Liam Neeson can have Islam, I’m converting to this religion. Whatever this one is. Melonology.
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the soon-to-raped wax statues of RPattz and T-Lau (Do they call him T-Lau? They should call him T-Lau.), HulkBama, the hottest 40-year-old painter of Khloe & Lamar banging pictures I’ve ever seen and, fine, Jennifer Love Hewitt, you win. I’ll marry your breasts.
Also, quick note, been crazy sick the past two days, so sorry if the site’s been a tad off. But even though I legally qualify as a geyser now, I assure you my resolve to make dick jokes has never been stronger.
I shall return,
- The Superficial
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Hey fashionistas, ass fat denim is the new black! And sister, I know about black!
that’s a quote – i have sources
Can’t top that but I will try :)
Jeans for bovines…..MOO!
Never seen a picture of someone caught mid-stroke before.
It’s his impression of a wooden cigar store indian. Members of the audience said they found it a little too lifeless to be credible.
Funny
Title: “Angst and Queefs in Modern Culture”
Fascinating. (And, yeah, this comment nails it.)
I guarantee he is moments from jumping up and clicking his heels in this picture.
His daughter is so hot.
Does he close his eyes every time to imagine kissing Brooke?
That’ll be $5 dollars.
Imma be SICK
Can we officially declare him a leper now?
Derpilicious Plastic barbie?
More like snockered Barbie.
looks tasty!
Wow, that statue has more range and emotion than the real one…
Corrected caption:
The Amanda Seyfried wax figure at Madame Tussauds in London.
You see Kim in those jeans?
I guess this cuts down on the confusion.
The only time he could ever be stiff around women.
Hahahahaha!
I’ve got a sudden craving for pepperoni
8 hours in the makeup chair and she’ll be good as new.
That looks like it’s about to be a sneeze or death.
What’s that? You want me to start wearing a condom on my belly button? But it’s not even hurting you! Those are small bruises, suck it!
The melons are great but the roots need a touchup.
I think I can deal with them
She has hair?!?!?
Wow, a beautiful girl like that (I have no idea who she is) and you still manage to find something negative to say? Some “straight” guys sure do pass as gay nowadays. The only bad thing in that photo is that I’m not sitting right next to her.
I think it’s nice that we can all see her areolas. It makes me feel happy inside.
Usually their wax figures are spot on, so what happened this time?
Whenever one of my British friends starts talking about how America is filled with low-class, fake, plastic Barbie girls, I show them a picture of this chick.
The Larry King wax figure performing stand-up at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood.
Yeah, so life-like!
Palpatine goes incognito.
Later he killed everyone on set for touching his stuff.
Relax Francis
Any of you homos call me Francis, and I’ll kill ya.
Ugh. One too many CIMs will do that to you.
I thought it was Spike Lee.
HULK SMASH ECONOMY!!!
…for the win!
Now why would you put a couple of women along side of Taylor Lautner’s wax statue ?. There should be a couple of twinks… or maybe bears…. I dunno, whatever his thing is.
or power bottoms
lol, please. taylors the power bottom
DUDE: (thinks) Who farted?
“Ive got the perfect ring for us hidden in my bunghole. Go on….take a look”.
WTF was he doing wearing pink pants before he got angry? What is he Hulkapimp?
The statue doesn’t look as downsy as the real thing.
doesn’t look like him at all. he looks more like a llama or one of those mountain sheep type animals.
UUUUUUGHHHHH!!!! FI-RE!!!! FI-RE!!!! UUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!
What word is written under that bikini bottom?
PUBES
flaps
rump. . . as in tasty rump roast. PETA. Ha. What morons.
Also included is the John Boehner doll. I hear it cries on the spot.
Pay attention Lindsay: This is what a working actress looks like on the set of a movie she didn’t have to blow her way to even mention she was going to be in…
…although said movie ironically involves her character blowing everything on sight for a living, but I digress.
The look of someone who just found out there’s no stunt double for the deep throat scenes.
the wadded up tissues of a thousand masturbations.
I was thinking tampons myself.
Hi dad!
Are you fucking kidding me.
All those little tissues will come in handy. Most guys wont give you anything to wipe your face off with afterwards.
Ahahahahahahaha….. excellent!
Steampunk Blackula in the house!
“I vant to check your booOOilerpreehhsure!”"
Let’s bring some cannibals to that little protest to see how fast they run… I’ll hold that sign for her..
“Press 2 for Regis?”
Please tell me she hid the word “wookie” all throughout the painting. Otherwise, the superposition of a chick that looks like this and non-ironic celebration of a Kardashian is more than I’ll be able to bear.
Do they come with backup sensors?
Wait, abolish meat? If all animals have meat does that mean abolish animals? If we’re doing that it seems wasteful not to eat the yummy ones.
THANKS PETA!
If they abolish animals, does that mean I have to return all this tasty meat I just got from Omaha Steaks?