The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.26.13

August 26th, 2013 // 670 Comments

Welcome to a post-awards-show-weekend Monday edition of The Crap We Missed. Roughly translated, that means there’s a ton of shit in here. I’m tempted to point you right to the end of this gallery for my favorite selections from the VMAs, starting here, followed by Tommy Lee DJaculating and all ending with news that Miss Butt Brazil is getting its own show. I can’t wait for you to get there, but I don’t want you to miss Flynn‘s 21st birthday party that’s supposedly taking place in a nightclub, but we all know it’s an IHOP, Gerard Depardieu still wondering why nobody took his cookie order yet, or John Malkovich trying to explain to this little girl why he’s wearing her grandmother’s pajamas.

Wait, Marc Anthony was at that Scientology Gala thing too?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how that latex underwear thing flattens her ass to look like a 90 y o at one point when she’s dancing with that Robin dude.

  2. Evan Ross Joe Simpson Revolve Beach House
    Commented on this photo:

    No, he’s not gay at all.

  3. Lady Gaga Breast Being Groped By Female Fan Outside Terry Richardson Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait… you can just do that outside Terry Richardson’s studio?

  4. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, Miley, you told US! Flipped us the bird! Ha! Got us!

  5. John Malkovich Wearing Pajamas Talking To Child
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kid, call me ‘Nana’ one more time, and it’s fucking on…”

  6. Sarah Jessica Parker Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the long face?

    (I’m sorry, I HAD to do it)

  7. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, you have to turn your hands around for that to work from behind, sweetie.

  8. Sarah Jessica Parker Swimsuit
    May Johner
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the long face?

  9. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Implants In Touch 6th Annual Idols & Icons Event
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks happy for someone who’s going to die soon.

  10. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    Commented on this photo:

    No Bradley, there is no penis down there. Stop reaching for it.

  11. RJ Mitte 21st Birthday Party Ghostbar
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold, as I make my heterosexuality D I S A P P E A R!!

  12. Gerard Depardieu Estaimpuis Belgium Honorary Citizenship Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    For the first time ever, the Girl Scouts hold their “One Million Box Customer” ceremony.

  13. Laurence Fishburne Harold Perrineau
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s a Red Pill and a Blue Pill…

    Take the Red Pill and you’ll forget that you ever banged my daughter.

    If you banged my daughter, you’re definitely going to need to take the Blue Pill right away.

  14. Gwyneth Paltrow Nipples Sideboob No Bra Sundress
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to be snarky here but the guy’s been banging world class tail for 50 years and invented an entirely new genre of social class.

    On the other hand he crapped his swim trunks in the Grotto.

  15. Tara Reid Bikini Jedward Yacht Raft
    Commented on this photo:

    Jedward? What direction is Jedward? “Hey everyone, Comic Con is over. We’re headed Jedward!”

  16. John Malkovich Wearing Pajamas Talking To Child
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me this is via the miracle of Photoshop.

  17. RJ Mitte 21st Birthday Party Ghostbar
    Capt Crunch
    Commented on this photo:

    “What time do you guys start serving breakfast?”

  18. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch, if I pinch more than a handful, I’m moving on to the next bimbo!

  19. Marc Anthony Kneeling Down Putting Face On Stage
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just dust Mr. Anthony, not Cocaine.

  20. John Malkovich Wearing Pajamas Talking To Child
    Hawhat
    Commented on this photo:

    “This disguise only works when I’m standing in front of a window.”

  21. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Jowls Fan Expo Canada
    Commented on this photo:

    At what level of celebrity are you just okay with someone grabbing your chest for their selfie photo? Gotta be weird.

  22. Katy Perry Wearing Grill Leather Bra Miniskirt Knee High Socks VMAs Afterparty
    Commented on this photo:

    Of all the things to ask for in the divorce, she chooses Russell’s teeth?

  23. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s he performing as, a bike rack?

  24. Jada Pinkett Smith Cleavage Bra Open Denim Shirt Afro Punk Festival Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Maryanne and Ginger look pretty good still. The Skipper…not so much.

  25. Mischa Barton Fat Legs
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy fucking shit.

  26. Gerard Depardieu Estaimpuis Belgium Honorary Citizenship Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like someone made another video game movie.

  27. RJ Mitte 21st Birthday Party Ghostbar
    Commented on this photo:

    The manual to this model is in German! Damn it!
    Now how do I make the legs open?
    Oh crap, her left eye just closed…

  28. Gwyneth Paltrow Nipples Sideboob No Bra Sundress
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not a book signing. She’s just wandering down the street being arrogant and condescending to random people now.

  29. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Jowls Fan Expo Canada
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    In order to make this bomb, you need 50 empty Twinkies wrappers. Hey dammit, don’t worry about what happened to the Twinkies!

  30. Lena Dunham Carrying Food And Drinks
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    And You know this is “on set” because she’s way too big of a star and “voice of her generation” to carry someone else’s beverage.

  31. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing quite says “Breaking free of the child star image” quite like acting exactly like every child star who wanted to “Break free”.
    Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.

  32. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Jowls Fan Expo Canada
    Schweddy Snatch
    Commented on this photo:

    McGyver turned Ron “Tater Salad” White?? I guess he couldn’t find a way to fix his metabolism with a paper clip and a rubber band.

  33. Tara Reid Bikini Jedward Yacht Raft
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    When your hootchie is aging and worn-out and you need a little more moisture down there, use AQUAGLIDE!

  34. John Malkovich Wearing Pajamas Talking To Child
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    When your hootchie is aging and worn-out and you need a little more moisture down there, use AQUAGLIDE!

  35. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Jowls Fan Expo Canada
    Schweddy Snatch
    Commented on this photo:

    McGyver turned into Ron “Tater Salad” White?? I guess he couldn’t find a way to fix his metabolism with a paper clip and a rubber band.

  36. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Bikini Hugh Hefner Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    Maryanne and Ginger look pretty good still. The Skipper…not so much.

  37. Sarah Jessica Parker Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad pony.

  38. Jada Pinkett Smith Cleavage Bra Open Denim Shirt Afro Punk Festival Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone’s about to get a Cease and Desist from Beyoncé’s copyright attorney.

  39. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Jowls Fan Expo Canada
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, I still got it! Just this morning I made a crack pipe out of an ink pen and some aluminum foil!

  40. Miranda Kerr Cleavage
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a point of showing a picture of this beautiful woman directly after a pic of Orlando Bloom after he apparently was caught outside during a bacon grease storm?

  41. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    Commented on this photo:

    Bradley reading Dr. Seuss to his latest beard?

  42. Sarah Jessica Parker Swimsuit
    Schweddy Snatch
    Commented on this photo:

    Awwww… There, there, Sea Biscuit. Ferris will be back with sugar cubes in no time.

  43. Lady Gaga Breast Being Groped By Female Fan Outside Terry Richardson Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    gaga’s profile really highlights how non-pretty the bitch is.

  44. Evan Ross Joe Simpson Revolve Beach House
    Schweddy Snatch
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. That was fast.

  45. Justin Timberlake Looking Terrified Of Guy In Military Uniform
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, thanks for your service. If you ever need me to hook you up with fedoras or pilgrim shirts, I totally got your back!

  46. Lena Dunham Carrying Food And Drinks
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Said it before and will say it again…. this chick ALWAYS as food nearby.

  47. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK, so according to this book, your anus and a man’s anus are pretty much the same except for a few minor issues”.
    “Bradley, there is no way I’m gluing fun-fur to my butt hole!”

  48. Miranda Kerr Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Evan, thanks for pulling this out of my ass. I can’t believe you were able to get all the way up there and get ahold of it.”

  49. Milla Jovovich Nipples See Through Shirt
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    So she’s just drinking guacamole and Thousand Island dressing at this point?

  50. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    hollyhood
    Commented on this photo:

    pshhhh her fingers look so photoshopped in this what total bullshit

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