got yer nose!”
    Her (to him): “Got your balls.”

  47. Christian Bale Balding Weight Untitled David O Russell Abscam Project
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, this guy is a f’ing chameleon. He’s almost as good as Gary Oldman.

  48. Shia LaBeouf Werid Clothes Robert Redford The Company You Keep Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “The Company You Keep,” huh? There goes any respect I may have had for Mr. Redford.
    Shia, you look like a douche!

  49. Jack Nicholson Hitting On Laker Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    No man alive could resist that, and that’s why I got into jail to begin with. And now they’re telling me I’m crazy over here because I don’t sit there like a goddamn vegetable.

  50. David Beckham Crotch In Opponents Face
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Shortly after seeing this photo, John Travolta bought four soccer teams.

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