[Ed. Note: Short day today while we slowly rebuild the pieces of our lives i.e. return all these six packs to an acceptable drinking temperature. GODDAMN YOU, SANDY! WHERE'S YOUR SOUL?! Back tomorrow with a hopefully more robust line-up of famous people doing stupid and/or sexy shit. - SW]
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which I fortunately didn’t have to compile from a rescue raft. Today’s gallery is a little light and leaned heavily on Britain’s Pride Awards, which apparently require crazy eyes and/or mostly exposed breasts to qualify for, so well done, old chaps. We’ve also got self-styled honorary Brit, Gwyneth Paltrow responding to the suggestion that they donate this food to the homeless, as well as Rosanna Arquette or a midnight shift Waffle House waitress (There’s really no way to tell the difference anymore.), and finally, two nice young gentleman helping this old lady who fell and couldn’t get up.
Today’s Final Five is not JWoww. Make that mistake and get cut, bitch,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
What an odd place for a set list.
You could fit the Declaration of Independence on that ass.
But thats not what I want to put on that ass!!!
“I know it’s touching the floor again…
Just smile and let me roll it back up when he leaves…”
Jennifer Westfeldt seen right before she shot Greedo from under the table with John Hamm’s penis.
I love her but WHY does she always make that lame ass face? SHE’S JON HAMM’S GIRLFRIEND!
SHE HIT THE BOYFRIEND LOTTERY!
QUIT MAKING THE “I JUST SNORTED A LEMON AND NOW I CAN’T BREATHE” FACE!
Now that Disney owns it, they’ll turn it into a flashlight or water gun or something
WTF? This is Disney not Sesame Street. You know they own Marvel. Where’s the squirt guns in those movies?
Considering George Lucas has been ruining Star Wars since the 80′s every time he puts out a newer version of the same movies, I’m looking forward to seeing what they do.
Since the 80′s?
“BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA You simple peasants think you can cook by my side!”
Or…”I pull organic, gourmet cuisine right out of my ass–no, really, I just took a crap, and you can eat it!”
Definitely using both hands.
I heard MILF gangbangs were the coming thing in porn . . .
Is he high? Or just day-dreaming about one of David Beckham’s “personal adjustment” shots?
WOW. that just sucks.
Wow, her face just made their logo cringe…
its supposed to be 3 vaginas.
Smile when you call me “campesino,” Flaca.
DANCER ON LEFT: “Rotter-DAYUM!”
shes actually happy here because Hurricane Sandy destroyed the Jersey Shore and all its herpes n stuff. There IS a god.
Which one is real? Which one is fake?
WHO THE FUCK CARES???
Cabbie, I need to get . . . wait, aren’t you that guy from that movie?
Those are definitely new…
the flip flops?
I have some bad news for you…
Indian Curtis?
” . . . and this is what I would look like if I were a victim of human trafficking . . .”
Asshole.
Doody bubble inspection.
Too easy. Just too easy.
And yet you failed so miserably.
This is not a competition Animal. We are here to have some fun. If you can’t deal with this concept go join Gordon Ramsay in his quest to bitch and quibble over the most superficial of things. And don’t you use day old basil for the sea bass!
Nah. It’s a competition.
I’m willing to forgive her support for Obama…
Yep. Beautiful AND smart.
Nope. Vapid AND brainless.
“What are you waiting for? You’re faster than this. Don’t think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.”
“Lawrence, just stick to the phone script, ok? We need votes.”
I think she might have missed a few buttons on the front there. And also, puberty.
it’s Roseanne not Patricia Arquette, again
Add Toto is wondering what the Hell were we sing about?
Amanda Bynes in 10 years. “Make me look BEAUTIFUUUUUUUUUUUL!”
Someone enjoyed the shocker.
Ditto the above. Enormous difference.
http://literalminded.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/futurama_fry_looking_squint.jpg?w=300&h=225
Blend in all you want, we can still see how annoying you are.
Damn she has an enormous vagina.
Boob window used very well. Bravo.
Yes mam, it’s hemorrhoids
He’s going to karate people into voting.
You almost had me for a second, but I see your game, Joe. You’re just pretending to be gay so that it’s no longer creepy when you ogle your daughters. Your mistake is this: no gay man would wear non-matching beige on beige.
Jesus!!
*Shudder*
I guess all those inappropriate comments he’s been making about Jessica’s boobs all these years were just tips as a stylist. A pimp stylist.
Stampedes are the worst.
She’s got that smug “Yeah, I can take it all” look, doesn’t she?
Gwyneth Paltrow uses her secret ingredient: Tin Man’s penis.
“Hahahaha I gooped.”
The knowing stare of a man who’s just roofied his date.
Grandpa Walton?
Can i get an autograph Penelo…oh, sorry, never mind!”
Looks like they tried to cross-breed Penelope with Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Looks like they tried to cross-breed Penelope with an acne-ridden dolphin.
MOO.
Herd.
The show was stopped when Tyrone realized the muffled cry for help was coming from Ms Lopez’s sphincter. The missing backup dancer had been found!
Mugshot?
That’s what Jennifer Aniston was hoping to achieve.
I remember her! She advised me to “Press debit or credit.”
I thought Will Ferrell was done with sports comedies. What’s the name of this one, Clubbin’ The Wood?