“I can haz Vienna sausages!”
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed rife with political martyrdom, more questionable Alexander Skarsgard photos (Does he have a delivery service now? WTF?) and one child‘s desperate attempt to escape a life of famewhorey and bulk purchases of hair wax removal packages. Also, a quick note on today’s Final Five, these pics are two weeks old, but we’re cheap and didn’t feel like paying for them at the time, so enjoy them now in all their free, questionable goodness.
#1 in Bland Cracker Haunches,
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdialy, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“I swear, pickles are the only long, hard thing I’ve ever had in my mouth!”
“Up my ass?….well…that’s a different question”
“I swear, I’ve never had sex with Deena!”
Ma’am, we’re gonna have to take you back to the ocean, this dry land isn’t a safe place for folks like you.
Is he turning into Rosie O’Donnel?
hahaha, thats the best face ever!!
“Take that Kim! Let’s see you land something better!”
Thought in her head: “Oh jesus, that’s like the 8th time….just keep smiling and ignore it….Christ, that’s the last time I ever make him ‘Cabbage Bean Surprise’ for dinner…”
so that’s what Emma Watson would look like if she was a girl.
Mommy, this cotton candy tastes like Donald Trump.
Donald, your hair tastes like cotton candy.
I’ve never had the urge to punch a baby in the face until now.
You’re not alone.
“Have you any walnuts I can harvest?”
The exact moment he realizes what family he was born into…
He was all like “Sheeit.”
I would let her poop on me
Can I have her after you are done with that? I would like to actually have sex with her.
nope. just for poopin
:D
“Is that my phone you lookin’ at?”
Awesome.
Who’s this fat bitch?
I dunno….is that a receipt to Stake n Shake?
She’s trying to shake loose the poop that got caught in her ass hair
Mission…to replace Barrymore’s star with my star on the walk of fame, thus screwing both him and Carlton.
“So precious…so precious…”
“Yo girl!! You better bring back my sandwich without that sauce or you gonna find out what a Rih-Rih is..”
“I can tell by the static cling that she is attracted to me. Bring her back in fourteen years.”
Gayheart and fatstomach.
well this sure isn’t Rose McGowan.
He travels under the alias “Panama McPickles”.
His corny Asian impression is starting to piss of some around him.
Me so solly!
Before I realized she’s holding a door open with her leg, I thought she’d stepped in Janice Dickinson
For less than a dollar a day, you can help keep this baby from transforming into a Wookie.
Mum would have been proud of me… is it me or is it hot in here mates?
I think he’s from south of the Mason Disick line.
Bravo.
One more day of these fucking Kreayshawn From The Black Lagoon ads and I’m going to have to start blocking them. Every time a page loads, I get this brief blurb of sound that sounds like someone is shooting her in the face with a silenced pistol.
adblock plus. I see nothing that you speak of…..but now I’m a little curious.
“you weren’t wearing a condom??
“I can’t believe you’re the bigger famewhore in this photo!”
The tinsel strength of some of this fabric today is truly outstanding.
Tensile strength; but we know what you were trying to say.
spell check is for suckers.
Yeah.. ignorance is coooooool.
Sucker. Spell check wouldn’t have caught that.
arcane christmas decoration reference. +1
Gerard Depard-two, hee hee hee !
“I’ve been walking around with this guy stuck in my ass all day! All day!”
Steve Coogan approves?
I know! Courtney Love must not.
It looks like someone snapped a photo at the exact moment of contemplation of her squatting and peeing in that cup.
OMG he IS alive!? I just lost ten dollars.
She towers over the puny Italian women!
Why do get the feeling that “Officer Gordon” is wearing tear-away pants?
…only to be brought through the White House back door to give an environmentally friendly beej to POTUS.
Twelve years ago, maybe.
twelve years ago for sure. you know bill would jump at that big ass.
I wonder if she welcomes a cavity search?
I’ll see your Jo Jo ta-ta’s, and raise you Raven’s breasts.
Staring into his eyes, you can almost see his little toddler soul die….
Somehow creepier than Voldemort.
I hope Lou Reed signs off on her eventual sex tape.
Slowly morphing into Chelsea Handler from the feet up. Now that’s a committed actor.
Looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman had a nice vacation.
Must. Not. Stop. Smiling.
“You peepin’ at my Snapple, be-otch?”
Kim Kardashian is jealous of the golden shower Prince Harry manned up and took from the crowd.
A B-cup girl stuck in a C-cup world.
exactly.
women….if your boobs do not fill the dress top please do not wear it. It doesn’t make you look like you have larger boobs. It makes you look desperate for boob slippage so people will focus on you a minute.
Wait…so we’re DIScouraging boob slippage now?
Wtf… more like a D cup dress