Welcome to a special double-wide edition of The Crap We Missed so right off the bat you know it involve’s Kim Kardashian‘s ass and also us bailing early yesterday for a Skarsgard movie marathon in our PJ’s to observe Presidents’ Day. Anyway, today we’ve got David Copperfield demonstrating his mystical rape-punch that sends beautiful, unsuspecting women flying into his secret island lair, Joe Jonas and Russell Brand revealing they shop for white capris together and Sharon Stone discovering that Carnival is no fun when incontinence strikes.
Did you know Orangina is the preferred drink of pedophiles? Richard Gere does now,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
What is the sound of one gerbil choking?
LOL!!
Winner!
“Here’s 5 bucks, tell your pap friends I’m here. There are plenty more Lincolns where this came from. I’ve got about 4 million of them in my ass.”
“No, trust me. He’ll puke you back up alive and unharmed. Well, alive anyway.”
Photo captures the moment Elisabetta realizes she used to date George Clooney and now dates Steve O, or as her brain puts it, “OMG WTF!!!”.
He must be walking behind Adrian Grenier.
This is soothing my still-raw emotions about the Rihanna/Chris Brown post. Thanks be to Fish.
Oh holy Christ.
More like Hare Krishna.
Holy Christ he’s totally the ZigZag dude!
She looks red carpet classy.
All three men were disappointed to find out that “doing a train at a cartoon awards show” was not what they thought it would be.
Ha ha!
Oh I thought it was the dad from Modern Family
No..in TWO years I’ll look like Antonio Banderas in FIVE years.
WOW. Even her breasts have breasts!!
Double-boob!
I’m not into fat chicks but for this one I’d fuck her if there was a chance I could stick her toothbrush up my ass so she had something to remember me by.
Two haggises, a sheet and… Viola!
Man, her rates for a BJ have really gone downhill since the whole wedding fiasco…
In the background there is always a woman saying “Oy gevalt!” whenever Simmons walks around Miami without his bathrobe on.
“It’s OK, Fido, it was only Kim Kardashian farting.”
It was such a violent fart, it blew the makeup off her face.
Self respect?….Meh
I bet he could show Chris Brown a thing or 2 (See what I did there?)
You mean like magic tricks?
The human shaqui-pede….
The world thanks you for leaving your shirt on
+ 1
RUN! It’s Tonya Harding!
Where’s Chris Hansen where you need him???? Oh right, he’s right here…
Faces of Rohypnol
Reminds me of the monster puff fungus that grow on rotting logs out in the woods.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“Darn it, if my stylist won’t bring me gauchos to wear, I’ll MacGyver up my own!”
Sherp McDerp.
Uh….Morgan Freeman?
Damn beat me
damn damn…me too.
I did that joke last week no one cared.
White-ish Morgan Freeman?
More like sad-ass white-ish Morgan Freeman.
Looks good, better than usual, no digs from me here. In fact, fap fap fap fap . . . .
Every chair she sits on must feel like it’s been thrown unexpectedly into a game of dodgeball.
Like she even needs a chair with that bean bag ass.
He thinks he can win in a fight against The Gay.
Her back is finally giving out.
It’s always funny to see men facelifted so tight.
With obvious hairpieces…
see Burt Reynolds…
Who rape women on their private islands.
(just kidding, that didn’t happen)
It’s the latest yoga position, “Shitting Dog”.
Can you pick out which person in the background is thinking “dat ass!”…I know you can.
Is it the Tusken Raider behind her?
Don’t do it Russell!!! It’s not just a fart!!!
He’s starring in the remake of “Silver Streak” as Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor’s characters.
Simultaneously.
(For you, TomFrank.)
It’s too late. And I registered for you!
Caught making out with a horse. Poor girl.
And a brain-damaged horse at that!
“He can’t tell me not to wear women’s sunglasses… I’ll show him…”
Is this the episode on Animal Planet where an Orca devours that surfer girl?
“Ms. Stone, are you happy with your long-distance provider?”
+1
Would someone please get this guy some Gold Bond already?
Shouldn’t he be filling my gastank?
fuck this guy is a douche
I don’t know about the greatest living actor, but he is a great actor.
James Franco is the greatest living actor and a legend in the making.
Shouldn’t he be creating invisible paintings with invisible art brushes & invisible oils?
That only deserve invisible money in return…
Cousin It has a much fatter ass than I recall.
Staring at the cleavage I picture two things.
One of them is Junior Mints.
milk duds?
Still trying to call David Copperfield a rapist? You must have missed that whole thing about him being cleared because that whore was a liar?
The story about him being a rapist and having his own secret rape island is too funny, so anything that contradicts that is to be ignored. You haven’t been to one of Copperfield’s recent hypnotism shows now, have you? I heard that show is much better than ‘Cats’.
That poor poor bastard has no idea what kind of life lessons his old man set him up for….
I’m not so sure. He kinda looks like he has a pretty good idea.
Yeah, the look on the kid’s face says it all: “And I’m the one who has to live with them.”
Poor kid. Dad’s bat shit crazy, and sucking on Mom’s tits only results in doses of silicon.
“Keep Memory Alive foundation’s Power of Love Gala”
Seriously? Who names these events?? Someone who gets paid by the word?
Huey Lewis named this gala.
That’s the Power of Love!
Katy was a fool to give up on this….
signed, sarcasm
Truth is, THIS gave up on Katie. Makes you think.
TWO! I take 2 in the butt…