The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 7.16.13

July 16th, 2013 // 344 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that finds newly single George Clooney in Paris, because I hear 20-year-old French vagina is perfect this time of year. We’ve also got Chaz Bono whose nipplesque parts are somehow more realistic looking than Jennifer Nicole Lee‘s and finally (bear with me here) Valeria Golino, who we all wanted to bang when she was in Hot Shots and now look at what’s happened. Goddamn you, time, just goddamn you right to Hell.

Miss Bumbum Brasil‘s back as today’s Final Five. Probably should have just started and stopped with that,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Julie Scardina Huge Black Bird The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Four old birds

  2. Chaz Bono Shirtless Breast Removal Scar
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Still hotter than Jonah Hill.

  3. Melissa McCarthy Getting Arm Sprayed St Vincent De Van Nuys
    Commented on this photo:

    Lift up the gunt and spray under there if you want to kill the smell.

  4. Corey Feldman JacQue Delgado 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the same glove MJ touched him with.

  5. George Clooney Raised Eyebrows
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re 18, you say?

  6. Chaz Bono Shirtless Breast Removal Scar
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo should have a censor bar over those nipples. Or over that face, or that paunch. Whatever.

  7. Benedict Cumberbatch Long Curly Hair Derpface
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    About 2 seconds away from doing the most career-destroying Asian impression ever…

  8. Russell Brand Loose Yoga Pants Long Scarf
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Please Douchebag, don’t hurt ‘em.

  9. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Julie Scardina Huge Black Bird The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that her O face?

  10. June Shannon GMA
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    This bounty hunter is my kind of scum. Fearless and inventive. $35000, no less…

  11. Corey Feldman JacQue Delgado 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m in love with a Smooth Criminal…molester.

  12. Serena Williams Legs Bloomers Tennis Skirt SkiStar Swedish Open
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE-HULK SMASH SWEDISH MEATBALLS!!!

  13. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Julie Scardina Huge Black Bird The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t bringing an old vulture to the show a little redundant?

  14. Corey Feldman JacQue Delgado 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I think JacQue’s real name is Jack.

  15. George Clooney Raised Eyebrows
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me he isn’t slowly transforming into George Hamilton.

  16. Eli Roth Valeria Marini Cleavage Ischia Global Festival
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Dress up as nice as you like, you’ll still never be Tarantino.

  17. June Shannon GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy crap! Is that thing even HUMAN?

  18. Jennifer Nicole Lee No Bra Nipples Pointing Up
    Commented on this photo:

    The people in this picture must not be readers of thesuperficial, since they seem to have no idea who she is and the caliber of celebrity she represents.

  19. Corey Feldman JacQue Delgado 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    Commented on this photo:

    This man’s self-parody is brilliant.

  20. Carine Felizardo MIss Bumbum Brasil Winner Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, well, they definitely were not looking at her face.

  21. EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Good news, Cirque Du Soleil! We’ve found you a replacement!!

  22. Benedict Cumberbatch Long Curly Hair Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes a person’s name is just right.

  23. Miley Cyrus Midriff Holding Up Honey Boo Boo Picture ABC Studios
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, a white trash meta joke. Don’t see many of those.

  24. Corey Feldman JacQue Delgado 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Why weren’t the magnetic poles on her breast implants clearly marked? See what happens when both North ones are facing each other?!

  25. June Shannon GMA
    GLT
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she singing the national anthem, belching, or perhaps both?

  26. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Cleavage 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    Commented on this photo:

    All Star Celebrity?

  27. June Shannon GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    She’d probably be attractive if she lost 3,000 lbs.

  28. Alyssa Milano Times Square Appearance
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Just turn it three times in the direction that says “Tighten”.

  29. Corey Feldman JacQue Delgado 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    Commented on this photo:

    the hooker on the left must be on salary…

    • Oxford

      Did you notice how he made her wear flat shoes, so it wouldn’t be so obvious that he is sooooooooooo short. Really, who would wear flats and not high heels with a dress like that.

      • Sadly, that’s what I was thinking, too. “What kind of self-respecting whore wears flats?”

        Then I chuckled heartily at “self-respecting” and “whore”.

      • “Eighty-six the high heels, toots. The Corey likes flats on all his gals.”

        “Whatevs, freak, it’s your money.”

  30. Corey Feldman JacQue Delgado 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Joaquin Phoenix thinks it’s time to let the rest of us in on the joke.

  31. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Julie Scardina Huge Black Bird The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Now everyone make your best porn “money shot” face!

  32. Chaz Bono Shirtless Breast Removal Scar
    Grace
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s actually lost weight. Good for him!!

    (I’m not on the right site with my positive comment, am I? LOL)

  33. Kelly Hu
    Commented on this photo:

    Kelly Who?

  34. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Julie Scardina Huge Black Bird The Today Show
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    ERMAGERD PERLICERNS!!

  35. Heidi Klum Swimsuit Instagram
    Mr. Sensitive
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, Heidi, we saw those other “Age Meets Gravity” pictures.

  36. Russell Brand Loose Yoga Pants Long Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy on right is slowly catching Russell’s style.

  37. Benedict Cumberbatch Long Curly Hair Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do the roosters have large talons?”

  38. Jennifer Nicole Lee No Bra Nipples Pointing Up
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, Jennifer? You’re not going to believe this, but I’m standing next to the funniest looking tranny you’ve ever seen!

  39. Russell Brand Loose Yoga Pants Long Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    See? Ignorance IS bliss!

  40. Melissa McCarthy Getting Arm Sprayed St Vincent De Van Nuys
    Commented on this photo:

    There! We found it! There’s the wet spot!

  41. Jennifer Nicole Lee No Bra Nipples Pointing Up
    Randal's cousin
    Commented on this photo:

    Things are finally looking up for her.

  42. Valeria Golino Cleavage Ischia Global Festival
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s been 9063 days since your last decent role…yeah…

  43. June Shannon GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    “You wouldn’t believe it. Nothing in there but books. Most of ‘em didn’t have pictures even. Weren’t no lube, whip-its, dildos, or nothing. I’m telling you folks, it’s the weirdest bookstore I’ve ever been in.”

  44. Alyssa Milano Times Square Appearance
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever that blond lady is doing to her, I want that job.

  45. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Julie Scardina Huge Black Bird The Today Show
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    No, it’s actually a bird…not the Grim Reaper.

  46. Carine Felizardo MIss Bumbum Brasil Winner Bikini
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    DEM THIGHS

  47. Hoda Kotb Kathie Lee Gifford Julie Scardina Huge Black Bird The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Convenient when vaginal discharges hit on live television

  48. Alyssa Milano Times Square Appearance
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks as if she will be giving away a pen with each signed photo.

  49. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Cleavage 8th Annual BTE All-Star Celebrity Kickoff Party
    lola
    Commented on this photo:

    the one on the left bought that shirt about 3 sizes too small

  50. Melissa McCarthy Getting Arm Sprayed St Vincent De Van Nuys
    BP
    Commented on this photo:

    I have never seen 1 minute of her TV Show or any of her movies, I hate Fat Chix!

Leave A Comment