The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.13.12

August 13th, 2012 // 762 Comments

Welcome to another overstuffed Monday edition of The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of seemingly innocent celebrity candid photos and whip them into a batter of fat jokes and dick puns. Like if you walked into a bakery and ordered a cake, but instead the staff just called you fat and gay. Anyway, today we realize that the producers of Gossip Girl are avid readers of the site, it’s a shame what bronze medal winners have to do to get anybody to give a shit about them, and Dolph Lundgren remembers the time Jean-Claude Van Damme showed him Thailand.

Back by the Internet’s insatiable lust for underage looking girls in bikini pics popular demand, Nathalia Ramos is your Final Five,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Pepa Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “I love it when you call me BIG Pepa”

  2. Jaden Smith Animal Print Skinny Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    It is impossible for him not to appear douchey

  3. Heidi Klum Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    MILF.

  4. Leighton Meester Butt Tights Ed Westwick Gossip Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    Bow ties fucking piss me off!

  5. Jonas Brothers Tank Tops Rolled Up Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, how are those purity rings working out for you (unmarried) guys?

  6. Una Healy Cleavage Spandex Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes please

  7. Chris Tucker
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m surprised to see him performing. But performing what? What does he even do anymore. That’s a well dressed janitor.

  8. Heidi Klum Cleavage
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly thought Tina Fey changed her hair color until I saw the name.

  9. Jillian Barberie Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeesh! Got hit by the ugly stick

  10. Chris Tucker
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Cleaning Chris Rock’s spooge out of your eye?

  11. Bono Shirtless Fat Man Boobs
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Please preface his name with “Chaz” in future…

  12. Dolph Lundgren
    meh
    Commented on this photo:

    I like this guy he played he-man and did another movie I can’t remember, something about stopping nukes, but has he done anything else at all?

  13. Leighton Meester Butt Tights Ed Westwick Gossip Girl
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Yay! Dr. Who is back in production, baby!

  14. Chelsee Healey Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    The UK girls must love that natural look

  15. Daniel Radcliffe Crazy Eyes
    Commented on this photo:

    Horse Cock!

    Dunno why, but that came to mind.

  16. Bono Shirtless Fat Man Boobs
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Robin Williams’ secret half brother.

  17. Jonah Hill
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    — insert joke about ordering food here —

  18. Bono Shirtless Fat Man Boobs
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, can you pose for a picture with me….in the 80′s?

  19. Julia Stiles Butt
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That’ll work.

  20. Beth Stern Kissing Possum
    Commented on this photo:

    Beth and Howard make a lovely couple

    • flailing

      they make a lovely couple for a couple of brain dead soul selling corpses.

      she is a adolescent in a woman’s horse body

  21. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    No Comment.
    No Comment.

  22. Matthew McConaughey Shirtless Six Pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Not to sound gay, but he has a great body.

  23. Leighton Meester Butt Tights Ed Westwick Gossip Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    The fucking picture is ruined by the douchebaggery that guy exudes. Don’t EVER put him in a picture with Meester’s keester again.

  24. Julia Stiles Butt
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    She sure knows to show her best angle…

  25. Emily Blunt Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Smoking Blunt

  26. Tom Daley Bronze Medal Diving Suit Olympics
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a good sign when most of them are laughing.

  27. Tom Daley Bronze Medal Diving Suit Olympics
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever the girls are seeing only got him a bronze…

  28. Bono Shirtless Fat Man Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we start a charity to save Bono from moobs?

  29. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass jumped the shark into sloppy territory

  30. Julia Stiles Butt
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s really in the lobby of a Best Western. Her agent has to take some liberties sometimes to keep her spirits up.

  31. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    There is something wrong with her.

    I mean other than her personality and family. And her choices in men. And her weird sexual fetishes. Vapidity, etc.

    I mean her body.

    • Johnny P!

      Who knew ‘vapidity’ would be the new ‘clever’?
      She (and her siblings) have built a multi-million dollar empire out of being utterly vapid.
      Or, is it the consume/viewing public that’s vapid…?

  32. Chelsee Healey Cleavage
    meh
    Commented on this photo:

    What does an Essex girl use for protection? A bus shelter!

  33. Jonah Hill
    Commented on this photo:

    Fat Jonah is so much funnier than skinny Jonah anyway

    • Anonymous

      Not really. Only difference in comedy is that fat Jonah makes jokes about eating pussy in his movies. Skinny Jonah makes jokes about sucking dick.

  34. Emily Blunt Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! I had no idea.

  35. Beth Stern Kissing Possum
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Next photo: half her face is missing.

  36. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Lets get this out of the way…. “moo”

  37. Daniel Radcliffe Crazy Eyes
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s seeing his career the way it looked several years ago.

  38. Dolph Lundgren
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “For the last time: Brigitte Nielsen and I DO NOT share a tent under a highway overpass!!!”

  39. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the first time I’ve seen a woman whose face looked worse with big sunglasses on.

  40. Bono Shirtless Fat Man Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m going to eat with or without you”

  41. Leighton Meester Butt Tights Ed Westwick Gossip Girl
    Ana
    Commented on this photo:

    I really hope that Blair has just gone (or is going) riding. This is not a very Blair like outfit. Nice ass, though.

    • weaselmouse

      Leighton’s ass is totally worth her having to wear this outfit. I’m grateful for it. Her ass is my god.

  42. Hofit Golan Cleavage Legs Minidress
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I expect those “soldiers” to break into dance any minute?

  43. Julia Stiles Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve always had a thing for this girl. Never seen her from the back though. I like what I’m seeing. i want to nail that ass to the wall.

  44. Cher Lloyd Panty Flash Upskirt Animal Print Panties
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    And the real Cher says: “Meh. Been there. Done that.”

  45. Zachary Quinto Chloe Sevigny
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    The gays love their weird chicks…
    BFFs!!!

  46. Tom Daley Bronze Medal Diving Suit Olympics
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    And from the women’s reactions, I predick a very low score…

  47. Jonah Hill
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t ask me why, I told you I NEED MORE BUTTER!!!

  48. Chris Tucker
    Commented on this photo:

    Desperate for money, Chris has turned to guessing the weight of imaginary men’s testicles…

  49. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    NO!

  50. Scott Bakula Porn Stache
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear I just heard some 70′s gay porn music play when I clicked on this…

Leave A Comment