The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.26.12

Liam Neeson can have Islam, I’m converting to this religion. Whatever this one is. Melonology.

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the soon-to-raped wax statues of RPattz and T-Lau (Do they call him T-Lau? They should call him T-Lau.), HulkBama, the hottest 40-year-old painter of Khloe & Lamar banging pictures I’ve ever seen and, fine, Jennifer Love Hewitt, you win. I’ll marry your breasts.

Also, quick note, been crazy sick the past two days, so sorry if the site’s been a tad off. But even though I legally qualify as a geyser now, I assure you my resolve to make dick jokes has never been stronger.

I shall return,

- The Superficial

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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN