The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 4.16.13

April 16th, 2013 // 292 Comments

“Eet was jus lika dees, only the seat move-a up-an down.”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where at this point I’d usually make some lefty political joke about a current event, but instead I’d rather just get straight to the tits and dick jokes like a professional journalist. Anyway, here’s Robert Pattinson quite literally getting tit for tat (Tat in this case being receiving cunnilingus in a parked car by your married boss.), David Spade and the delicate art of negotiation and Heather Graham responding to the question “How do you think the rest of Farrah Abraham‘s life’s going to go?”

“Terribly,” she gasped in between fits of laughter, “Just absolutely terribly,”

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. David Spade Talking To Hot Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    “If I bang him, I’ll be able to say I banged him … but I’d have to bang him.”

  2. Chloe Sevigny Drunk Milkmaid Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    This year’s Coachella also featured yodeling.

  3. Jared Leto Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s thinking to himself, “These here scuba britches will inspire the respect that has long eluded me.”

  4. Pamela Anderson Wrinkled Face International Beauty Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I gather she was there as counterpoint.

  5. Robert Pattinson Katy Perry Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Robert: Please Katy, can I lick’em?
    Katy: No, Robert. I know where your tongue’s been.

  6. The Situation Sipping From Straw
    Commented on this photo:

    “Does this 3 Stooges haircut make me look fat?”

  7. Jane Lynch People Doing Yoga Belvita Web Series
    Commented on this photo:

    I wanted to go but I couldn’t afford her celebrity queef class.

  8. Constantine Maroulis Mutton Chops
    Commented on this photo:

    “A white whale you say? Show it to me.”

  9. Elisabetta Canalis Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress Blindfold Paperissima
    Commented on this photo:

    How far down has she fallen that she has to CGI George back into her life???

  10. Jude Law Knit Hat Sweatpants
    Commented on this photo:

    Trend victim scribble tattoo? Check.
    Ski cap to hide baldness? Check.
    Ample bulge in sweats? Che….wait.

  11. Robert Pattinson Katy Perry Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s vote:
    1) Drug deal
    2) Begging for a threesome
    GO!!

  12. Brooke Shields Crazy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    You almost had me fooled with that wig, Depardieu, but the hands gave you away.

  13. Jane Lynch People Doing Yoga Belvita Web Series
    Commented on this photo:

    Partial buffet?

  14. Jared Leto Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwwww

  15. Snooki Geek Shirt Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Well there goes any cool factor us geeks had…

  16. The Situation Sipping From Straw
    Commented on this photo:

    “My momma always said ‘life is like a slice of red velvet cake’ sluurrrpppp!”

  17. Snooki Geek Shirt Twitter
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    The word geek is back to being an insult?

  18. Snooki Geek Shirt Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    it doesn’t say “GEEK”. It’s an acronym for “Green Extra Egregious Klamydia”

  19. Snooki Geek Shirt Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just going on the assumption that she ate the baby

  20. David Spade Talking To Hot Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    Why wear glasses when you’re famous? They don’t care that you’re staring at their boobs.

  21. Andy Dick Posing With His Three Children
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    What don’t you understand? His name is Dick, not Condom.

  22. David Spade Talking To Hot Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    he elicits that particular look in women so often it has come to be known simply as “The Spade”.

  23. Carol Alt Nipples See Through Dress Pain And Gain Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s still smoking hot…

  24. Carol Alt Nipples See Through Dress Pain And Gain Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    would I? oh yes. Oh yes indeed.

  25. David Spade Talking To Hot Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    “You can’t break up with me, I’m famous”

    “yeah, but your David Spade famous…not like Adam Sander famous, or even Pauly Shore”

  26. Al Pacino Messy Hair Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Al, ditch the Spector locks, it was just a role.

  27. Pia Rizza Bikini Mob Wives Chicago
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Pizzeria has manface.

  28. Chloe Sevigny Drunk Milkmaid Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    That outfit seems like it should be hot…but on her it just looks like a chick who’d suck a greasy dudes dick on camera to get an acting job.

  29. Chloe Sevigny Drunk Milkmaid Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    which raises an important philosophical question, do you let an acid tripping Chloe suck on your brown bunny? No, because she may try to eat it.

  30. Andy Dick Posing With His Three Children
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not even close to the most dicks he’s had at once.

  31. Andy Dick Posing With His Three Children
    Commented on this photo:

    not really his kids.

  32. Pamela Anderson Wrinkled Face International Beauty Show
    Commented on this photo:

    AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!

  33. Brooke Shields Crazy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    We’re all thinking it Asian dude…man hands.

  34. The Situation Sipping From Straw
    Commented on this photo:

    To be fair, he’s accustomed to having much thicker things in his mouth.

  35. Robert Pattinson Katy Perry Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t mind Kristen here, she just won’t leave me alone”
    “Um, Rob, that’s not Kristen”
    “Whaaa-?”

  36. Robert Pattinson Katy Perry Cleavage Coachella
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “My girlfriend Kristin call hers ‘boobs’ too, but damn, you both can’t be right.”

  37. Jared Leto Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I call this look “ironical meta hipster – psshhhh, whatever”

  38. Robert Pattinson Katy Perry Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    How is your skin all bunched up and pushed together in the middle like that?

  39. Jane Lynch People Doing Yoga Belvita Web Series
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If we can just get a few more of these WASP-y wholesome looking blonde lesbians on the telly gay marriage will quickly be legalized in all 50 states.

  40. Chloe Sevigny Drunk Milkmaid Coachella
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, still in your Oktoberfest outfit Chloe? Party on gurl!

  41. Elisabetta Canalis Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress Blindfold Paperissima
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s wearing Jennifer Love Hewitt’s bandage dress.

  42. Pia Rizza Bikini Mob Wives Chicago
    Commented on this photo:

    FUUUUCKKKK YOOUUUU!

  43. The Situation Sipping From Straw
    Commented on this photo:

    Little known fact: “The Situation” used his Jersey Shore money to quietly put himself through accounting school.

  44. Constantine Maroulis Mutton Chops
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    Wolverine: The Hipster Years

  45. Jude Law Knit Hat Sweatpants
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, finally, I can squeeze one out while no one is around to notice…..

  46. Stacy Keibler Legs Short Shorts Hiding Face Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, I thought Stacy Keibler was a chick? But I guess Clooney has been banging an awkward pasty ginger douche all this time.

  47. Paula Abdul Drunk Toasting
    Commented on this photo:

    Shots. Jello Jello Jello shots. Her they go. Down into my belly.

  48. Elisabetta Canalis Cleavage Legs Tight Minidress Blindfold Paperissima
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “And so this is the only position that got George aroused. Then I figured I might as well be fucking Steve-O, it would probably be safer.”

  49. David Spade Talking To Hot Chick
    Commented on this photo:

    That sounds icky. Are you sure you’re still rich?

  50. David Spade Talking To Hot Chick
    MisterSHO
    Commented on this photo:

    You know he hated that outfit. (Minus the tank.)

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