Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed that probably shouldn’t even exist today because seriously, a Stephen Dorff post? This isn’t what I signed up for. Anyway, since I’m too principled to let you miss out on random celebrity minutiae, here’s Katy Perry throwing up the shocker (also known as ‘foreplay’ to her ex), as well as Jane Seymour who heard you actually gave your wife one of those tacky heart necklaces that she sells. Bloody dreadful.
I’d go on, but there’s a shot of James Belushi in here and the Final Five is literally a random waitress in a bikini. No, really.
- Photo Boy
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Oh I thought John Goodman had lost weight
wat’s up my smurfette betches… westsieeeede
that’s the shocker, dumb shit.
fat guy in a little pair of glasses….
“…and then Gary Busey was all ‘NNNEERRRRGHHH’”
BAHAHAHAHA! Gold.
wtf…. this kardashian thing is like a cult
“Made from the whiskers of organic kittens!”
The shocker? A ring with kissing lips on it? Does she have to break out a wheelchair for Russel to take the hint?
You see kissing lips, I see a blue vagina. To each their own.
Depeche Mode, Whoo!
Short gay dude trying to get laid before his unibrow comes in.
So is he Waterboy in real life?
I feel all strokey!
fuck me don’t have botox laydeez = or look like this.
And, yes, she may also be having an [minor] embolism.
“She got a star on the walk of fame? BUWAAHAHAHAHAHA… I had to see this for myself…”
My finest creation! All 5 members of Aerosmith in a single body!
If that’s not in The Most Important People, then there is no justice in the world.
when i saw the photo my first thought was..is that Steve Tyler? my God, he really looks like shit. he must of have really tied one on the night before cause he looks like death warmed over…i mean, more than usual.
hilarious, along my thoughts exactly!
and then I was like…… “….nnnoo…. ddddeeeerrrrrrp…” so there.
Jonah Hill just can’t keep the weight off, can he?
Sometimes I get some toothpaste in my hair, too, but rarely that much.
eew.
urgh, eye bleach required. He looks plain dirty (not in a good way, in a scummy greasy way)
What no scarf?
Jane Seymour introduces her new line of DIY facelift kits.
Where’s her hockey helmet?
Somewhere, someone COUGH * Kim COUGH just hired a wookie assassin to kill this pretender…
baaaaaaaaaaad weave. Somwhere, some poor peasant lady/cow/animal with long black fur/ has woken up bald
She’s kinda fat. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I’d take her out for a burger or two.
Besides a cup size that has to be HHHHH or some such thing, where’s the fat?
Looks great to me…
I think the word is “healthy”.
You think she’s fat? Who do you usually date prisoners of war?
WTF is a matter with people? She has a beautiful, curvy, healthy body! No wonder there are so many girls and women with eating disorders!
Sorry…def fat
quick breath check.
“Damn, still smells like ass!”
You mean cock…
Nah… hairy ass.
Johnny Park?!
“If you heart is open and half of your face is sliding off, love will always find a way in.”
fucking hilarious
The best fucking comment I’ve ever read on an internet comment board….EVER.
Just how much does it cost to have ones labia relocated sideways?
What the hell are you talking about?
My first thought when I saw how small the bottoms are was that they barely cover anything. it’s a given that the chick is waxed, but there are still female parts that run vertically. Google it if you’ve never seen them.
So I was wondering just how it is that there wasn’t a twat slip (like a nip slip only twattier). This got me thinking that her vagina must go sideways.
The comment was a little obtuse and as soon as I hit “submit” i wished I could go back and delete it.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Eric, you really have to google “female parts” because you clearly don’t know where those “female parts” are located.
nice attempt at being clever & funny
WTF is wrong with this alien girl?
something something gerbil
That’s the angry look of a man who signed on to a movie based on the title, only to show up and realize he will not actually be inside someone named Llewyn.
This is Justin Bieber in 12 years.
I just want her between two pieces of bread.
“JT here. I need a comb out. Like, right now.”
I found an IKEA salesman!
Hey Fish Dude!!! Why is it the only nipples we see any more are Russell Brands?? What happened to the old Fish dude that would provide ample boobage to enjoy??
Yeah! We want nipples!!! Female ones!!
If not for The Superfical. nobody would know what a Jonas is.
The tumor on his tongue must add an extra dimension of
sensory pleasure during fellatio.
Note to self…
put munchies directly behind couch from now on.
First thing I noticed. Wonder if he uses a small ‘fridge as an end-table?
bong-table
hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh as a mutha fucker
Wow she looks manlier than him…
Holy Gay.
This is where my finger is going tonite. Into this guy. Yesss!
Against all advice, she went Full Shields.
very nice.
beware of the were-derp!!
Honey, Honey, the doctor said if I open my mouth like this, the little guy inside me can breathe…
Man, it must suck being stalked by Death.
Mom! Grandma tried to fart and shit herself again.
He must be walking in the infamous 2nd Floor Masturbation District.
Tom Cruise just posted this pic on the Scientologists’ Wall Of Shame (under “long term effects of post-partum, anti-depressant use”)
Brooke just smiled and ate some crayons.
That had me laughing until I cried :)
Hipster Jesus.
I dunno…. the Gospels suggest that Jesus bathed at least once, which looks to be one more than this assclown.
Making cardigans cool again since 2011.
“Never rent a hatchback,” she thought to herself,
“What… the fuck.. did I do… with my life…?”
Her hair looks like hell
Hair looks like it was stolen from my yard brush
where is my * yard brush?
Does he live in a dorm room?
At least he had his lunch.
“American Pie”.
That’s it.
Why does she still even register a blip on any sonar/radar?
she was also known has drunken party girl and town slut.
Don’t forget American Pie 2.
She was also in The Big Lebowski
Don’t remember her in that? Don’t worry, neither does anyone else.