Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed that sadly fails to replicate yesterday’s butt blitz but don’t worry, there’s still plenty of “That person is still alive?” and “I’d pee in her butt.” material in here for you to anonymously keyboard hate babies into. Starting with Vanessa Paradis who still hasn’t learned that closed mouth smiling could have saved her relationship, Lou Diamond Phillips who really could have waited until Will.i.am came around with his valet ticket before apologizing for that dent, Channing Tatum‘s thinning hair which won’t at all stop Fish and I your wife from blasting one out to his assless chap dancing and finally, the upsetting realization of what a sexually embarrassing hell Melanie Griffith‘s life has been ever since those goddamn Shrek movies came out.
The Naked Cowgirl was almost your Final Five. Almost,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN
“I SEE DICK!”
Why, yes, this does remind me of Camilla.
Tom Cruise is single?!?! ZOMFG!!1!!!!!
Looks a little like a nice retarded cousin of mine…just enjoying an ice cream cone.
This picture is making me so sleepy.
mmmmmmMMMMMMOOOOOOOooooooo
Where’s Cock Doctor? I haven’t seen her around since she got into TomFrank’s windowless van.
Hold the fuck on TF… You said we were planting a tree. You said we were digging that hole to plant a tree.
MOO
Oh, it was my van, huh? Well, at least we’ve established who’s Fred and who’s Shaggy.
Must be one hell of a cargo van to fit that thing in there.
Georgio, we’re following up on this. Or at least, I am. No telling what’s going on in McBeef’s half-baked brain.
Looks like she’s been working out!
Nah, she’s just wearing tighter jeans
Did Sarah Jessica Parker sink this low? When the hell did this happen?
Je Me Suis Fait Tout Petit
Roughly translates to “Not enough teeth”
cette femme n’a pas assez de dents.
johnny depp said in an interview that he fell in love with her the minute he saw her elegant back from across the room. this picture leads me to believe that he did not see her face.
It means he is very much an ass guy. Or he is very much in pirate smiles. Maybe both…
George Hamilton in his new role as “Possum Man”
“Don’t turn around. Bilbo is looking for some non-hobbit ass.”
That car can do 0-60 in 3.1 seconds (without her in it).
Watch the pharyngeal jaw, Joe!
AND I SAY GOD DAM…i’d bang her with a tampon and peanut butter
My friend Andy Dufresne told me: If you don’t take time to relax and eat some ice cream once in a while, you’ll let your life pass you by…
Get busy eatin’ or get busy dyin’…
HE takes the escalator?
BB GORILLA…PUT THAT SHIT BACK IN THE ZOO
How are things in Coeur D’Aline with the brotherhood Neo?
Methinks it’s spelled Coeur D’Alene
Guten tag, Fraulein Kruger!
Anyone else here thought that was Kirsten Dunst? I mean, sure you’d have to suspend disbelief someone knocked her up but….
TBH if i got to see and grope Kristen’s breasts i would knock her up.
I think I could get an erection around Kirsten Dunst if you could get her to agree not to talk in front of me.
PS. MOOOOO
Why can’t that happen to the whole damn family?
AAAAAHHHH She ate E.T.!!!
Maybe more than one even…
“This smells like horse mea… CAMILA NOOOOO!!!”
Just hanging out in my jorts eating soup.
The woman in the background can be nothing other than British.
Even the French are making zombie movies.
You go Ted Nugent!
I thought Michael Bay had a side gig.
I was going to say she looks like a faces of meth picture of the Olsen twins, but remembered that they already are the faces of meth picture of the Olsen twins.
When he was young everybody was that colour. That’s why they call it the bronze age.
No wonder Johnny Depp is so comfortable doing those Burton movies.
Remember Melissa, the secret to looking slim is hanging out with people who are fatter than you. Now, go find Jessica Simpson.
Her ass makes a Lamborghini look narrow.
I think Pippa has a better ass than Melanie.
Oh pleeeeease, everyone has a better ass than Pippa!!
There’s no reason for a woman this thin to have an armpit boob. Fire your stylist now.
Wandering implants.
I think he thinks he has taken her hostage with his finger gun.
Ah, but just think of all the money she’s saving by not having any reason whatsoever to buy dental floss.
Dental twine is actually more expensive–not less.
She just uses a shoe shine brush.
I’d pee in her butt. Oh, wait…(There ya go, PhotoBoy!)
She is so damn pretty. Yeah, I know some people say she’s got cankles, but considering the rest of the package, cankles, in MY book, are acceptable.
Hey, isn’t that Arnold’s maid? I’m glad she’s back on her feet.
By the looks of it, he’s had another go at her.
“Wait your name is William, so you named your self Will.I aaaarrrghh!!, i’m having a inanity heart attack!!”
Carl: “Billy, if you were around when this picture was made, you’d be in it.”
Billy: “I’m not in this picture?”
I’m touched, you want to remix La Bamba?
That reminds me. I have a picket fence that needs repairing.
Josh Hartnett…name sort of rings a bell…
“Wait. This. Isn’t. Ice cream.”
Every episode of CSI Miami started just like this.
The slopes are OPEN!
Does she floss with yarn?
Rope.
No a rope with knots tied in it.
tire iron
Great, yet another sign she’ll never make a rockin sequel to “Firestarter”.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you, before I slap that chinstrap off your punk face.”
white pants dont look good on anybody but the GOOD HUMOR man
TOTALLY agree
Who the hell does she need to impress? She’s rich, beautiful, has an old man and a young-un on the way. Tell her to her face that white pants don’t look good on her and I’ll bet she laughs at you.