The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 2.13.13

February 13th, 2013 // 305 Comments

It was in that moment that huge breasts spared the lives of countless people. Dorner retreated, excited to tell some buddies in Big Bear how he’s pretty sure he saw some nipple. Could’ve been a shadow, but he’s pretty sure…

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed that just made a terrible joke at the expense of a national tragedy because having emotions is for people who wear pants to work. Although, I know you guys can’t wait to surrender a sizeable chunk of your own souls making fun of the rest of these people, so here goes: Josh Duhamel, who can see his wife’s penis from there, Hilary Duff, who grew a third asscheek (I’ll allow it.), Ted Vagina, and David Hasselhoff, who’s super excited because when his flight left for Sydney, McDonald’s was serving breakfast, then when he landed — STILL BREAKFAST!!

Time zone jokes, got ‘em (Full Disclaimer: I did absolutely no research to fact-check if this is even remotely accurate.),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Back to being a spinner! BRAVO!

  2. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Watchu talkin about Willis??
    Tits, we’re talking about tits here..

  3. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    And then I beat him while repeatedly calling him a n*gg*r. Nothing racist about that, so stop asking at every press conference.

  4. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahh nothing sexier than a gunt to go with a ginormous ass….

  5. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to be the cartographer that mapped out that topography.

  6. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    Here are your names: Mr. Pink, Mr. Blue, Mr. White, Mr. Brown, Mr. Brown, and Mr. Beckham.

  7. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    They can double date with Neil Patrick Harris and his husband!

  8. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    Commented on this photo:

    I shall call you…Mini Me!

  9. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessica Simpson just ate an entire Arby’s looking at this…

  10. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Just out of frame is the 3 foot stack of telephone books Cee Lo is standing on.

  11. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst Beyonce cosplay ever.

  12. Bar Refaeli Cleavage Yoga Pants Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oprah, Oprah…OTHER than eating, what have you been doing since your retirement?”

  13. Alexander Ludwig Hugging David Spade
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tell me your secret o undeserving gatherer of top-notch ass…”

  14. Kate Upton Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the loser in the Ohio State Buckeyes jacket?

  15. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have detected the faint smell of a snickers bar and had to be put back on the path by her handler…

  16. Bear Grylls Skinny Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    So, the wild has closets you can come out of?

  17. Constantine Maroulis Weird Beard Jekyll And Hyde Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Shall I call you Logan, Weapon X, or skip straight to the dickpunch you so obviously deserve?

  18. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Visits Germany, dresses up as British WWII fighter pilot. The guy has balls.

  19. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    NEIN NEIN NEIN!
    (Quentin Tarantino finds out about the shoes requirement at his hotel)

  20. Bar Refaeli Cleavage Yoga Pants Twitter
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to smell that leotard when she’s done……….

  21. David Hasselhoff Sunrise In Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    How in the hell did that guy in the back copy and paste himself poorly into a photo at the time it was taken?

  22. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    I much prefer his cousin Mike Hunt…….

  23. Josh Duhamel Save Haven Photo Call Empire State Building Observatory
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dammit. I’m staying up here until I can’t see Fergie’s erection through this thing.”

  24. Eliza Coupe Bill Paxton Perv Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    Here we have Exhibit A:
    A shot of the accused 5 minutes before the sexual battery occurred.

  25. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the few times you pray the carpet does not match the drapes…

  26. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas With Group Of Men
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are two of the most elaborate ‘Dick in a Box’ costumes I’ve ever seen!

  27. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    If those leather pants believe in reincarnation, they must think they’re a cow fetus as they slowly expand each day.

  28. Grace Phipps Nipples Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for a sugar daddy, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long sex life. Skills that make me freaky deaky for people like you. If you let your clothes go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not hump you, I will ass pound you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will still hump and ass pound the hell out of you.

  29. Josh Duhamel Save Haven Photo Call Empire State Building Observatory
    Commented on this photo:

    911 redo. Thank you & refreshments to your right.

  30. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Well at least we know there are still a couple that don’t say “Ah, fuck it!” after childbirth

  31. Famke Janssen Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Premiere Berlin
    Commented on this photo:

    Franken Janssen

  32. Adaora Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    This woman’s eyes are as lopsided as Jennifer Lawrence’s boobs!

  33. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Dead Vagina

  34. Josh Duhamel Save Haven Photo Call Empire State Building Observatory
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see my 15 minutes dwindling from here.

  35. Oprah Huge Butt Tight Dress Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like if she so much as sneezes a 5 pound load of shit is going to explode out of her ass.

  36. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Travel by Zeppelin is very fasionable…..

  37. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Tokyo Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Skinny jeans for fat guys?

    Now I’ve seen everything.

  38. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Shia LaBeouf circa 2053.

  39. Carmen Electra Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Like a fine wine, my dear

  40. Joe Jonas Nick Jonas With Group Of Men
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to know how my Chia Pet got to Hollywood.

  41. David Beckham Soccer Team Wearing Matching Black Suits
    Commented on this photo:

    A funeral for careers.

  42. Katherine Heigl Jenny Packham Fall Fasion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Pumpkinhead.

  43. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    FattyFatty2X4
    Commented on this photo:

    I like this one here.
    With Beyonce as the big sis, ya know this one must have brutal self esteem, i.e. she will do everything in the sack.

  44. Solange Knowles Legs Minidress Huge Afro Beyonce: Life Is But A Dream Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    You can just see the sister envy in her eyes.

  45. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Where boners go to die.

  46. Katherine Heigl Jenny Packham Fall Fasion Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did I go on vacation? Oh no, I’ve just been floating dead in the Atlantic.”

  47. Ted Vagina Will Ferrell Moustache Lakers Game
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    His brother Richard has been beaten up many times.

  48. Brooke Shields Scary Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a jungle safari.

  49. Eliza Coupe Bill Paxton Perv Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    Call Agent Tasker, Simon’s telling spy stories again.

  50. Hanna Davis Cleavage Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Kick Off Event
    JPC
    Commented on this photo:

    Just to ruin it for all of you……Derek Jeter is banging this.

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