The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.21.14

August 21st, 2014 // 365 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed that starts with butt and ends with classic butt and has nothing to do with Nicki Minaj which, after yesterday, is astonishing because I could have sworn she absorbed them all. Even today, when I close my eyes, I only see those weird sun spot lights, but in the shape of two hippos sharing dental floss. Anyway, none of that has anything to do with Sean Connery and I bring that up because I inadvertently found the greatest anecdote about his life while googling his wife’s name. It’s from 2013, you can read it here, then come back and we’ll discuss how this somehow didn’t make national headlines complete with a hero’s parade and Medal of Honor ceremony.

Get Sarah Palin on the phone, I’m ready to support Obama’s impeachment now,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Lina Nilson Bikini Roberto Cavalli Shirtless Yacht
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me put some sunblock on your chest Grandpa… I mean honey.

  2. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    before she stood on the beach like that, the lighthouse was just a pile of rubble.

  3. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    Going the Chris Farley route.

  4. Demi Lovato Wilmer Valderrama Disneyland
    Commented on this photo:

    Wilmer, this text is from Kelly. She says that there’s trouble in Sheetrock Hills.

  5. Chris Brown Gold Grill Mouth Open Karrueche Tran Team USA Game
    Peter
    Commented on this photo:

    The kid on the top right is not impressed

  6.  Sean Connery Wife Micheline Roquebrune
    Commented on this photo:

    don’t pull it, Mr. Bond, it’s a trick!

  7. Paris Hilton Butt Bikini Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not planning to live forever. I would.

  8. Raven-Symone Cleavage Purple Hair
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Coming out of the closet must involve eating lots of Doritos.

  9. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    That shirt will never button up.

  10. Jon Hamm Holding Ball The One Show BBC
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Forget Hamm, I’m just excited to see Jennifer Love Hewitt’s younger, thinner, hotter niece.

  11. Michelle Rodriguez Belly Crop Top
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Headed back to the fishmarket?

  12. Patrick Schwarzenegger Crazy Haircut If I Stay Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah yes. The classic Asian-Indian phase. Signified by the poor attempt at modernizing the Nehru jacket, it’s common among the spoiled, rich, lacrosse playing future frat-boy twats.

  13. Jon Hamm Holding Ball The One Show BBC
    Commented on this photo:

    The pants that woman is wearing is fucking awful. she should take it off right now.

  14. Serena Williams Cleavage Muscular Legs Minidress Delta Airlines Open Mic Night
    Commented on this photo:

    There is absolutely no doping in tennis.

  15. Joe Simpson Drunk Shirt Buttons Popping Open Warwick Nightclub
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s mad that Joe Jonas already has a manager.

  16.  Sean Connery Wife Micheline Roquebrune
    satan'srighthand74
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve got to ask you about the Penis Mightier

  17. Lina Nilson Bikini Roberto Cavalli Shirtless Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    after firing the one that holds his beer and the one that scratches his balls, he found solace with the one that mops up the drool

  18. Kathy Griffin Crazy Devil Face The Late Show With David Letterman
    Radar O'Reilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Carrot top got implants?!

  19. Shannon Doherty Hiding Behind Suitcase LAX
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Washed-up Celebrity Tip #36: You may not be able to afford to fly first class anymore–but if you can fit in a suitcase, you can still get there in Mexican Coach!

  20. Perry Farrell Wearing Scarf Chugging Wine On Stage Brixton Academy
    Commented on this photo:

    if I only had a dollar for every 100 hours spent listening to Jane’s Addiction.

  21. Mel B Nipple No Bra Romper
    Commented on this photo:

    mel b a mess.

  22. Ryan Seacrest Showing Stomach To Girlfriend Shayna Taylor Yacht
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m telling you for the hundredth time, girl, elves don’t have belly buttons!

  23. Claudia Romani Butt Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    yuck. only looks good from certain angles. This ain’t one of em.

  24. Dakota Fanning Jamie Strachan Holding Hands
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    I really hope this relationship doesn’t end with Jamie Strachan telling a 911 operator “She’s not breathing!”

  25. Kelli Garner Cleavage If I Stay Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful.

  26. Perry Farrell Wearing Scarf Chugging Wine On Stage Brixton Academy
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Again, “performing” and “drinking” are two different things.

  27. Paris Hilton Butt Bikini Balcony
    Aaron
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still do her. And penicillin. Her and penicillin.

  28.  Sean Connery Wife Micheline Roquebrune
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks shaken, not stirred.

  29. Perry Farrell Wearing Scarf Chugging Wine On Stage Brixton Academy
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    We should clone Perry for our future army. He’s pretty much un-killable.

  30. Paris Hilton Butt Bikini Balcony
    satan'srighthand74
    Commented on this photo:

    If she leaves the glasses on and you can’t see her wonk eye then she looks good. Then you find out who she is and it all goes downhill from there. Downhill right into a clinic.

  31. Lina Nilson Bikini Roberto Cavalli Shirtless Yacht
    Commented on this photo:

    For one terrifying second, I thought this was going to be an uptrunk.

  32. Demi Lovato Wilmer Valderrama Disneyland
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Asian Mickey Rooney is about to put a stop to this pedophile shit!

  33. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    He heard De Niro once gained 50 pounds for a movie role, and he thought “I can beat that! I’ll gain 50 pounds for EVERY movie role!”

  34. Ben Affleck Grey Hair Blowing Bubble
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty much telegraphing how Batman Vs. Superman is going to turn out.

  35. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    Energy/matter is neither created or destroyed, it’s constant. I lost 10 pounds and now I know where they went.

  36. Raven-Symone Cleavage Purple Hair
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s so HOLY SHIT!

  37. Michelle Rodriguez Belly Crop Top
    Commented on this photo:

    I would. She’d most likely kick my ass before, during and after, but hey, I got laid.

  38. Chris Brown Gold Grill Mouth Open Karrueche Tran Team USA Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “You gonna take that shot, or do I have to slap a bitch?”

  39. Patrick Schwarzenegger Crazy Haircut If I Stay Premiere
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Schwarzenegger sperm will produce a girly-man if crossed with a Kennedy.

  40.  Sean Connery Wife Micheline Roquebrune
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    This first time I’ve ever felt sorry for Sean Connery.

  41. Kathy Griffin Crazy Devil Face The Late Show With David Letterman
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    You can tell this is Photoshopped. She’s in sunlight and not bursting into flame.

  42. Ireland Baldwin Bra See Through Shirt Dog Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay, so I’m not twisted into a pretzel in this pic, but I did just make this balloon dog!”

  43. Shannon Doherty Hiding Behind Suitcase LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    “Jennie Garth’s not in this suitcase. That’d be crazy.”

  44. Joe Simpson Drunk Shirt Buttons Popping Open Warwick Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Joe. Once again Lena Dunham won the “Who wore it best.”

  45. Fred Durst Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Chateau Marmont
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fred Durst at Chateau Marmont”

    …And here, kids, we see the North American Douchebag in his natural habitat.

  46. Raven-Symone Cleavage Purple Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Another Trunks? Okay, this one is definitely Future Trunks.

  47. Serena Williams Cleavage Muscular Legs Minidress Delta Airlines Open Mic Night
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE HULK MAKE JOKES! SHE HULK SMASH AUDIENCE WHEN NO LAUGH!

  48. Kathy Griffin Crazy Devil Face The Late Show With David Letterman
    Commented on this photo:

    I actually *like* Kathy Griffin, but she’s really not doing herself any favors with all this knifework.

  49. Dakota Fanning Jamie Strachan Holding Hands
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gone full Olsen Twin. You never go full Olsen Twin.

  50. Fred Durst Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Flea is taller than I thought.

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