Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which has turned out to be a most comprehensive collection of all things TCWM. Just to be sure, I’m going to dust off the checklist I tore out of Fish’s instruction manual — which was passed down to me on day one of this job — Unlocking The Internet Code: Turning Candid Breasts Photos & Penis Jokes Into A Real Career! and give it a once over.
TCWM Rundown Sheet – Include all photos that could be described as follows:
1. Breasts, whenever possible, lead with.
2. Vague Star Wars references.
3. Hey, look how fat she looks!
4. Her too.
5. Completely unfair comparison of gorgeous mother to hideous daughter.
6. Completely fair comparison of Kim Kardashian‘s disgusting ass to Alessandra Ambrosio‘s amazing one.
7. More butts.
8. Hipsters and Douchebags.
9. Hey, look a drug addict!
10. Awkward Family Photos.
11. Politics.
12. People’s faces next to butts.
13. Mind control.
14. David Beckham‘s dong touching anything.
15. Dirty women.
And finally. Always, if possible, Billy Connolly wearing a fox pelt over his cock.
I can’t help feeling something else is missing fro– Prince Charles! Damnit, I was so close,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Do you like cigars?
i dont think we should be THIS close to the moon, craters may suck us in.
Thats not Moon, thats a Giant Space station…
It’s too big to be a space station
probably smells like the waste disposal system on a huge space station.
More like a retched hive of scum and villainy.
That my friends is the Death Star
Hard to recognize her without nipples popping out all over.
She tried, man, she tried. I guess the nipple just wasn’t having it today.
UGHH Why do we keep seeing this pale, cold-hearted, joyless woman!?!?!
Oh right, breasts… Got it.. Carry on…
let the wookie win
David,
I say this with sincere concern. I have noticed an unusual amount of pictures featuring you “adjusting” yourself.
This concerns me. The fact that you are now using turf to scratch yourself has forced me to break my silence and address you.
You banged scary spice, didn’t you?
The very moment that 6th sense hits.
Not even Luke would dare to attempt to launch torpedoes into that thing…
Which brings us to the sad realization that Kanye West is, in fact, stupider than a farm boy from Tattoine.
my daddy is a peter puffer
That gay midget should come out of the cupboard.
10-1 that the woman in the background was hired by his wife to keep tabs on him…
She’s watching to make sure that left hand doesn’t go anywhere other than that woman’s shoulder.
they finally perfected the cardboard cutouts for when a celebrity invites makes no sense at all.
invite
They’re just making them so life-like nowadays… Walks and everything…
Allow me to just slide under there real quick…
Moooooooooo!
Wow, this is like catching Kim Kardashian at a men’s urinal…
Wow, that was awesome
Bubba is always cruising for a nice rack to ogle.
No touching if you wanna stay out of trouble.
She stole the statue from a Bob’s Big Boy and put her jeans on it?
I’d be looking downward as well if I was being used as a cock cover…
Foxhunting’s just made for television. All that countryside – like golf but lots more action – camera on the back of the fox’s head and you’re laughing
Well OK, if you insist.
The master of distracting them with the smile as the eyes go downward.
Man, between her and Sandra Bullock’s adopted kid I have never been so afraid of toddlers in my life…
Moon over Mi-Hammy!!!!
Just thinking of the cow carnage that took place to cover that dumply ass is enough to make me want to join PETA. FYI “dumply” is dumpy and dimply.
thumbs up for “Dumply”
That’s a winner.
An audience of three must be a good night for her.
“Who me? I was not in that ice cream store.”
Yeast Mecca
This just reminds me that I haven’t pooped yet. I need to eat more fiber in my diet.
I’m pretty sure fucking the field is a foul in soccer.
The cow posted THAT photo of her artificial statellite sized ass for the masses?
Something not right in that heifer’s head.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Good God, you don’t suppose she’s actually proud of that thing, do ya?
Sucked Kanye in. Or was that just its gravitational pull?
smack that herpes!
Forrest #2. What the woods smell like after the Wookie takes a shit.
… must… not… look…. GODDAMNIT!
I’ve seen linebackers in better shape.
“Please come down from there Ms. Kardashian. You can’t just set up and sell your stuff in our hotel.”
STILL fucking hot.
Better now than thirty years ago.
Getting a handy on the street again I see.
Man, THIS should have been the Cloverfield monster.
What do you mean? Wasn’t it?
I am the Suri, you will do as I command.
Unfortunately got more of dad’s looks than mom’s.
true . but i would definitey do her over Rumor willis.
As long as we’re comparing, I’d do her over Rita Rusic, but that doesn’t make Alexa any better looking than she actually is.
Thank you for the palate cleanser after the cottage cheese plate.
So I assume from her I don’t give a shit wardrobe choices that she’s belting out some heavy metal classics there for the big PNC Bank Arts Center crowd.
You wouldn’t know it from that lame-ass name or “Holmdel, NJ,” but the PNC Bank Arts Center is the major concert venue for the New York City area and is supposed to be one of the most successful ampitheaters in the country.
In the little bags?
Sticks of butter rolled in Nestle Nesquick.
I would have guessed deep fat fried Snickers bars.
They’re probably normal sized shopping bags to most.
Those are nothing to be mad about.
“Yes dats da new choppa, complete with maid service.”
Can we get this photo blown up and shown at the republic convention this week? If enough heads explode, this could be the best thing to happen to our country since Franklin went to France.
utterly GROSS!! …no really!
Udderly.
If there is any truth to Franklins history, he has had that done to him on numerous occasions
Oh, Jon, you fashion animal you.
Yeah, well how many cock pushups can YOU do ?
Not bad from a safe distance.