The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 8.30.11

August 30th, 2011 // 425 Comments

“I can haz Vienna sausages!”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed rife with political martyrdom, more questionable Alexander Skarsgard photos (Does he have a delivery service now? WTF?) and one child‘s desperate attempt to escape a life of famewhorey and bulk purchases of hair wax removal packages. Also, a quick note on today’s Final Five, these pics are two weeks old, but we’re cheap and didn’t feel like paying for them at the time, so enjoy them now in all their free, questionable goodness.

#1 in Bland Cracker Haunches,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdialy, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Snooki Jionni LaValle
    Commented on this photo:

    “I swear, pickles are the only long, hard thing I’ve ever had in my mouth!”

  2. Darryl Hannah Arrested
    Where's Tom Hanks?
    Commented on this photo:

    Ma’am, we’re gonna have to take you back to the ocean, this dry land isn’t a safe place for folks like you.

  3. Donald Trump
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he turning into Rosie O’Donnel?

  4. Alec Baldwin
    aznative
    Commented on this photo:

    hahaha, thats the best face ever!!

  5. Alec Baldwin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Take that Kim! Let’s see you land something better!”

  6. Alec Baldwin
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought in her head: “Oh jesus, that’s like the 8th time….just keep smiling and ignore it….Christ, that’s the last time I ever make him ‘Cabbage Bean Surprise’ for dinner…”

  7. Olivia Wilde
    Commented on this photo:

    so that’s what Emma Watson would look like if she was a girl.

  8. Donald Trump
    Commented on this photo:

    Mommy, this cotton candy tastes like Donald Trump.

  9. Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never had the urge to punch a baby in the face until now.

  10. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have you any walnuts I can harvest?”

  11. Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    The exact moment he realizes what family he was born into…

  12. Sophie Monk Cleavage
    Offendo
    Commented on this photo:

    I would let her poop on me

  13. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is that my phone you lookin’ at?”

  14. Amanda Bynes Short Shorts
    Offendo
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s this fat bitch?

  15. Reese Witherspoon Stomach Tattoo Bikini
    Offendo
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s trying to shake loose the poop that got caught in her ass hair

  16. Vinny Guadagnino
    Commented on this photo:

    Mission…to replace Barrymore’s star with my star on the walk of fame, thus screwing both him and Carlton.

  17. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    “So precious…so precious…”

  18. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo girl!! You better bring back my sandwich without that sauce or you gonna find out what a Rih-Rih is..”

  19. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can tell by the static cling that she is attracted to me. Bring her back in fourteen years.”

  20. Rebecca Gayheart Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    Gayheart and fatstomach.

  21. Mila Kunis
    Commented on this photo:

    well this sure isn’t Rose McGowan.

  22. Nick Nolte Red Face
    Commented on this photo:

    He travels under the alias “Panama McPickles”.

  23. Alec Baldwin
    Commented on this photo:

    His corny Asian impression is starting to piss of some around him.

  24. Bethenny Frankel
    Commented on this photo:

    Before I realized she’s holding a door open with her leg, I thought she’d stepped in Janice Dickinson

  25. Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    For less than a dollar a day, you can help keep this baby from transforming into a Wookie.

  26. Prince Harry Drunk Dancing Wet Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Mum would have been proud of me… is it me or is it hot in here mates?

  27. Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s from south of the Mason Disick line.

  28. One more day of these fucking Kreayshawn From The Black Lagoon ads and I’m going to have to start blocking them. Every time a page loads, I get this brief blurb of sound that sounds like someone is shooting her in the face with a silenced pistol.

  29. Tyronne Jackson

    “you weren’t wearing a condom??

  30. Snooki Jionni LaValle
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe you’re the bigger famewhore in this photo!”

  31. Raven-Symone Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    The tinsel strength of some of this fabric today is truly outstanding.

  32. Alec Baldwin
    Deucepickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Gerard Depard-two, hee hee hee !

  33. Snooki Jionni LaValle
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ve been walking around with this guy stuck in my ass all day! All day!”

  34. Alexander Skarsgard
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Steve Coogan approves?

  35. Laura Prepon Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like someone snapped a photo at the exact moment of contemplation of her squatting and peeing in that cup.

  36. Emilio Estevez
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG he IS alive!? I just lost ten dollars.

  37. Bar Refaeli Cleavage
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    She towers over the puny Italian women!

  38. Darryl Hannah Arrested
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do get the feeling that “Officer Gordon” is wearing tear-away pants?

  39. Darryl Hannah Arrested
    Commented on this photo:

    …only to be brought through the White House back door to give an environmentally friendly beej to POTUS.

  40. Mila Kunis
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she welcomes a cavity search?

  41. Raven-Symone Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll see your Jo Jo ta-ta’s, and raise you Raven’s breasts.

  42. Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Staring into his eyes, you can almost see his little toddler soul die….

  43. Ralph Fiennes Scruffy Beard
    Trixie
    Commented on this photo:

    Somehow creepier than Voldemort.

  44. Olivia Wilde
    Sodomy_Is_For_Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope Lou Reed signs off on her eventual sex tape.

  45. Laura Prepon Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Slowly morphing into Chelsea Handler from the feet up. Now that’s a committed actor.

  46. Nick Nolte Red Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman had a nice vacation.

  47. Kristin Cavallari Cleavage
    Coco
    Commented on this photo:

    Must. Not. Stop. Smiling.

  48. Chris Brown
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “You peepin’ at my Snapple, be-otch?”

  49. Prince Harry Drunk Dancing Wet Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Kardashian is jealous of the golden shower Prince Harry manned up and took from the crowd.

  50. Kristin Cavallari Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    A B-cup girl stuck in a C-cup world.

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