Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which you may notice is arriving several hours late because, Jesus Cristo, what a fucking afternoon. If the earth wasn’t rattling on the wrong coast thanks to Chick-Fil-A not being open on Sundays (I told them this would happen.), our network managed to have a frustrating number of meltdowns in the past 48 hours which was completely unrelated to the quake – Or soft breeze from a butterfly’s wing to you Californians. – but more importantly is entirely unacceptable to you guys, so huge apologies. We’ve got a crack team poking and prodding, yet no one’s trying my ideas because apparently computer servers lack sex organs. You got me.
Anyway, business as usual tomorrow – In theory. – and sorry again for the inconvenience. It’s been an asshole of a day.
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Is she out of the closet yet?
Things just don’t add up in this picture. There are other shots on the internet that show this scene from a different angle, and I am convinced that it was an inside job. Chairs just do NOT fall over like that..
Excellent.
“Ummm, Kelly. We’ve discussed this many times before… not when there are cameras around!
if I wear baggy clothes, they won’t be able to tell I just ate a pallet of cake.
flabby ass nobody
she’s due back under the bridge anytime.
Now that the 2 Taylors are apparently back together again, I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that he isn’t the Swift one.
Gotta admire the sly middle finger!
Yeah we joke now but a few digits to the north there would have been a lot of ING’s going on. Like less typing, less laughing, but rather more consoling from crying and dying. Sorry couldn’t work roughing in there for some reason.
The Jokers Mother.
Inna gadda da vida baby…
A sheepish Justin Timberlake arriving in the ER with his date for the evening after a rather unfortunate Krazy Glue mishap.
Why was this not given it’s own post?!?!?!
It was caused by Kim dancing at her wedding, just took a while to hit your coast.
Aaaaaahhhhh……Mmmmmmmmmmmm
A fine way to end proceedings. Especially after the wookie fright.
I have no idea who she is, but anyone who criticizes this chick is gay.
Yes, thank you for this Final Five, especially after yesterday’s disaster. (J. Lo. Yesterday’s disaster was J. Lo.)
it was a true mess in america’s entertainment industry since Michael Jackson left us, folks!!
Simple, distinctive but yet understated in its meaning.
Dammit Kelly, just because we fuck at home does not make you my girlfriend.
Ghostrider is a woman?
That is one big-ass tampon string.
Delicious.
And in every photo there’s Patton Oswalt saying it all with his eyes..
Wow, that is impressive that those fantastic tits show through that uniform.
She has to have been dead for at least 5 years now.
Clearly someone forgot to tell her.
And now… the easy lounge stylings of Joe Jonas….
And Justice for all.
Flawless.
Nice booty.
A victim of terrible plastic surgery, Vanessa Hudgens rushes back to her doctor with her nose in a cup after it fell off. Genius that she is though, she can’t figure out why her sunglasses won’t stay up.
That is one beautiful Jay Z toe she has going on there.
Like a motherfucking apple. Mmmm
In that outfit Alan is the only one Cumming.
I think she might have overdone it a little with her latest facelift.
I admire his attempt at being a gentleman, but I’m pretty sure that’s not where you put your hand to help a woman out of a car.
I’ve never seen a human with the neck of a Cardassian.
brilliant!
ps I LOVE KIDS!!!
stupid muslim tectonic plates. we will never be safe again.
It’s all their fault.
I see what you did there. +1
The Monopoly Man’s dastardly evil twin.
Hay Phillip… I’m pretty sure that she’s not gonna call you back.
Clearly a bad idea to get implants made of lead. Sure, it’s malleable, but….
Hospital bracelet AND the scarf of desperation? How much sympathy does one guy need?
Hmmm…not so much a crack team as a team on crack.
where did her bewbs go?
“It was a Fusilli Jerry. I swear to god it was a million-to-one shot!”
Well done, ASSMAN
Female Celebrity Boxes: He puts his junk in there.
“Mock me all you want, but it doubles my chances on a Saturday night.”
apparently, she’s supposed to be a bad ass in “columbiana”.
sorry, but bad ass and i could break you with a sneeze aren’t generally two things that go together. thin and fit is great – this is not htat.
My thoughts exactly… it’s laughable that male actors pack on tens of pounds of muscle to look convincing in a badass role, whereas all a woman has to do is to look fucking skinny. Thin does not = fit & strong, FFS. Starving yourself until you have no tits probably doesn’t take more self discipline than hitting the gym & toning up that musculature.
You do realize that you can’t tell your fat where to assimilate right? “Ok double cheeseburger, one patty per titty, let’s move!” Om nom nom.
She looks just like Kim. Remember when she wore an outfit like that about a month ago?
Perhaps Kris* banged MC Hammer back in the ’80s?
* The mother, not the son-in-law.
when did tom selleck get a gay pirate’s mustache? before or after the rosie o’donnell interview?
So now it looks like everybody wants to go to Barbados
jon bonjovi apparenty parties with gadaffi’s less nice son.
Is Jay Cutler really going to do better than this ?