SURI: Stand back, faggot! Mother and I shall vanquish these foes.
TOM: It’s “daddy,” young lady.
SURI: SILENCE!
The Crap We Missed: Brought to you by The Xenu Child Warrior Center.
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- The Superficial
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“Do I still have cum on my tooth?”
No, but there’s a tad bit on your left boob.
LOL that was so funny !
“ohhHHhhh…BRET….what big sunglass lenses you HAvvee…”
When did Howie Mandel grow hair?
*buy a wig
Domo arigato Mr. Ro-butt-o
damn you beat me to it.
Ditto.
That one was a lob ball.
damnit
How many of thus thought of this? This ho and her ass gon end up causin’ some critical mass 9th Revelation shit.
100% expected, 100% funny.
(holds up three fingers)
Shocker.
Apparently there was a family deal at Supercuts.
LOL
Kim is ready for a workout. I would definitely have her sweating, panting, and moaning when I bend her over just a little bit more and grab that pony tail and pound that nice fat ass from the back.
^ Pretty sure this guy is a virgin
Agreed.
The problem with hitting Kim from behind is that you have to have a 20″ pecker to get close. I mean, she’s got what, 50″ hips? Hell, forget anal with this girl. You’d have to set up a base camp halfway down the crevasse and go in the next day.
+1
Not to mention the special equipment required, oxygen tanks, ropes, crampons, picks, mining equipment, industrial grade explosives, a team of Turkish midgets and the entire cast from Deadliest Catch.
..not to mention a couple of gallons of African American piss.
@ s’up bitches: You win 100 interwebs.
I didn’t realize there was an award for having great tits in 1997.
(Business executive to another suit on set of photo shoot)
“So we’re using Kim Khardashian to market our new “Shape Ups” sneakers.”
“Yes”
“That’s logical”
(girl on left)
“This guy is SO fucking gay!”
Girl on the left….”Hahahaha. You like girls! Riiiiiiight”
Double shocker.
Outstanding caption! Tremendous.
Good to see Tish in the back there prepping for a quick HJ.
They made a Courtney Love blow up doll?
duuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah. Oriental Meat Curtains.
This looks like a screen shot from Saved by the Bell
Excuse me, but if the picture doesn’t show her tits why are we bothering? It’s Gwyneth Paltrow. She’s old. If she ain’t nekked, we don’t care…
these shoes do what now?
Her lips look like the footage from one of those 1950s black and white test pilots wind tunnels.
Gay men get away with a lot of wardrobe shenanigans.
Is this the Superficial website, or did I stumble into Madame Tussaud’s wax museum of really old people? Yikes. What could this photo do other than cause such sudden and massive shrinkage that I believe a black hole was just born in my loins…
Herp derp.
nice
lulz
Nice one. That would have been a spit-take.
+1
haha
Every rose has its thorn.
Also, every douche has his bandana.
+1
I can’t tell if she’s sucking in her giant chin, or letting out a giant fart.
“HER-RROOOO, SCOTRANNND!”
“Ms. Parton, we’re in England. Please get in the car ma’am.”
+1
If she has her face stretched back any more she’ll look Japanese.
“I’ll take that $5 thank you! I told you that you could fit you forearm between my tits without touching them”
wow, this guy is such a douche, even the pasty faced fat girl is laughing her ass off at him.
Sketcher’s Shape-Ups and that ass? theres a gem in there somewhere.
“I wanna do thissss many boys tonight.”
I can fit TWO of these purses in my vagina… Just kidding, you all can come inside. Watch your step!
+1
Where’s Wally?
Waldo, isn’t it? Unless it’s a different joke that I missed. Which is entirely possible.
Wally in England, Waldo in America you douche. Google would have saved you the turmoil
I’ve never understood the need for the two different names. It’s not like his name is crucial to the cultural differences between us.
Heil Titler!
Dolly Parton seen here being escorted back to the home waves to imaginary fans, a condition brought on by massive silicone leakage cutting off oxygen to her brain.
@Ismoss
Hahaha!
@D2: I should not laugh, and yet …
You got to this joke too fast.
+1 Winning!
Damn, I was sure I was clever coming up with “Heil Titler” when I saw this picture. Damn you Double D! :P
Bono’s sex change is complete.
Holy fuck! Where are her legs? Is this a slink-back deal like a magic sword or sth?
Looks like she is training for the special olympics.
My daddy’s NOT CRYING!!! I swear! Now, leave him alone…
Eww, old lady vag-pit
I CAN HAZ CHEESEBURGER?
LMAO
good one.
Suri: You’d make the “Stinky Face” too, if you had to be seen in public with that man following Mommy!
She should have known better than to put on her X-ray specs and look directly at Gary Shirley.
Daddy, why are you peeing off the fort?
That’s a pretty bold assumption you’re making, that Pete Wentz can pee standing up!
“….in other news, the USGS has established a link with the aftershocks in Japan to Kim K’s recent photoshoot in which she lunged forward several times…..more at 11″
I don’t care how good she looks, she annoys the hell out of me.
Did anyone order a hipster? Not Zach, that’s for sure. He ordered a pensive intellectual.
Hipster.
Now stop appearing in public and ruining my impression of Spock in the next Star Trek, ty.
If you look closely you’ll see he’s holding one of Jean-Paul Sartre’s unfinished manuscripts.
“I need more strips in this outfit.”