The Crap We Missed – Wednesday 1.15.14

January 15th, 2014 // 473 Comments

Welcome to Wednesday’s The Crap We Missed and I don’t know if it’s something in the water this week (Too soon, corporate criminal dirtbags in WV?) or what, but here’s another massive gallery of celebrity schadenfreude so blatant that I’m starting to think Ryan Seacrest has heard my prayers for him to get Keith Urban to help him suck a huge off-camera dick. Also, it’s pretty clear to me now that GMA anchor Josh Elliot can no longer ignore my countless emails begging him to seductively feed Robin Roberts on live television. I can feel my power growing and it’s tremendous! Quick Pope Francis, do the aftershave scene from Home Alone!

I AM BECOME INTERNET DESTROYER OF TIME MANAGEMENT!!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Chelsea Handler Drunk Mary McCormack Reese Witherspoon Drew Barrymore Book Release
    Commented on this photo:

    Three drunk bitches.

  2. John Stamos Peforming With The Beach Boys
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll let you strum the guitar if you let me call you Rebecca.”

  3. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage Rosario Dawson Gimme Shelter Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a promo for Female’Celebrity Makeout’? Please let there be a show called Female’Celebrity Makeout!

  4. Val Chmerkovskiy No Socks Tuxedo 2014 UNICEF Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    “In Ukraine we always had to wear two pairs socks under boots in winter because Ukraine so very cold. I hate it. I tell myself that when I come to L.A. where winter is warm I would wear no socks. I love it. I love going sockless. Is bliss.”

  5. Jenny Mollen Jason Biggs Canoodling At Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Jenny Mollen is fucking hot!

  6. Jonah Hill Hightops No Laces Jeans Tucked Behind Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “The creature is wanted for a murder he didn’t commit…”

  7. Bebe Neuwirth Lazy Eye Pale Skin Bouquet Of Roses Chicago Return To Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she a vampire?

  8. Laura Cremaschi Bikini Butt Thong
    Commented on this photo:

    These tattoos actually perform a valuable service: Get fucked by Aerosmith, get branded for life.

  9. Josh Elliott Feeding Robin Roberts Chocolate Covered Strawberry GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pay up George! I told you I could get Robin to put my nuts in her mouth!”

  10. Anne Hathaway Terrified Of Autograph Seekers LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    “Miss Hathaway… Step over my head shot of you!”
    “Miss Hathaway… Co-sign my home loan!”
    “Miss Hathaway… Sign my birthday card!”

  11. Ryan Seacrest Keith Urban American Idol XIII Season Premiere Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Keith Urban’s face is morphing more & more into Nicole Kidman’s while Nicole’s is just…morphing.

  12. Keith Urban Harry Connick Jr American Idol XIII Season Premiere Event
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    Napoleon & Uncle Rico: The Final Battle

  13. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage Rosario Dawson Gimme Shelter Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    *Tickle. Tickle. Tickle.

  14. Tara Reid Drunk Getting Nails Done
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look…All you gotta do is get me a cup of water, mix in these nail care products and let me start a tab!’

  15. Josh Elliott Feeding Robin Roberts Chocolate Covered Strawberry GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    9 1/2 Weeks Part Deux.

  16. Michael Douglas Touching Jerry Weintraubs Face 2014 UNICEF Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let’s work on the ass cancer.”

  17. Tom Mison Good Day New York
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    I like Sleepy Hollow. It’s got John Noble in it as a sin eater. That’s some cool shit. We can’t all watch the Kardashian Klan like the Photo Boy.

  18. Matthew McConaughey Chatting Up Chicks On Photoshoot Set
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    He must be wearing some seriously great makeup here because he looks like he’s been shot at and missed, and shit at and hit in True Detective.

  19. Tara Reid Drunk Getting Nails Done
    Commented on this photo:

    “Suck your cock for a thousand dollars…Your friends can’t watch,or they’ll have to pay a hundred.’”
    “Get outta my Store!”

  20. Jennifer Lopez Butt Tight Dress American Idol XIII Season Premiere Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Attitude as big as her ass.

  21. Val Chmerkovskiy No Socks Tuxedo 2014 UNICEF Ball
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, ladies, you know how you always wear your boyfriend’s shirts or his jacket, right? He’s wearing his boyfriend’s pants and obviously he’s dating Tom Cruise.

  22. Chelsea Handler Drunk Mary McCormack Reese Witherspoon Drew Barrymore Book Release
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Chelsea looks better with the shorter hair. She’s still a bitch.

  23. Anne Hathaway Terrified Of Autograph Seekers LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    arrgh, I hate the parts of fame that don’t involve me in my chamber of solitude and millions of dollars being dropped off at my doorstep!

  24. Paparazza Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    He has a funny nose.

  25. Val Chmerkovskiy No Socks Tuxedo 2014 UNICEF Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    say what you will interwebs, he has put his penis in Kate Upton.

  26. John Stamos Peforming With The Beach Boys
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look uncle Jesse…I can play music too!”
    “Whoa! Where did you come from?”
    “Fuck this shit…I need a drink!”

  27. Susan Boyle Crossed Eyes Playing Bagpipes British Pipe Band Championships
    Commented on this photo:

    420 BITCHES!!

  28. Val Chmerkovskiy No Socks Tuxedo 2014 UNICEF Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    When you knock out a person and changing into his clothes to sneak into a party, make sure that other person is about the same size as you.

  29. Chelsea Handler Drunk Mary McCormack Reese Witherspoon Drew Barrymore Book Release
    Commented on this photo:

    They are hanging around Chelsea Handler purely for the vodka contact high.

  30. Bebe Neuwirth Lazy Eye Pale Skin Bouquet Of Roses Chicago Return To Broadway
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    The Grim Reaper got a makeover?

  31. LeVar Burton Licking Lips Digital Book Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mm.. Big asses are sexy!… I’ll eat a big bitches ass for days! Thinking about it is making my mouth water!…What’s that? Oh, right. Read a digital book. I’m gonna see if they have one about big asses!”

  32. Tom Mison Good Day New York
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the guy I think should be considered for the Dr. Strange movie over Johnny Depp.

  33. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Here comes the sun…and most of the male Superficial readers.

  34. Lindsay Lohan Blowjob Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what anyone says…She still looks incredibly sexy for a 50 year old woman!

  35. Tara Reid Drunk Getting Nails Done
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alright…Which one of you ate my little Chihuahua?”

  36. Jason Schwartzman Short Shorts Hairy legs
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dang it, I thought for sure that Eddie Murphy would give me a ride!”

  37. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Sports Bra Yoga Pants Ripped Abs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “Little mirror head on the wall. Why are you only two feet tall?”
    “Oh yes I’m short, oh this I know. About the height of your camel toe!”

  38. John Stamos Peforming With The Beach Boys
    Commented on this photo:

    He can’t even act like he’s playing a guitar!

  39. Susan Boyle Crossed Eyes Playing Bagpipes British Pipe Band Championships
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, NO! Blow, BLOW!”

  40. Engelbert Humperdinck Balding
    Commented on this photo:

    “I think Wayne Newton stole my identity!”

  41. Engelbert Humperdinck Balding
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ve got to save the Declaration of Independence…AGAIN!”

  42. Suzanne Somers Cleavage Yellow Teeth 2014 UNICEF BALL
    Commented on this photo:

    Still would! Oops…I think I just did.

  43. Boris Johnson Drunk Riding Swing Shadwell Community College
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stop this ride Mr. Wonka! I want to get off!”

  44. Paparazza Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    …is it weird that i’m over it?

  45. Claudia Romani Buttcheeks Upskirt
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    …she’s no Coco.

  46. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    What a cool picnic table!

  47. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage Rosario Dawson Gimme Shelter Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    That really is a nice view of Vanessa’s tits.

  48. Pope Francis Home Alone Face Weekly Audience
    Commented on this photo:

    “For the LAST time…Yes, it’s OK to eat meat on Fridays!”

  49. Jennifer Lopez Butt Tight Dress American Idol XIII Season Premiere Event
    TheCynic
    Commented on this photo:

    The original Lardassian.

  50. Michael Douglas Touching Jerry Weintraubs Face 2014 UNICEF Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gosh, Jerry, in retrospect, having you — instead of Matt Damon — play Scott Thorson, would have been a great idea after all.”

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