The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 4.13.11

April 13th, 2011 // 487 Comments

SURI: Stand back, faggot! Mother and I shall vanquish these foes.
TOM: It’s “daddy,” young lady.
SURI: SILENCE!

The Crap We Missed: Brought to you by The Xenu Child Warrior Center.

A Learning Place.

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Heather Graham
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do I still have cum on my tooth?”

  2. Doc Scweinstrudel

    LOL that was so funny !

  3. Bret Michaels
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “ohhHHhhh…BRET….what big sunglass lenses you HAvvee…”

  4. Bret Michaels
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Howie Mandel grow hair?

  5. Kim Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Domo arigato Mr. Ro-butt-o

  6. Gwyneth Paltrow
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (holds up three fingers)

    Shocker.

  7. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently there was a family deal at Supercuts.

  8. Kim Kardashian
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL

  9. Kim Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim is ready for a workout. I would definitely have her sweating, panting, and moaning when I bend her over just a little bit more and grab that pony tail and pound that nice fat ass from the back.

  10. Heather Graham
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t realize there was an award for having great tits in 1997.

  11. Kim Kardashian
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (Business executive to another suit on set of photo shoot)

    “So we’re using Kim Khardashian to market our new “Shape Ups” sneakers.”

    “Yes”

    “That’s logical”

  12. Zachary Quinto
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (girl on left)

    “This guy is SO fucking gay!”

  13. Zachary Quinto
    Commented on this photo:

    Girl on the left….”Hahahaha. You like girls! Riiiiiiight”

  14. Rebecca Romijn
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Double shocker.

  15. Outstanding caption! Tremendous.

  16. Bret Michaels
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see Tish in the back there prepping for a quick HJ.

  17. Rebecca Romijn
    Commented on this photo:

    They made a Courtney Love blow up doll?

  18. Audrina Patridge
    Tyler
    Commented on this photo:

    duuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Jenna Jameson
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah. Oriental Meat Curtains.

  20. Alessandra Ambrosio
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like a screen shot from Saved by the Bell

  21. Gwyneth Paltrow
    Franksinatrastein
    Commented on this photo:

    Excuse me, but if the picture doesn’t show her tits why are we bothering? It’s Gwyneth Paltrow. She’s old. If she ain’t nekked, we don’t care…

  22. Kim Kardashian
    Bi-Winning, Duh!
    Commented on this photo:

    these shoes do what now?

  23. Goldie Hawn
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Her lips look like the footage from one of those 1950s black and white test pilots wind tunnels.

  24. Zachary Quinto
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay men get away with a lot of wardrobe shenanigans.

  25. Fran Drescher
    Franksinatrastein
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the Superficial website, or did I stumble into Madame Tussaud’s wax museum of really old people? Yikes. What could this photo do other than cause such sudden and massive shrinkage that I believe a black hole was just born in my loins…

  26. Reese Witherspoon
    Ponkur
    Commented on this photo:

    Herp derp.

  27. Bret Michaels
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Every rose has its thorn.
    Also, every douche has his bandana.

  28. Reese Witherspoon
    Bi-Winning, Duh!
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t tell if she’s sucking in her giant chin, or letting out a giant fart.

  29. Dolly Parton
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “HER-RROOOO, SCOTRANNND!”

    “Ms. Parton, we’re in England. Please get in the car ma’am.”

  30. Jenna Jameson
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If she has her face stretched back any more she’ll look Japanese.

  31. Audrina Patridge
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll take that $5 thank you! I told you that you could fit you forearm between my tits without touching them”

  32. Zachary Quinto
    Bi-Winning, Duh!
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, this guy is such a douche, even the pasty faced fat girl is laughing her ass off at him.

  33. Kim Kardashian
    Ismoss
    Commented on this photo:

    Sketcher’s Shape-Ups and that ass? theres a gem in there somewhere.

  34. Jenna Jameson
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    “I wanna do thissss many boys tonight.”

  35. Jenna Jameson
    Topher
    Commented on this photo:

    I can fit TWO of these purses in my vagina… Just kidding, you all can come inside. Watch your step!

  36. Zachary Quinto
    Nathan Bright
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Wally?

    • Deryn

      Waldo, isn’t it? Unless it’s a different joke that I missed. Which is entirely possible.

      • Zombie Kitty

        Wally in England, Waldo in America you douche. Google would have saved you the turmoil

      • Simole

        I’ve never understood the need for the two different names. It’s not like his name is crucial to the cultural differences between us.

  37. Dolly Parton
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Heil Titler!

  38. Alessandra Ambrosio
    Ismoss
    Commented on this photo:

    Bono’s sex change is complete.

  39. Kim Kardashian
    dramkit
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy fuck! Where are her legs? Is this a slink-back deal like a magic sword or sth?

  40. Reese Witherspoon
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she is training for the special olympics.

  41. Pete Wentz
    Topher
    Commented on this photo:

    My daddy’s NOT CRYING!!! I swear! Now, leave him alone…

  42. Goldie Hawn
    Ismoss
    Commented on this photo:

    Eww, old lady vag-pit

  43. Taylor Momsen
    Ponkur
    Commented on this photo:

    I CAN HAZ CHEESEBURGER?

  44. Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Suri Cruise
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Suri: You’d make the “Stinky Face” too, if you had to be seen in public with that man following Mommy!

  45. Alessandra Ambrosio
    Bi-Winning, Duh!
    Commented on this photo:

    She should have known better than to put on her X-ray specs and look directly at Gary Shirley.

  46. Pete Wentz
    Nathan Bright
    Commented on this photo:

    Daddy, why are you peeing off the fort?

  47. Kim Kardashian
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “….in other news, the USGS has established a link with the aftershocks in Japan to Kim K’s recent photoshoot in which she lunged forward several times…..more at 11″

  48. Emmanuelle Chriqui
    Bi-Winning, Duh!
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care how good she looks, she annoys the hell out of me.

  49. Zachary Quinto
    dramkit
    Commented on this photo:

    Did anyone order a hipster? Not Zach, that’s for sure. He ordered a pensive intellectual.

    Hipster.

    Now stop appearing in public and ruining my impression of Spock in the next Star Trek, ty.

  50. Zachary Quinto
    Courtballs
    Commented on this photo:

    “I need more strips in this outfit.”

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