Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which has experienced a slight delay on account of Chrissy Teigen in her underwear and me frothing at the mouth over how in the year 2011 not educating kids is somehow a viable political position. I’m very professional. Long story short, Jasmine Waltz is in a bikini at the end, and she looks like a hotter, less crazy Megan Fox who apparently bangs dudes that look like David Arquette. (Okay, so maybe not completely less crazy.)
I’m a weaver of fantasy,
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Pick up or delivery?
Nah, the hat screams “chauffeur.”
too cute :)
like dramatic chipmunk
What a Thriller.
Again?
Some women just like being pregnant all the time.
from Pink to Pig.
I dare you to say that to her face. She is all about cutting a bitch.
sorry Pink, but you do look like a pig in this photo. why the fuck did you allow this to air the internet?
Looks like a young Sharon Stone, damn she was foxy as hell back then.
I find your lack of side-boob disturbing.
the face a million marines masturbated over.
“Where’d they go?”
Why do I get the feeling that “All-Star Party” is somewhat of a misnomer?
“Go away! ‘Batin’!”
such a beautiful girl!! She has a really pretty face!
Now that guy is definitely straight.
Nah! I bet he’s just admiring her outfit.
Holy Fuck! I thought John Goodman was dead!
Me too! Yay John Goodman!
I think it’s Chevy Chase that’s the dead one here.
You need to mention which celebrity shlong she serviced for me to know who she is. The name does sound familiar.
Does it really make a shit as to what her name is?
Is there a character limit for these comment boxes?
Sargent slaughter?
Maybe he’s pregnant now
Peter Dinklage, Photographer at Lar…umm…small…
“Hmm, that’s funny…it normally smells like strawberries when I fart, but this one has more of a dark cherry thing happening…”
hahaha my favorite.
Dax? Dont let her dress you again.
Mmmmmmpies
And calzones!
That’s not a dress, it’s an excuse.
Wolverine 2 : Curse of the Pearl Necklace
“What? The tie? Yeah, just picked it up at the Douche Depot over in Silver Lake.”
Smart water? I’ll say…
i was trying to think of a way to incorporate that with my comment
It’s my understanding that nursing a baby is thirsty work.
Preppie garb overdose.
*barf*
there is something about her that gives me a strong desire to run over her in my truck.
You really can only polish a turd so much….its still a turd.
Looks kind of like Jennifer Love Hewitt realizing that all she has to do to stop Christmas is to steal all the toys, trimmings and turkeys in whoville.
I find her sexual orientation distressing…please, Amber, change even if it’s only pretend.
Looks like a chin on a mission.
Hey, the yodelling stripper, haven’t seen her for a while.
Maroon
WTF is on her feet?
Goddamn, what a mess that outfit is. Yet she looks surprising clear eyed & the lipstick is on her mouth not her teeth. 50% success.
Exactly what I was thinking, CD.
no sir, i don’t like it
Give her points for not looking like a slob.
or pregnant! Sorry, fish. You’re preggodar has been off lately.
This reminds me… whatever happened to flesh colored beard guy and plastic girl? They dropped off face of the earth…
It’s Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart.
I’d rather see Shakira in Lilliput than Jack Black.
Yes, honey, hold that finger up with pride…you’ve seen who you are marrying, haven’t you?
It’s Pippa!
Actually…my first thought was Katie Holmes…~ugh~
Baby! The other white meat!
Baby! It’s what for dinner!
I want my baby back baby back baby back..CHILLiiiisss baby back ribs!!!!
(bbq sauce)
I can almost see her moss.
And it’s the same color as the dress……mold.
so funny
She’s sooooooooooooo close to looking just like Coco Chanel.
Would you like me to rub that sunblock lotion in for you?
I do appreciate a man who takes care of his skin.
It’s ok, I’m a Dr.
Yeah, he’s fucking hot. I’d rub his sunblock in.
Kiehls…looking at this guy I am assuming it’s an appetite suppressant?
I’ll get these glasses to stop sliding down my nose even if I have to use Elmer’s.
I liked that jacket better on the guy on my bottle of gin.
Nice summer look.
It is nice. It’s good to see a celebrity not dressed like they live in a hobo camp.
I have a fishing lure just like those.