Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which I’m not even going to lie is mostly The Breasts We Missed from the G.I. Joe: Retalliation and Olympus Has Fallen premieres. And sure, it seems crass to selectively showcase only those women, but you might want to save those kind of complaints for someone who didn’t spend at least 20 minutes today choosing which angle most effectively peered into Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s shirt. This is my job. Anyway, I also discovered that Diego Luna has been Ashton Kutcher this whole time, as well as all that criticism about Taylor Lautner‘s Twilight performance having the emotional range of a wax figure may have been more spot on than anyone realized.
I wonder if the wax figure vampire baby that he bangs in the last movie just isn’t finished yet, because SPOILER ALERT he bangs a baby in the last movie,
- Photo Boy
I’d like to take a bite out of that.
Great screen name.
Safest place for a burger. In the hands of a model. It’s like Casablanca to them.
“It’s so realistic.”
“It’s a lifeless dummy.”
“Exactly.”
“It can’t do anything accept stare and take its shirt off!”
“I want it for my next movie!”
“It has the emotional range of a cinder-block and doesn’t move!”
“Someone draw up a contract!”
No one will ever say anything more funny than this.
I know it’s raining. But no way I’m singing!
Did Matt Parkman just charge her mounds?
His dogs are named “Pussy-whipped” and “You’ve-Been-An-Asshole-Lately-So-Take-These-Cute-Dogs-For-A-Walk-And-Make-Sure-You’re-Photographed.”
Mind the gap
Fucking brilliant
According to yesterday’s photo, she has several asses in the front.
Kelly Clarkson lost weight!
Will need therapy. Many, many years of therapy. – Carmen Electra, after having a flashback.
“Guys, this is okay, but I would rather have that big black microphone over there. “
Who here could really go for some flapjacks?
I can’t write a comment that’ll make this picture any funnier. I resign.
The please say something so I can beat you to death pose.
I’m sorry, what was your name again?
100% Jewburger…. A little toasty..
PS: It’s cool, this is like the n-word for my people…
what ‘n’ word, Nakba?
Genuine feminine beauty! Thank you Rebecca for sharing this precise hint of your naturally perfect form, fit, and function.
Wonk boobs.
Katie Couric is looking youthful.
Since when is walking across a stage while playing patty cake with your pussy considered performing?
“I feel pretty, motherfucker. Oh so goddamn pretty.”
I guess there are different ways of proving your womanhood.
Wait… someone let this fucker come back to America?
So that’s where she keeps all the rings?
Well it finally happened: All the island butt sex has set her ass on fire….
This isn’t what Martin Luther King fought for.
So that’s where she keeps all the rings?
Looks like he’s no longer in a Hough.
And all this time I thought hot girls didn’t like when guys farted on them.
everybody knows that’s just an urban myth. fart away, chicks dig it.
This dude could either pass for Willie from Duck Dynasty or Ashton Kutcher.
Ooh, harsh.
Fair but harsh.
“This…. This is wonderful… It’s the exact same color as the portable I shagged the last one in…”
stinky.
It’s Scully
I’m really tired of the glamorization of bulemia…wait, was she actually pretending like she would eat that? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Jeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seacrest and Timberlake, that sounds about right.
Genetic time bombs are a BITCH!
You can drive a Mack truck right up the middle of that.
“What a glorious feeling, I’m unhappy agian”
“This isn’t hamburger. It’s 100% seal . . . I’ll let that sink in.”
I now understand his fits of rage…
My God this guy is the fucking king douche of all douches. Still beating the dead horse with that Jeah line he stole from MC Eight . Tool.
I think it’s unfair to call a retard a douchebag.
I think the answer is simply, “Not remember these broads names in the morning.”
I worship at the temple that is that cute little ass of The Tiz.
Back in my day we just called it jerking off. And we did it with JcPenney catalogs.
Or National Geographic.
Oh and the when Victoria’s Secret catalogs started showing up…. You kids today don’t know how good you have it.
There will always be a special place in my heart for Tim Berners-Lee.
I would have guessed Alec to be more of a cat person, specifically the maine COON.
Don’t let that WWE belt go to your head. Stormshadow has a sword.
And moments later a bidding war erupted between Tom Cruise and John Travolta for the statue.
TCLTC
* Apple corer and lube sold separately.
I know they say Black Don’t Crack, but this is ridiculous. This woman is more than double Lindsay Lohan’s age.
Woman, just stop, you are not hot and have not been for decades.
Damn, have not seen this little slut in forever. Apart from the shit tattoos, she still looks good.
Looks good if you fantasize about Martin Short in drag.
Goddammit.
Damn you. Damn you to hell. Boner poison.
I’m not saying it’s the flattest ass I’ve ever seen, but… I guess I have nothing left to say then.
She and her uncle have the same taste in lingerie I see.