The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.23.13

May 23rd, 2013 // 355 Comments

Welcome to a glorious Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where I got the wonderful news that I might not be headed to the Hell I don’t believe exists. Although that caveat about being a good person might be tricky considering I have no intention of stopping this daily post. Shit. Oh well, at least I’ll roast in the good company of people like Cocaine Cowboy Bradley Cooper, the Assbeast of the Whore Klan, Shaq for making Kazaam and/or this guy blow him, and Brittany Murphy up there if we could manage to keep her dead this time. Seriously, how the fuck is that not Zombie Brittany Murphy up there?

Or maybe just because I did this. I’m aware I deserve to burn just for making you look at that,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Briden Starr Zombie Brittany Murphy The Great Gatsby Premiere Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s amazing what you can motivate her to do once you announce her casting in Happy Feet 3…

  2. Zach Galifianakis Bradley Cooper Greasy Hair Justin Bartha The Hangover Part III Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    Exhibit A: High as a motherfucker…

  3. Briden Starr Zombie Brittany Murphy The Great Gatsby Premiere Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    That is an ass that won’t quit…or so the young’uns say

  4. Mel B Bikini Squatting Over Stephen Belafonte Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    So does the B stand for Bag?

  5. Montana Fishburne Butt Acne Bikini
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I would have sworn that was Tracy Morgan.

  6. Victoria Silvstedt Cleavage Open Mouth De Grisogono Party Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Great, someone reboot her plea… uh wait, never mind…

  7. Derek Jeter Leaving Starbucks Philip Written On Cup
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess “Philip” is a better pseudonym than “Herpes Dude.”

  8. Lloyd Klein Female Friend Flashing Thong Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Who knew John Lovitz had a gay(er) alter ego?

  9. Paris Hilton Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris, sweety, you’re about 6 years too late to jump on Kim’s black mic bandwagon….

  10. Alicia Keys Playing Piano With Butt O2 Arena Dublin
    Commented on this photo:

    Tickling the ivories with her pooper… Yeah I went there..

  11. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Posing For Fan
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    Preciousssssss?

  12. Adrien Brody Drunk Lara Lieto Cleavage Roberto Cavalli Yacht Party Cannes
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s probably not any drugs of any kind in that necklace he has on

  13. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Posing For Fan
    Keno
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh my, you are correct…you are full “Weasley”. Very nice. Now may I move on?”

  14. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Horizontal Stripe Dress HPNOTIQ Glam Louder Program Launch
    No Standards
    Commented on this photo:

    Unleashing the brown note.

  15. Sharon Stone No Make Up Roberto Cavalli Yacht Cannes
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t understand. *sniffle* Why doesn’t anyone want me to re-enact my beaver shot?

  16. Mel B Bikini Squatting Over Stephen Belafonte Yacht Cannes
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that love or is that bullying?

  17. Adrien Brody Drunk Lara Lieto Cleavage Roberto Cavalli Yacht Party Cannes
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy looks like he’s about 2 minutes away from dying of AIDS.

  18. Briden Starr Zombie Brittany Murphy The Great Gatsby Premiere Sydney
    Nonnie Moose
    Commented on this photo:

    Would hit it. Would pretend that it was Brittany Murphy.

  19. Harvey Fierstein Eating Giant Hot Dog Brooklyn Diner
    Commented on this photo:

    I used to work with this Muslim girl, she was nice and everything, more of a valley girl than jihadist… Anyways, TLDR, so there was this sandwich wrap that was left over from our catered lunch, wrapped up in foil, and she asked me if she could have it. I was like, “Sure!” even though I knew there was bacon and all sorts of haraam jammed in that thing. She ate like half of it before she figured it out.

    I was like, “Shit, I didn’t know!”

    The point is, I hope that hotdog is full of pork.

  20. Tom Brady On Slide With Son
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it easier to bond with the little ones if you’re at their same intellectual level?

  21. Brooke Shields Crazy Face 21st Annual Playground Party By Central Park Conservatory
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one that wants to watch Shields and Shriver fuck/fight?

  22. Alicia Keys Playing Piano With Butt O2 Arena Dublin
    Commented on this photo:

    Cute girl with unfortunate calves and boobs.

  23. Briden Starr Zombie Brittany Murphy The Great Gatsby Premiere Sydney
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes I just have to say…WOW.

    That is a great ass.

  24. Shaquille O'Neal Bamboo Nightlcub
    Commented on this photo:

    “I didn’t bring it out to give it some air…down you go brother”

  25. Mel B Bikini Squatting Over Stephen Belafonte Yacht Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Male face rape is not a joke. If there were a woman in this photo we wouldn’t be laughing.

  26. Lloyd Klein Female Friend Flashing Thong Butt
    Don Draper's Dad
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s gotta be a health code violation.

  27. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Posing For Fan
    Commented on this photo:

    “shit, I DO look like a dork. Oh well, I’m still rich”

  28. Kelly Brook Cleavage Instagram
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    I love what motherhood did to Natalie Portman’s breasts.

  29. Lloyd Klein Female Friend Flashing Thong Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    I see he’s bringing home a dog bag from the restaurant.

    I know what I said.

  30. Briden Starr Zombie Brittany Murphy The Great Gatsby Premiere Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s definitely Brittany Murphy. I’m glad to see to see she’s still alive, that means I still got a shot.

    P.S. that’s an amazing ass.

  31. George Clooney Drunk Stumbling Red Sunglasses
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not Clooney, that’s a caricature of Clooney.

  32. Richard Dreyfuss Liver Spots Old Looking All Is Lost Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “So Amanda Bynes told me about this great new tanning place…”

  33. Mel B Bikini Squatting Over Stephen Belafonte Yacht Cannes
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim said I should try this, but I think I’m forgetting something.

  34. Montana Fishburne Butt Acne Bikini
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “What if I told you the penis was real?”

  35. Paris Hilton Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I take it “Gotha” is French slang for “Deaf.”

  36. Derek Jeter Leaving Starbucks Philip Written On Cup
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can I get a grande mocha? My name’s Philip.”
    “Comin’ up.”
    “I tell people I’m Philip so they don’t know I’m Derek Jeter.”
    “Who?”

  37. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Posing For Fan
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey buddy, can you write your address on this? I am going to send you the antidote to whatever the fuck it is you’ve got.

  38. Derek Jeter Leaving Starbucks Philip Written On Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    Right now Philip Seymour Hoffman is bitching out some poor Starbucks barista for losing his order.

  39. Alicia Keys Playing Piano With Butt O2 Arena Dublin
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, Farrah Abraham thinks she’s kinky cuz she took a glass dildo up her pooper? I’ll show her . . .”

  40. Kelly Brook Cleavage Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    If you came home to Kelly Brook every day you could take on the world.

  41. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Horizontal Stripe Dress HPNOTIQ Glam Louder Program Launch
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone looks like she’s enjoying the fact that she can’t get pregnant.

  42. Ashlee Simpson Legs Short Shorts
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Pants are always optional in NY NY.

  43. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Horizontal Stripe Dress HPNOTIQ Glam Louder Program Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking at her in profile, it occurs to me that she is not a well balanced woman.

    • Steve

      You mean her face wasn’t a dead giveaway that she’s not a well balanced woman? How about her soul sucking pariah of a mother who cheated on her dying husband then passed the kid off as so should could get more child support since her hairdresser didn’t make shit?

      • Steve

        You mean her face wasn’t a dead giveaway that she’s not a well balanced woman? How about her soul sucking pariah of a mother who cheated on her dying husband then passed the kid off as his so should could get more child support since her hairdresser didn’t make shit?

      • nothing so complex, I just mean she’s got a huge ass for having such small boobs.

  44. Tobey Maguire Smirking The Great Gatsby Premiere Sydney
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the forced smile of a man mistaken for Danielle Radcliff one too many times.

  45. Kelly Brook Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    All thats missing is Natalie’s turd in the toilet behind her.

  46. Briden Starr Zombie Brittany Murphy The Great Gatsby Premiere Sydney
    boxlunch
    Commented on this photo:

    that chick looks one overweight husband away from dying of pneumonia.

  47. Heather Graham Cleavage Crazy Eyes The Hangover Part III Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfection. Plain and simple.

  48. Paris Hilton Gotha Club Cannes
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    “Performing” is one way to put this…

  49. Zach Galifianakis Bradley Cooper Greasy Hair Justin Bartha The Hangover Part III Premiere London
    Commented on this photo:

    Zach and Justin weigh the pros and cons of the threesome Bradley’s just pitched to them.

  50. Richard Dreyfuss Liver Spots Old Looking All Is Lost Premiere Cannes
    withers under pressure
    Commented on this photo:

    ” and a great deal on an eight – ball”

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