“Honey, would you cover up? Your lady penises are practically falling out of that thing.” – Ryan Seacrest
Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed where it appears Gollum actually didn’t get too fucked up by the fires of Mount Doom after all, Jessica Simpson‘s weight loss selfishly robs me of a joke for this Topher Grace pic, and even Tobey Maguire needs to get super high to stand being around Tobey Maguire.
“Hey Madonna, want to help ruin everybody’s evening?” – Me, just now, because my soul is black,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
This movie sounds like it’s gonna be a little…..Rocky….
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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She actually looks decent here. Maybe the world is ending soon.
Look this good when you’re 40, most will not. Hmmmm?
You need to consult an ophthalmologist.
When glasses you obtain, jerk off to Geri Halliwell you will not. Hm?
Well, most women at 40 won’t look like they’re 50, so he’s technically correct. The best kind of correct.
In the bag: Kelsey’s balls.
The douche is strong in this one
Madonna, the original microphone hipster… Take that Kardashians!
This sequel to Magic Mike looks terrible.
Why is this picture of Khloe miscaptioned
So this is what they mean “Beat with the ugly stick”?
Where is there a mountain in NYC?
So Madonna is an amputee now? She’s so brave to continue to perform without the aid of prosthetics or a mic stand.
She’s clearly fantasizing about ANOTHER douche…
Who was the opening act, Stephen Hocking?
It’s Hawking.
Thanx…
“You wouldn’t really expect a creationist like BP to know that, would you?”
Nerd, I’m still waiting for u to write something funny…..u suck!
Not if he’s clearing his throat.
Are we gonna stand by and just LET the zombie apocalypse start???
Definitely a shuffler.
Apparently his dealer likes to be paid in alternate forms of payment…
In every photo, there’s David Crosby.
He’s just takin’ care of business.
That is one hammered little hobbit….
He’s so wasted that he’d kiss a woman.
grandmadonna demonstrating her most honed skill
kind of gross seeing a withering old woman trying to act young and sexy. it’s pathetic and vomit inducing.
That is pretty much every episode of ‘Real Housewives” .
Welcome to the Jungle Fever, Bill.
This fucking guy’s got it made, why does he even bother wearing a suit for all of the dumb events he partakes in…Lady Di’s lucky she’s dead!
The only time in our nation’s history where a brunette proves to be more intelligent than a blonde.
BRUNETTE: Ermagawd! Dat’s Ashton Kutcher behind us! He’s a cutie!
BLONDE: Shut the hell up and watch the game!
Brunette: Oh I so would!
Blonde: Did.
*Blonde proves more intelligent than a brunette.
“Strike that. Reverse it.” – Willy Wonka
Thought it was Khloe but then I saw this one is actually pregnant…
(Hell, table for 1)
Stallone is looking at anything but this in that previous picture
I always dress up when heading out for Popeyes.
You’d better…looks like they have a doorman now.
“Performing” indeed.
The posting of this photo simply feeds the monstrous ego, lusting for attention of any kind, that dwells inside that cage of bones & leathery tendons.
lizzy for the win!
Jizzy Faplan
“And this is Hough you see my tits.”
Hough is pronounced as “Huff”. So “this is huff you see my tits”? Fail.
She’ll Hough, and she’ll puff ’til we all see her boobs.
Better?
Tit houghing was outlawed years ago. Now only outlaws can hough tits.
Clearly overdosing on evil.
Someone tell that old fart valet guy who looks like David Crosby to bring up my Bentley…
Soon…
The cool thing about having a girlfriend with the last name Bishe is that you can sort of call her a bitch and when she gets pissed, just say you slurred your words.
…very soon.
World’s most frightening dildo.
Well we at least know why the gigolo is fading.
Win
I’m willing to renounce my American citizenship and pledge loyalty to the Queen if she would just call this idiot and tell him to bring his dumb ass back home.
Creepy Uncle date night.
Cool cheek implants, bro!
Is that an actual hair skirt?
That skirt is made from Kim Kardashian’s discarded extensions. See? Kim recycles, you guys.
Maybe she gave a discount, but it sure as hell wasn’t free.
I think we all owe Snooki an apology.
They’re warning him if he picks up that human cooking utensil, all bets are off. Maoris like to cook, but (at least these days) not be cooked.
That giant coroner does not approve.
LMAO! Yeah, isn’t that the Undertaker from WWE?
He does look like the early Undertaker from the WWF days.
Expecting this one to move to Colorado very soon.
Dress your age. Ironically, in this case that’s 24 not 40.
“I is write book, with words.”
I was gonna say first person to do the “YEAAHHHHHHHHHH” thing dies, but I see Joe got here first. So the second person dies, and they die twice as hard because Joe already did it.
Glad I got here late, ’cause I was totally going to do the “YEAAHHHHHHHHHH” thing. And it was pretty much going to be what Joe came up with, too.
christ tom, it’s more played out than a kardashian microphone joke.
Obviously I disagree.
The 5-second rule requires you to pick it up, dummy!
Bullet to the Head? More like sewing machine to the head.
Please try a different hairstyle.
it’s amazing that she looks close to 30 yrs old in that picture because without makeup she looks 13.
What does Jim Breuer do to stay young?
God. She’s so skinny, even her dress is hungry.