“A bat? Fock that, I’mma turn in into a wee closet with a toilet innit.” *POOF*
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you at normal time because I couldn’t convince Fish to cut out early for The Lucky One. YOU PROMISED! Anyway, today we’ve got Seal‘s matching finger and toenail polish, the group of middle-aged women behind Christie Brinkley saying it all with their eyes, as well as Tim Burton badly in need of a reference from Steven Tyler‘s dentist. And while we’re on the subject of oral hygiene, yeah….
Serena Williams‘ secret is she’s always angry,
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The Amazing Mumford
What is that? Fucking herpes or something?
Maybe from the bong.
The chlorine in the pool doesn’t kill that shit?
“Yeah, yeah, crazy motherfuckers, I lost that bet…”
At… the… Image… Awards…???
Poster-child for herpes prevention?
A new ‘Faces of Meth’ campaign?
The PSA for the perils of bong burns?
I don’t get it, man…
And it’s the “American Image awards” no less… is this really the image we want to be showing? The image of lip herp?
She looks good for drunken whore!
Count Fuckula!
actually his is just heading out for a date with Dita Von Teese
When Michael passes you the bong…..decline.
Yeah, I don’t get why her ex-husbands called her a narcissist either.
OMG Nick! Is that John Travolta?
“Yeah, it is. Why the fuck does he think we’re masseuses anyways??”
He looks like the most emaciated vampire ever…
Take that Superman shirt off! You pussy!
Those hens in the background are all pissed because they’re the same age as her, but they look the part.
I don’t believe there is even one plain Janes in the background that is as old as she is…
Looks like he got some of Klum’s cast-off clothing and accessories in the divorce.
At least he finally fixed his hair…
Is she a midget?
So they’re allowing the blacks to play golf these days?
Only if they dress like this. They figure that it’s even more degrading than forcing them to use different drinking fountains.
ummm…what’s up with the soaked crotch, there, buddy?
“No, you get my car!”
“No, YOU get my car!”
Sponsored y Crest White-Strips.
Oh wow, Melissa River is Looking quite nice here!
I hope he doesn’t blow his polygrip, some poor bastard could lose an eye
Actually, he is warming up to fall of the stage again.
singing: “Janies got an overbite”
Wow, if ever a picture of judging and condescending women…
Nick: “People still buy our music! Can ya believe it?”
Joe: “I know, right?”
Dude, the paparazzi’s vision is not motion based, you douche!
Don’t look at me now damn you! Just reach lower, keep reaching lower, lower!
That’s right–who needs boyfriends, anyway? You go, girl!
Thought it was Debra Harry at first glance….
He looks deaf.
This is genius!!! One might ask, “how do you LOOK deaf?” But I totally get you! HE DOES!
I hear you can get plantar warts from dirty showers…but on your face?
Why are some comments not likable?
That is fucking phenomenal
A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, works in a country you’ve definitely heard of, it doesn’t matter which, where one of these, I’m not saying who, goes when they want to do ‘certain things’ if you get my drift.
And listen, I said nothing, right?
Just found out he got another reprieve from the glue factory.
Apparently horses can have nine lives too.
Sweet shoes, bro.
So that’s what the Phantom of the Opera looks like without his mask? Um…put it back on, please.
Is this really the image we want to be rewarding?? Isn’t Jersey Shore enough??
When someone asked if Cocaine killed vampires, a big laugh was had by all.
“I want to suck your cock!”
“Advantage: Williams’ vulva.”
You see, in Madrid, “Masters Series” is translated as “Masters Batalla,” leading to common misunderstandings like this one.
Justin: “Just… saw… real… art!… People… in.. room… better… dressed… than…me!… Some… of… them… younger!…. Some… more…. talented… some… richer!… Justin confused!”
Jessica: “Oh, don’t be silly, JT! Let’s go clubbing, get shit-faced, and later I’ll let you snort coke off my ass! Everything’s gonna be fine! *giggle*”
Wow. I think the Olympic afterglow is gone. Time for this dude to move into the house with Mary Lu Retton, Bruce Jenner, and all of our other former Olympians.
Have you not noticed who lives in Bruce Jenner’s house? I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Look at those feet. You don’t see that much ash after a forest fire.
Looks like he just finished stamping out a forest fire.
Man of steel has a glass bladder.
That would not be so much a motorboat as a motor submarine. Great shirt.
Unsurprisingly, it also fits when you flip it.
Well right now i’m researching a movie about mentally ill homeless people who need dental work REALLY bad
There’s your problem lady, your douchenozzle’s come right through the floor.
“My shoes. I took them off on the plane. Now they are gone. Can you help?”
Gahhhh…
This anti-smoking campaign is getting out of hand
“P p p push it real good . . .” Not what Salt or Peppa had in mind.
Little known fact: Kryptonite weakens EVERY muscle in Superman’s body, including those attached to the bladder.
Nightmare Before Crest.
Little known fact: They couldn’t find dentures to fit his gaping pie hole, so they actually had to use horse teeth.
Why did Miley dye some of her hair white?