The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 5.28.13

May 28th, 2013 // 474 Comments

“Seriously, enough with the Candice Swanepoel butt pics.” – Nobody in the history of Candice Swanepoel butt pics.

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which thanks to the decision to make the lead pic a huge widescreen tribute to butts, has no room for the rest of the thumbnails.  I promise there’s more than just Candice in here, although I’m sure you’ll figure that out once you splint up the finger you just broke clicking into gallery. We’ve got Leonardo DiCaprio bringing his mom to a red carpet event, as well as the awkward moment when Amber Rose spit into her palm after the DJ yelled ‘Who’s ready to party?’, Halle Berry at Disneyland wearing probably the same outfit as all the other expectant moms, and Taylor Lautner‘s date whose face is almost as bored as her vagina.

Fish told me to bring back The Final Five, so, yes, I will be flogged unmercifully for this not being Jon Hamm,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Shia LaBeouf Martial Arts Class Sitting On Sidewalk No Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    Is today’s “Crap” sponsored by Bud Light? If so, apropos.

  2. Nicole Kidman Cleavage Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re getting that neck skin to look very realistic these days.

  3. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Who ever thought you could put Jim Jarmusch in a room with 2 other people and he’d be the most normal looking one?

  4. Candice Swanepoel Butt Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “Still not gonna drink that piss beer” (Sulks in the corner and masturbates furiously)

  5. Ryan Lochte Boner Speedo UBC Aquatics Centre
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy behind him has quite the camel toe going on. Jeah!

  6. Will Smith Hugging Soccer Player UEFA Champions Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    I heard there was a gay soccer player coming out, but didn’t realize it was Will.

  7. Jeremy Renner The Immigrant Photocall Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aren’t you guys a little old to be telling gay jokes?”
    “No sir, we are not. This is The Superficial, where gay jokes is still a guaranteed freedom…”

  8. Candice Swanepoel Butt Thong Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one fantastic hynee. I mean it….that thing’s good.

  9. Candice Swanepoel Butt Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Paparazzi photography has truly been revolutionized by the invention of the fine-ass-detecting auto-focus technology.

  10. Candice Swanepoel Butt Thong Bikini
    Bill Clinton
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come on, one of you guys must want to put your ball-sack right here.”

  11. Bradley Cooper Hugging Michael Fassbender
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonderful, Fassbender’s (giant) straw was what broke Cooper’s back and turned him gay…

  12. Shia LaBeouf Martial Arts Class Sitting On Sidewalk No Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    Say, Shia—is there an actual, inside studio for this “class”? Because if not, you might just be paying some guy to punch you on the street.

  13. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is applying for statehood once Texas secedes.

  14. Nicole Kidman Cleavage Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    When did she get boobs ?

  15. Bradley Cooper Hugging Michael Fassbender
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s right, ladies. This is happening…

  16. Nicole Kidman Cleavage Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Some poor assistant was turned to stone for that hair faux pa…

  17. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    She should have stayed in the box.

  18. Bradley Cooper Hugging Michael Fassbender
    Bill Clinton
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait… Jeremy Renner’s got his hand out, asking for a man-sack in it…. be right back.”

  19. Shia LaBeouf Martial Arts Class Sitting On Sidewalk No Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    Silkscreen is not a “martial” art.

  20. Ben Affleck Brown University Honorary Degree
    Commented on this photo:

    If you can view this picture and not imagine him saying “Get outta here” in a Boston accent, you are a better man than I…

  21. Corey Feldman Michael Jackson Costume Stand By Me Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow…I guess Michael really did touch him in so many ways.

  22. Nicole Kidman Cleavage Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    Bill Clinton
    Commented on this photo:

    RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! SHE’S LOOKING FOR SOULS!!!!!

  23. Nicole Kidman Cleavage Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, Zulu. November-sierra is a negative.

  24. Will Smith Hugging Soccer Player UEFA Champions Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    The gay is strong with this one.
    -David Beckham

  25. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m digging the wolverine hair.

  26. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Loki, Dr Pretorius, and a troll doll walk into a bar..

  27. Michael Keaton Suspended By Wires Birdman Set
    Commented on this photo:

    micheal keaton? yer bullshittin.

  28. Uma Thurman Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    so that’s weird.

  29. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Bill Clinton
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow… the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000 has come to life.

  30. Jim Jarmusch Tilda Swinton Crazy Hair Tom Hiddleston Only Lovers Left Alive Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately, Cindy Lou Who was unable to attend the reunion.

  31. Joe Francis Whispering In Scott Disicks Ear 30th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m telling you, I have the most awesome dungeon under my house. You can keep your mother in law of those kids in there for weeks!!!”

  32. Adam Lambert Hammer Pants Eye Make Up Vienna Lifeball
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Please Lambert, don’t hurt ‘em.

  33. Amber Rose Cleavage Swimsuit Post Baby Body Ditch Fridays Palms Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Jessica Simpson, Batman.

  34. Adam Lambert Hammer Pants Eye Make Up Vienna Lifeball
    Commented on this photo:

    sweet doubloons, ya butt pirate.

  35. Zach Galifianakis Shaved Beard Goatee Moustache The Hangover Part III Premiere Paris
    Commented on this photo:

    So the colonel used all his money to invent a time machine, wonderful…

  36. Will Smith Hugging Soccer Player UEFA Champions Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Knowing only about Soccer what he had seen in David Beckham photos, Will just did what came naturally.

  37. Leonardo DiCaprio Cameron Diaz Tag Heuer Yacht Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She promised him an oscar under her skirt. Boy is he in for a surprise…

  38. Leonardo DiCaprio Cameron Diaz Tag Heuer Yacht Party
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    “I once tapped that”
    “yes indeed you did”

  39. David Faustino Much Taller Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish my GF was taller than me. Probably easier to find those chicks if you are 4′ 11″ though.

  40. Taylor Lautner With Girl Dodgers Game
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    Taylor: Crap! Play Dead. Amanda Bynes just sat down and it’s vision is based on movement.
    F-Buddy of Taylor: We’d be invisible in your bedroom…
    Taylor: …
    Amanda Bynes: RAWR! *Murders Vagina*

  41. Will Smith Hugging Soccer Player UEFA Champions Festival
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s called “playing grab-ass”. A lot of fellas are into it.

  42. Melanie Griffith Lifeball
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking a bit smug after passing Sharon Stone on Maxim’s “Least Bangable” list.

  43. Roman Polanski Emmanuelle Seigner Cleavage La Venus A La Fourrure Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Mademoiselle, do you know how they say sodomy in French?
    Sodomie….

  44. Adam Lambert Hammer Pants Eye Make Up Vienna Lifeball
    princess camletoe
    Commented on this photo:

    god only knows what you had to do with Justin Bieber to get his pants.

  45. Bradley Cooper Hugging Michael Fassbender
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I always suspected Cooper played for the other team.

  46. Joe Francis Whispering In Scott Disicks Ear 30th Birthday Party
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Sign outside Hyde Nightclub yesterday: “We will be closed tonight for a private, douche bags-only reception. See you tomorrow!”

  47. Shia LaBeouf Martial Arts Class Sitting On Sidewalk No Shoes
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I knew he’d eventually be broke and homeless.

  48. Candice Swanepoel Butt Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “and everybody saw you let one rip”

  49. Joe Francis Whispering In Scott Disicks Ear 30th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeaaaa… This seems right… Shhhh! Just let it happen…

  50. Nicole Kidman Cleavage Zulu Premiere Closing Night Ceremony Cannes
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    There is so much ice there that those nipples would slice you to shreds.

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