The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 2.29.12

February 29th, 2012 // 414 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed which now exists in a reality that will soon bear witness to the whelp of a Snooki. We should all start phoning estranged relatives to set aside grudges. Humanity’s imminent demise aside, we came across Mariah Carey‘s completely impromptu candid twitpic that JWoww could really learn something from, Mark Wahlberg expertly photobombs himself like only a would-be 9/11 hero is capable of, and Rihanna steps out in hooker casual, appropriate for any occasion complete with groin studs for the gentleman who prefers to fight his way in. (Skarsgard, consider the gauntlet thrown.)

I really tried not to do this, but Bethenny Frankel‘s skeletal grin is apparently irresistible to the paparazzi.

Forgive me loyal readers,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Chris Brown Fried Chicken Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: The poor woman he beat when she overcooked one of those dishes…

  2. Sophia Bush Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Sophia Boobs, amirite?

    I’ll show myself out.

  3. JWoww No Makeup Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently Yoda had a slutty older sister…

  4. Apparently The Superficial is now using banker’s hours. The crap we wanted to miss is showing up earlier now.

  5. Jon Lovitz
    Bobin
    Commented on this photo:

    Enough with the blue. Even the dog is like “I don’t know him”.

  6. Mark Wahlberg El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    “Say hello to your motha…”

    • Just_As_it_IS

      Let’s begin with the “coulda stopped terrorism attacks, war, disease, etc.” kind of jokes.
      *yawn

  7. Chris Brown Fried Chicken Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like some fried chicken, greens and is that hog jowls?

    • Alex

      I’d say you are correct on all three accounts. He wants so badly to fit the stereotype. Damn Bruno Mars fucking it all up.

  8. Mariah Carey No Makeup Twitter
    Bobin
    Commented on this photo:

    This is actually cute. Finally a pic where she’s not contorted to show ass and a set of titties ’bout ready to fall out.

  9. Sophia Bush Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got a rape whistle….careful.

  10. Chris Brown Fried Chicken Twitter
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Got this recipe from my Nana! She wouldn’t give it up after 20 minutes of lower body work, but one kick to the head and she spit it right out! Along with her dentures! But hey, that’s what love is all about.”

  11. Tom Hardy
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoop dee friggin doo!

  12. Rob Kardashian Stupid Clothes
    Bobin
    Commented on this photo:

    This isn’t cute even if he was joking.

  13. Katherine Heigl
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like a ray of sunshine this one.

  14. Rob Kardashian Stupid Clothes
    Alison
    Commented on this photo:

    This dude wishes he was Tom Haverford.

  15. Chris Brown Fried Chicken Twitter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    More proof he was meant to be a short order fry cook.

  16. Olivia Wilde Short Shorts Fat Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Lay off the frappuccinos Oprah!

  17. Katherine Heigl
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Heigl irritated to find that her ability to suck the joy out of any entertainment that features her doesn’t also suck the beauty out of nearby flowers.

  18. Bethenny Frankel Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She makes me throw up a little…

    On the inside.

  19. Tulisa Contostavlos Cleavage Mickey Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    Arghhh, in every picture there’s a friggen Kuntrashaclone.

  20. Chris Brown Fried Chicken Twitter
    noakley
    Commented on this photo:

    With that health food, looks like he’s prepping for Kim K coming over for dinner and a movie.

  21. Rob Kardashian Stupid Clothes
    dantewolfe
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody feels like he isn’t getting enough attention paid to him? Christ, a blind gay man wouldn’t wear a shirt like that!

  22. Bethenny Frankel Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She makes me throw up a lot…

    Just yakked in the sink.

  23. Chris Brown Fried Chicken Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s just about to add the can of whoopass. Or is that what greens are?

  24. Katherine Heigl
    noakley
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny, that’s exactly how I picture her looking. Right down to the fat chin, mom hair, and scarf to hide the wattle.

  25. Jon Lovitz
    noakley
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks just like Ron Jeremy, except his jeans are a bit looser.

  26. Mariah Carey No Makeup Twitter
    noakley
    Commented on this photo:

    No makeup, but showing her full body spanx.

  27. Amber Heard
    noakley
    Commented on this photo:

    Lucky Joan.

  28. Tom Hardy
    Commented on this photo:

    The winner gets to leave Siberia.

  29. Katherine Heigl
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t we get her some bigger sunglasses?

  30. Tulisa Contostavlos Cleavage Mickey Ears
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not going to help me get over my Minnie Mouse fetish.

  31. Chris Brown Fried Chicken Twitter
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    What kind of animal beats a battered woman? Battered chicken.

  32. Mark Wahlberg El Hormiguero
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    El Hormiguero? More like El Hormoguero!… I’m 5.

  33. Rob Kardashian Stupid Clothes
    Jill
    Commented on this photo:

    there is absolutely no part of this picture that is ok, from the Kardashian in the foreground to the Tara Ried’s white boots in the background.

  34. Sophia Bush Cleavage
    MissGeekChic
    Commented on this photo:

    Watch out for those girls with the rape whistles.

  35. Mark Wahlberg El Hormiguero
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ya know, if I’d been on dem trains in Madrid back in ’04, there wouldna been no explodings. I woulda beat dem bombs apart with my fists, you Spanish pussies.”

  36. Olivia Wilde Short Shorts Fat Legs
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold the shlumpification!

  37. JWoww No Makeup Hoodie
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    where is our PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSS?

  38. Danny DeVito
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m back, Megaman!

  39. Chris Brown Fried Chicken Twitter
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (Two scientists in top secret research facility)

    “Dr. Peters! Look! This one is acting like he’s cooking, how cute!”

  40. Rihanna Short Shorts Hooker Boots
    MILF
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet Kate Major wishes she’d had those shorts.

  41. Rihanna Short Shorts Hooker Boots
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Those spikes would probably offer better protection up around your neck and face. Just sayin’.

  42. Bethenny Frankel Bikini
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I just puked in my soul.

  43. Mariah Carey No Makeup Twitter
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    no makeup makes your lips glisten like that?

  44. Bethenny Frankel Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Walking ipecac.

  45. Katherine Heigl
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stupid flowers.”

  46. JWoww No Makeup Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    Godmother material, fo sho.

  47. Mark Wahlberg El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    Acting, rapping, preventing terror attacks, restauranteur, and now ventriloquism. Is there anything this guy can’t do?

  48. Alessandra Ambrosio Pregnant Belly
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    how cute. she’s learning new farting techniques from her boyfriend.

  49. JWoww No Makeup Hoodie
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    JWoww, the hussy, went to seed in a beautiful pea green coat.

  50. JWoww No Makeup Hoodie
    DALESQ
    Commented on this photo:

    tits or GTFO

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