The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.26.12

January 26th, 2012 // 602 Comments

Liam Neeson can have Islam, I’m converting to this religion. Whatever this one is. Melonology.

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the soon-to-raped wax statues of RPattz and T-Lau (Do they call him T-Lau? They should call him T-Lau.), HulkBama, the hottest 40-year-old painter of Khloe & Lamar banging pictures I’ve ever seen and, fine, Jennifer Love Hewitt, you win. I’ll marry your breasts.

Also, quick note, been crazy sick the past two days, so sorry if the site’s been a tad off. But even though I legally qualify as a geyser now, I assure you my resolve to make dick jokes has never been stronger.

I shall return,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Jeans
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey fashionistas, ass fat denim is the new black! And sister, I know about black!

  2. Larry King Leather Jacket
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Never seen a picture of someone caught mid-stroke before.

  3. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cleavage Lingerie
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Title: “Angst and Queefs in Modern Culture”

  4. Nick Jonas Black Leather Gloves Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    I guarantee he is moments from jumping up and clicking his heels in this picture.

  5. Hulk Hogan Jennifer McDaniels Make Out Ass Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    His daughter is so hot.

  6. Hulk Hogan Jennifer McDaniels Make Out Ass Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he close his eyes every time to imagine kissing Brooke?

  7. Nicolas Cage
    Commented on this photo:

    That’ll be $5 dollars.

  8. Maya Spielman Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Portrait
    Instrom
    Commented on this photo:

    Imma be SICK

  9. Mickey Rourke Missing Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we officially declare him a leper now?

  10. Katie Price Cleavage Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Derpilicious Plastic barbie?

  11. Sophie Barrett Naked PETA
    Dirt Dog
    Commented on this photo:

    looks tasty!

  12. Taylor Lautner Wax Figure
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, that statue has more range and emotion than the real one…

  13. Amanda Seyfried Legs Short Shorts Lovelace
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Corrected caption:

    The Amanda Seyfried wax figure at Madame Tussauds in London.

  14. Larry King Leather Jacket
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    You see Kim in those jeans?

  15. Hulk Hogan Jennifer McDaniels Make Out Ass Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess this cuts down on the confusion.

  16. Taylor Lautner Wax Figure
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    The only time he could ever be stiff around women.

  17. Rihanna Nipples See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve got a sudden craving for pepperoni

  18. Kelly Ripa No Make Up
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    8 hours in the makeup chair and she’ll be good as new.

  19. Nick Nolte
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks like it’s about to be a sneeze or death.

  20. Kelly Ripa No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s that? You want me to start wearing a condom on my belly button? But it’s not even hurting you! Those are small bruises, suck it!

  21. Kelly Brook Bikini Instagram
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The melons are great but the roots need a touchup.

  22. Rihanna Nipples See Through Shirt
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I think it’s nice that we can all see her areolas. It makes me feel happy inside.

  23. Robert Pattinson Wax Figure
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Usually their wax figures are spot on, so what happened this time?

  24. Katie Price Cleavage Drunk
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Whenever one of my British friends starts talking about how America is filled with low-class, fake, plastic Barbie girls, I show them a picture of this chick.

  25. Larry King Leather Jacket
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    The Larry King wax figure performing stand-up at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood.

  26. Larry King Leather Jacket
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Palpatine goes incognito.

  27. Seal Mirrored Sunglasses
    Dude of Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    Later he killed everyone on set for touching his stuff.

  28. Katie Price Cleavage Drunk
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh. One too many CIMs will do that to you.

  29. Will.I.AM White Gloves
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it was Spike Lee.

  30. President Obama Incredible Hulk Figure
    Commented on this photo:

    HULK SMASH ECONOMY!!!

  31. Taylor Lautner Wax Figure
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Now why would you put a couple of women along side of Taylor Lautner’s wax statue ?. There should be a couple of twinks… or maybe bears…. I dunno, whatever his thing is.

  32. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cleavage Lingerie
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    DUDE: (thinks) Who farted?

  33. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cleavage Lingerie
    Dude of Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ive got the perfect ring for us hidden in my bunghole. Go on….take a look”.

  34. President Obama Incredible Hulk Figure
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF was he doing wearing pink pants before he got angry? What is he Hulkapimp?

  35. Taylor Lautner Wax Figure
    Commented on this photo:

    The statue doesn’t look as downsy as the real thing.

    • karlito

      doesn’t look like him at all. he looks more like a llama or one of those mountain sheep type animals.

  36. Larry King Leather Jacket
    icu
    Commented on this photo:

    UUUUUUGHHHHH!!!! FI-RE!!!! FI-RE!!!! UUUUUUUUUGHHHHH!!!!

  37. Sophie Barrett Naked PETA
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    What word is written under that bikini bottom?

  38. President Obama Incredible Hulk Figure
    Commented on this photo:

    Also included is the John Boehner doll. I hear it cries on the spot.

  39. Amanda Seyfried Legs Short Shorts Lovelace
    Commented on this photo:

    Pay attention Lindsay: This is what a working actress looks like on the set of a movie she didn’t have to blow her way to even mention she was going to be in…

  40. Amanda Seyfried Legs Short Shorts Lovelace
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    The look of someone who just found out there’s no stunt double for the deep throat scenes.

  41.  Zahia Dehar Cleavage Lingerie
    hate myself and want to die
    Commented on this photo:

    the wadded up tissues of a thousand masturbations.

  42. Hulk Hogan Jennifer McDaniels Make Out Ass Grab
    NG
    Commented on this photo:

    Hi dad!

  43. Maya Spielman Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Portrait
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you fucking kidding me.

  44.  Zahia Dehar Cleavage Lingerie
    Dude of Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    All those little tissues will come in handy. Most guys wont give you anything to wipe your face off with afterwards.

  45. Will.I.AM White Gloves
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Steampunk Blackula in the house!

  46. Sophie Barrett Naked PETA
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s bring some cannibals to that little protest to see how fast they run… I’ll hold that sign for her..

  47. Kelly Ripa No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    “Press 2 for Regis?”

  48. Maya Spielman Khloe Kardashian Lamar Odom Portrait
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me she hid the word “wookie” all throughout the painting. Otherwise, the superposition of a chick that looks like this and non-ironic celebration of a Kardashian is more than I’ll be able to bear.

  49. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Jeans
    Stewie Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Do they come with backup sensors?

  50. Sophie Barrett Naked PETA
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, abolish meat? If all animals have meat does that mean abolish animals? If we’re doing that it seems wasteful not to eat the yummy ones.

    THANKS PETA!

    • Fisticuffs

      If they abolish animals, does that mean I have to return all this tasty meat I just got from Omaha Steaks?

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