Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of celebrity nonsense and transmute it into pure gold. It’s just like alchemy, only the gold is dick jokes. Anyway, today we’ve got Wilmer Valderrama showing us his swag bag of high tech gadgets that he will trade to teenagers for sex, while Dolph Lundgren opts for a much more direct approach, Victoria Beckham letting baby Harper know what’s will happen if that double chin isn’t gone by her first birthday, this vampire, who will know haunt your dreams for the next eternity or so, and finally, Mark-Paul Gosselaar‘s epic fail at Hamming (I told you).
Holy Cow! Is that a recognizable person in the Final Five? You’ll have to forgive me, it’s unusual is all..
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Fun Fact: Rumer Willis has weighed the pros against the cons of having her head surgically removed.
She’s so outrageous!
Hitler was afraid this would happen…
hottest fakelesbo in hollywood.
Too cuteeee
For as many tattoos as she has all I can think of when I see her is WIG.
It’s like he’s smuggling in a little Hershey Kiss for a snack!
“Well howdy-doo, ladies and gentlemen. In a moment we’re gonna play you some ditties from down home on the worm farm. In case you’re wondering, we are ‘The Crotch Brothers’!”
“Oh please, please, please, Boss. Can I have that tall one? Can I? Can I? Can I…???”
WHOA…!!!Don’t shoot that woman. You might get blood in the antipasto…
Much nicer tits than you have, huh?
He’s 55 and in amazing shape, PhD in chemical engineering, he was the European Heavyweight Karate champion, he has an IQ of 160. What’s that, internet losers?